Thoughts

Dear Future Husband

Hi, it's me.
Let me just call you "Mahal"
And let me introduce myself to you.
I'm France and i'm your future wife.

Ten years ago, i was excited to meet you. I was a believer of fairy tales, love at first sight, soulmates, and happy endings or so called happy ever after. Felt like i'm a princess in a castle waiting for his handsome prince charming.

Mahal four years ago, i'm dreaming of having you by my side. You, holding my hands and me, smiling back at you. I'm not a clingy type of person but i would love to look into your eyes and tell you i love you. I would love to smell your hair and bury my face into your chest. I will never care if we are in a public place, but, but yeah! Let's consider that. Let's do that in private.

Mahal, four years ago, i promised myself that i will be good to you, i will be honest. I will give you my everything. No secrets, no limits, no hesitations. It's us against all odds, if it is.
I swore to god that time that, It will only be you in my mind, my body, my soul and my heart. You will occupy my spaces from my fingers to toes. No other man, none but you.
To be you best friend.  To be your greatest enemy who will still cuddle you infinitely. To be your shoulder to lean and to cry on. To be your loving girlfriend. To be by your side forever.

We will get married. Me and you living in a simple home with our future child.
I'm your future wife.

Ten years ago, four years ago. Where are you now? I got tired of waiting mahal. I don't know what you're doing or are you still looking for me?

Sorry.

Stop now. I just don't want to hurt you. Maybe finding me isn't your destination. Maybe it isn't included on destiny's list. Okay, honestly i gave up. Maybe you're much better off without me. Maybe someone is much worthy of your love.  Maybe we will remain unknown to each other forever. Tagal mo. Pagod na 'ko. I'm sorry

Your future wife, france.