--
Jungkook wasn't why he did it.
He would say that his life had actually been on an incline since his minor breakdown, although he could hardly even look himself in the mirror anymore. As long as he kept his reflection out of line of view though, things were alright. Jimin was showing interest in him, something that Jungkook had never expected from the older ever.
Jimin said yes to meeting up after classes, he wanted to get to know Jungkook better.
Whenever that thought passed through his mind, Jungkook's lips would twitch, forcing themselves up into the tiniest of smiles without him even realizing. He was someone to Park Jimin.
So then why was he succumbing to his bad habits once more?
His fingers shook vigorously, almost losing his grip on the lighter as he lifted the hem of his t-shirt up. It was like that of a smoker, crawling back to their addiction, although it was deteriorating them from the inside out. Pressing the the cigarette to their lips, just like Jungkook pressed the flame to his skin; fully aware that no good came out of their actions.
And maybe Jungkook could quit if he had the support, could combat the urge if he had somebody to lean on.
He didn't know how to stop on his own, because he was weak. He would crack the moment the idea crossed his mind. It was also that in a sick way it felt good. It calmed him, and the sting would fizzle out across his skin and give him a sort of high that would be hard to explain to anyone who didn't have first-hand experience.
Jungkook sighed softly as he let the flame lick at his skin, his other hand holding up the fabric of his shirt. He hadn't done it in over a week, and he was ashamed to say that he missed it. It comforted him, and gave him some form of false safety.
His eyes were scrunched up shut, hand shaking slightly as he felt the new scars forming along his ribcage. The skin there was stretched thinner, making the sting there much more intense than on his stomach.
This is what he craved.
He felt so guilty for wanting it as much as he did.
"Jungkook."
Jungkook's heart stopped and without even thinking, he dropped the lighter immediately, tugging his shirt down as soon as he did so.
Taehyung stood in his doorway, expression a mixture of fright and sadness as he stared at the younger.
Jungkook felt like he couldn't breathe, eyes wide as he stood up from where he sat. He didn't even hear the door open, how long had Taehyung been there? How much did he see? "Jungkook, what were you doing?" Taehyung's voice wavered slightly towards the end of his sentence, making the younger sure that he had seen something.
"N-Nothing I swear." Jungkook lied, gripping the hem of his shirt. "I was getting dressed."
Taehyung sighed softly, walking over to the younger cautiously. "Hyung.. Could you go now?"
The older shook his head, continuing to walk closer.
"Lift up your shirt."
Jungkook's eyes widened, breath catching in his throat as his grip tightening on the hem of his shirt. He wouldn't. He couldn't. He could feel the burns stinging beneath his clothes, and knew that they would look terrible to Taehyung's eyes.
