--
"Good to know that you take what I say with a grain of salt."
Jimin had one earbud in, sketchbook balanced on his lap despite his hands being occupied on his laptop keyboard. Jimin did this often when things were stressing him out; throwing himself so far into his work that his brain didn't have time to think of any of his issues. A frown was etched into his features, fingers furiously typing up a critique about another classmate's artwork, and a half finished portrait being worked on in between paragraphs.
"When I told you that I can't fall in love with my soulmate did you think I was bluffing?" Jimin continued, adjusting his glasses and not allowing himself to make eye contact with Yoongi. "I'm sorry, but I don't know how to convince myself to forgive him."
Yoongi bit his lip as he listened to Jimin's words, the younger's solemn tone causing a heavy atmosphere in the room.
"Jimin, I've talked to him. Maybe if you did too, then you'd have a better perspective as to what his side of the story is." The older sighed, watching as Jimin's fingers halted typing. "If you block every inch of him out of you life so quickly, then how is anything with him ever going to get better?"
"Ever thought that maybe I don't want it to get better?" Jimin laughed humourlessly, hands moving away from his keyboard before picking up his pencil once more. "He's... Not a healthy relationship for me, I don't think. If he didn't have the self-control for all that time, how is he just suddenly going to change?"
"Jimin, he wants to." Yoongi frowned. "He's been trying to even before he knew that you two were soulmates. Recovery is hard, Jimin."
"Hyung." The younger of the two took in a deep breath. "How can I love him, if every time I see one of my scars I know that he was the one who caused them? I can't. I just..." Jimin swore softly as a tear dripped onto the page of his sketchbook. "Why does fate want me to suffer? Why is it so hard for me to find happiness?" He sniffled softly, "I thought I found it, because God, Jungkook is so fucking beautiful. I fell for him so hard, with his addictive laugh and smile."
Yoongi didn't speak a word, watching silently as Jimin closed his laptop and pushed his sketchbook off of his lap. "I loved holding him too, and kissing him softly even though we never put a label on what we were." He shook his head. "But I can't. I can't, I can't." Jimin held his fairly shaky hands in his lap, looking out the window as he tried to think of words that would help him elaborate. "I want to hold his hand and tell him that everything is going to be alright, but I also want to push him as far away as possible because this isn't good for me!"
"And this is?" Yoongi scoffed, gesturing to the state Jimin was in. "Overworking yourself, worrying, and stressing is good for you?"
"I'm caught in situation in which I can't win." Jimin sighed, removing his glasses so that he could wipe at his eyes properly. "Even when I push him away he still hurts me. How am is supposed to find someone else when I know that I've already met the person that I'm fated to be with?"
"Jimin..." Yoongi sighed, eyeing the younger sadly. "If you're not going to forgive him, at least talk to him. He cares about you." Jimin slowly looked over, testing eye contact with him. "He was basically emotionless when I saw him. He looked... Like he had given up. But he yet wouldn't hurt himself because he would be hurting you too. He knows how much he's already hurt you, and with how he acted towards you before all of this happened, do you really think he wants to hurt you again?"
"You don't understand how it feels though." Jimin sighed, finally meeting gazes with Yoongi.
"No, I don't." Yoongi answered, standing up and walking over to Jimin's bed before sitting down next to him. "Tell me what's going on in there Min." He tapped Jimin's head softly, making the younger crack a half hearted smile.
"One half of my mind is telling me to run. To run so far away and never look behind me." He looked down, "But then the other half is telling me to turn around allow one more chance, you know? Because Jungkook made me feel something that no one else that I've ever been with has made me feel."
Jimin looked up at Yoongi once more, eyes tearing once more and ears tinted the faintest shade of pink. "He made me feel loved." Jimin took his glasses off, setting them beside him as he wiped at his eyes. "Everyone else just cared about my body, and I knew that, so that's what I offered. But Jungkook... He looked past that, I guess. Despite me being me and turning things physical, he took it past that and wanted to just talk to me."
Yoongi sighed softly, taking Jimin's hands in his and playing with the younger's smaller fingers - it always was something that calmed him down and relaxed him.
"Please talk to him, at least just that." Yoongi frowned, looking into Jimin's eyes. "Jimin, it doesn't have to end with you two being in a relationship again, but don't let everything be toxic between you two. It won't benefit either of you, and you know that don't you?"
"But it's so much easier to just ignore, forget, and move on." Jimin sighed, watching as Yoongi shook his head.
"Do you want what's easier, or what's better?" The older asked, Jimin shrugging and looking down.
"See the thing is, I know that I hurt him because of what I said to him, and I don't know if I can look at him and not want to crawl into a corner." Jimin spoke softly. "I... I didn't mean all of them. I was just mad, and shocked. Hurt too."
"Jimin I'm not the person that you should be telling this." Yoongi shrugged, releasing his hold on the younger's hands before he moved away a small bit. "I don't want you to think that I'm 'taking Jungkook's side' or something like that. You're basically my younger brother, what I'm suggesting is what I believe is best for you."
"Hey Hyung," Jimin laughed softly, "I don't think I'd mind if you ended up being my soulmate."
Yoongi chuckled, a light dusting of pink appearing on his face.
"I think I'm out of your league."
-
