Emily.

Emily 33.

Emily!

Times have past and things were good, I spent my weekends with Marcel, and then weekdays at home or sometimes at college. Things with Denzel changed, but I guess it was my fault, we didn't say much to each other, when I called him he rarely answered, I don't know, I tried to believe it was him being busy but he was avoiding me, I always saw him with his girlfriend, she was always talking to the girls but I didn't speak to her much, we said hi to each other at times. I started exercising in the spring to loose a bit of weight, I would run from my house near town and back, or walk and time myself, I had nothing else to do, so it was a good way to keep my mind on something good. I decided to walk as far as I could and listen to my music. I walked through some park and went around it six times then walked down another road. I quickly put my hair up and walked quickly timing myself, it was okay need to work on it to walk down here in at least 40 seconds, just gone a minute. I walked into the main road and waited to cross but the cars here were heartless only when it's a red light they let you cross. I sighed changing my play list to something more relaxing. There was car which stopped, I looked from the corner of my eye to make sure. I quickly jogged and kept going down the road till a car beeped the horn at me. I quickly took my head phones out and they beeped again, I shrugged and continued walking. They drove and he rolled the window down. I stopped and we stared at each other. He opened the car door and I walked and sat in quietly. He turned his music up and drove off and I sat in silence, and kept texting Marcel. He took me to his house, and we went up and I sat in his living room, which he had converted and made it all fancy and nice. I continued texting and he came and sat next to me and took my phone off me and switched it off. I sighed and looked at the TV.

?Should we talk?? He said.

?Sorry.? I said to him then looked at the screen. He turned it off, so I started fiddling with my hands.

?It's okay,? I nodded. ?I hate getting mad at you.? He said. I nodded again and looked around.

?Place looks nice.? I said changing the subject, I wanted us to forget it, it happened to long ago.

?Em, I don't want us to drift apart.? He said quietly.

?It's my fault how we are, I had my reasons.? I sighed.

?Wanna share them?? He said hugging me. I nodded and began..

?When you told me you love me, I felt the same way, for ages, but I wanted you to tell me how you felt, I was confused, and I wanted everything to work, but I was scared if we did get together my life would change, making it worse because if things turned bad, I would loose your friendship, and there was another boy in mind, and I wanted to be free and experiment, but I was so confused I went with what felt best for me, it was selfish, but I just wanted to keep you where you were, loving me, but not being able to have me. Which wasn't very nice, but then I realised I was loosing you and I tried what I could and it made it worse, and so thought I'd keep my distance.? I said biting my nails. He breathed out deeply and kissed my head.

?Still love you, your my best friend, it won't change.? I smiled and played with his hands.

?Me too.?

?Good.? He played with my hair and took it out the pony and touched it. ?What were you even doing on that road??

?Exercising, I wanted to loose weight.?

?Your fine, your skinny and them little sizes, I think. I'm not good with girl sizes but your fine.?

?No I want to loose weight.? He sighed and I chuckled. He touched my face and played with my hands and we sat in comfortable silence, the way we touched our hands was weird again, so we moved them away and I moved out of his opened arms.