Emily.

Emily 56.

Emily!

"It's beautiful on you boo!" Viv said as Nicole tried on a pink puffy dress. It was strapless and was really nice. I smiled and agreed to take it.

"What about you Emma?" Viv said.

"Oh no, I got a dress from Finsbury park." I smiled. She looked lost, and just nodded, I laughed and paid for Nicole's dress and we left. We went home and I called Stacey and asked about where the church is. She thought it was a conversation, so she was talking about how it would turn out, but the real deal was I would be seeing the turn out of everything. I soon got off the phone and got dressed in a nice blue short dress and wore lace tights and some black long heels. Me and Viv came to an agreement that we would do each others make-up. She did mine perfectly and my hair, and I did hers, I don't know why she was coming, she didn't even know where we were going. I made Nic look like a little princess, and she looked amazing, she wore tights and some nice shiny white shoes and we were soon set. We called for a cab and it came after a while and I gave the directions. The journey was filled with laughter and conversation between Nicole and Viv, about rubbish. I just looked out the window and watched the old streets I used to talk down. As we pulled up by the church I saw one or two people standing outside talking full of happiness. I knew we were late, by half an hour maybe? I paid the driver and we got down. Immediately I felt the presence of things of the past, I thought back to all the promises me and him made to eachother since we were little, we were suppose to be together till the end, and it was like I ruined us, I made all this rubbish occur. I ruined the friendship, and muddled it up with love, my best friend loved me, and I loved him, but now. I don't think it's there anymore, I was holding onto nothing, when other people could be in my life, yes, I have his child, but I deserve to live my life, and I intend to. I took a deep breath, if only I said yes to him all those years ago, I might be the one he shares that kiss of life with, Nicole would probably not be here, but I would have had a son or daughter that he KNEW of, that he cherished, watch the two people that took care of him/her get married, and become one family, but things were complicated now, Nicole didn't know who Denzel was, and Denzel probably doesn't think I exist anymore, only God know right? I proved to myself I didn't need him to baby me, by doing things myself, but I still haven't proved to myself that I can pull myself away from him, and turn away from my desires to be with him. I was sexually attracted to him, always! I don't know why, and it was always good, like he meant something, he made "making love" mean something, that's why Nicole's here, he showed me good love, I doubt I'll find anyone like him on this planet, the woman is very lucky to have him, she will not be complaining.

Nicole looked at me and tapped me.

"Are we gonna go in ma, or stand here looking at the house of the Lord Jesus?" I smiled and held her hand, we went in and there was an older man standing outside the rooms, I had no idea where to turn.

"Welcome, this way please." A young girl led us to the door, it was closed. We opened it and I saw a church filled with family and friends. It was quiet. Everyone looked at us.

"Is there anyone?" I put my head down and took Nicole's hand and we sat right at the back.

"Dang!" Viv shouted, everyone started muttering and looking at her, I saw him from the distance as I sat down looking back, he didn't see me, well he wouldn't recognize me anyway. He looked so manly and different, he looked .. wow. Viv kept hitting people's legs.

"Sorry boo! Woah how many people does this nigga know, I can see after this he'll be feeding the five thousand." She said loudly, a woman turned around and cussed her in Swahili. I knew this because grandma speaks it. I bit my lip and hit her.

"Since no one had anything to say, we can get started." I smiled and watched. They were saying the vows and I watched carefully. I started letting tears drop as he said his vows to her. Nicole held my hand and I looked at her and smiled.