Kaleidoscope

Chapter Five

Theresa began to sink into despair. Each time she got into her mom's car to visit the doctor or just get out of the house, a sinking feeling bit into her soul. Being on the roads brought back the terror she felt when she saw the tractor trailer coming up on her right, weaving before it overturned. Kelly had been on her phone texting her parents and never saw it until the very last minute. The look of horror on her face was emblazoned in Theresa's brain. Now she had to live forever with that last image of her best friend.

Rose approached her one morning, asking if she wanted to talk. Her sullen attitude toward everyone, especially her brother was taking its toll on the family.

"There's nothing to talk about," she said, as her mom pressed her to open up. "I'm fine."

She had that ability to shut down anyone who ventured to have a conversation with her. Her emotions ran deep and she shoved them down, not wanting to face them-or talk about them- to anyone.

"Why are you so angry with Danny?" her mom asked, finally having noticed the tension between them.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

With that, Theresa rolled her wheelchair back to the solitude of her room, shutting down any chance her mom had of breaking through to her.

Rose walked into the kitchen and found Danny with his computer open at the table.

"Don't you have anything better to do than stay on that thing all day?"

"Leave me alone, Mom. I get done what I have to do." He picked up his laptop, went to his room and shut the door.

So much for conversation, thought Rose as she turned to start dinner.

Theresa tried keeping in touch with her friends from high school, but she soon found out that once their initial concerns for her well-being were expressed, they quickly retreated into their own lives. Her dedication to her physical therapy was admirable but the novelty of relearning how to live her life was beginning to fade. What was, in the beginning, a thankfulness that she was alive, was beginning to turn into a resentment about what kind of life she was living.

Her biggest hurdle was missing her best friend. Kelly's parents had been more than gracious to her, but she dreaded the day their concern for her would morph into blame for what happened to their daughter. Kelly was their only child and now they faced the rest of their lives childless.

Without school, she had nothing. Rose had suggested that she consider taking some online courses, but she missed the camaraderie that crowded lecture halls had provided. She was isolated and lost. A few short months ago, she had been at the top of her game and now she was frozen in time. She sat in front of her computer and wept for the first time since she heard that Kelly had not survived the accident. Only this time she wept for herself.

Danny was now in his Senior year and he began to apply to out of state schools which did not go over well with Rose.

"We need you around here, Danny."

"Dad didn't stay around, did he?"

"What happened between your father and me had nothing to do with Theresa-there were other issues," answered his mom, color rising in her cheeks. This was personal space he was touching on-sensitive space.

"Don't you think I don't know that he's having an affair with someone else?"

Color crept up in Rose's face as she realized for the first time that her son was aware of more than she thought.

"That's not any of your business, Danny. It's between your father and me."

"Like hell it is. He should be here helping us-here with his family where he belongs."

"Watch how you speak around here, young man. Leave your father out of this. This is between you and me."

Danny, regretting bringing up the subject, backed down.

"I'm sorry, Mom, it just makes me so angry. I still don't know why I need to stay around. Jen's here if you need extra help."

"Your sister has her own life to lead."

"So do I!" he yelled, ignoring the hurt look on his mom's face.

The difficulties they had confronted the past year had strained them to the breaking point. The family was wound tight as a rubber band. Rose knew she had neglected Danny, and discovering that Tom had been having an affair had made his leaving all the more painful. She knew she was partly responsible, but could not forgive him for leaving when their family was in such crisis. She wondered if she might be taking it out on Danny and placing an undue burden on him.

"I think it's time to end this conversation, Danny, until you settle down a bit."

Danny stormed up to his room. At least he had gotten his mom's attention.

Days passed and the air began to clear. Rose mulled over the conversation she and Danny had.  Realizing that she had unconscionably failed him when he really needed her, and mortified that he knew about Tom's dalliance, she pulled him aside one afternoon and sat him down for a heart to heart talk. It was the first time in a long time that she gave her undivided attention to her only son.

"I haven't been fair to you, Danny," she said.  I know you want to get out and be on you own" If you want to apply out of state, I'll support you. It will be difficult to have you go, but you deserve a life of your own and I realize that now. We'll be fine here."

Danny reached over and gave his mom a hug. "Thanks, Mom, for understanding."

Rose looked away, hiding the anguish in her eyes.

Danny settled on the University of Massachusetts where they offered him a soccer scholarship. His parents were both amazed. Where had his talent come from? Danny thought it so sad that they were surprised. He had been right there all along and now he was leaving just when they were beginning to notice him.