Kaleidoscope

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Danny got to the last number and hung up. He couldn't do it. He struggled with what he would even say. Just a simple conversation was all he could muster. What if she asked a lot of questions? Was he ready to answer and put his life out there? He couldn't do this without a little boost. But then he would start all over again. No. Couldn't even make it twenty-four more hours, could he? Weakling. Addict. Failure. Correct on all counts. He called Josh instead. Agreed to meet him in the usual spot. Just one more time, he thought. Then I'll quit. After I see Kim.

Josh met him on the corner and they exchanged packages.

"Hey, man. I have something else you could try," Josh said.

"Nah, I'm good."

"You'd be surprised how much better you'll feel," Josh encouraged.

Danny held his ground. He couldn't stand the thought of needles. He couldn't start down that path.

"Suit yourself. You know where to find me."

Danny left. He had dodged a bullet. Just an upper and he would be able to make that phone call. Maybe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Kim, it's Danny. Danny Foster. Remember me from the concert and English class last fall?" His voice shook.

"Of course, I do, Danny. It's nice to hear from you. I wasn't sure you would call."

"I said I would. I keep my word. I was wondering if you'd like to meet somewhere. Maybe the coffee shop in town."

"That would be great," Kim answered, feeling like she'd never been on a date before. But, this wasn't a real date, was it?

They agreed to meet in an hour. Kim rushed upstairs to put on some make-up and fix her hair. Goose bumps covered her arms as she changed into something she thought Danny would like. Slacks and a sweater. No. Jeans would be cooler. Jeans and a sweater. Maybe just a sweatshirt so he wouldn't think she was trying to impress him. Yeah, that's it. Jeans and a sweatshirt. But it had to be her UMass sweatshirt. But would that make him uncomfortable? Maybe her high school sweatshirt would be better. Yeah. Better not make him feel bad right off the bat.

She asked to borrow the car and told her mom that she was going out for a while. It wasn't worth mentioning Danny's name if it came to nothing. Listen to me, she thought. You'd think we were dating.

She arrived first and found a booth for them to sit in. Then she thought that might be too cozy so she switched to a table. It was just a friendly chat. A table would be fine.

She peered out the window watching a late winter snowstorm dropping its delicate flakes. It was a bit unusual for Virginia, but she was used to snow from New England. She could see the flakes begin to accumulate on the windshield of her car as she waited. Maybe he wasn't coming after all.

Further up the street, Danny was hovering behind a car pulling out of a parking space. He was talking to himself, rehearsing the words he would say to Kim. How much was he willing to share? He pulled into the space and headed for the coffee shop, his boots making imprints on the gathering snow. He paused before entering, mustering up his courage. He spotted her in the back before she noticed him. He still had time to turn around. Dumb ass, he thought. Don't blow it now. The bell jingled on the door as he opened it. Kim looked up and waved him over. It was time.

"Hey, thanks for meeting me," he said. "It was really great to run into you at the concert. What did you think of it?" He wanted to ask if she had been with a guy but, realizing how forward that would sound, he let the question lie.

"It was fantastic. Laura and I couldn't stop singing his songs on the way home."

Laura, he thought, warmth beginning to seep into his body.

The air suddenly went silent as neither knew how to proceed. Finally, Kim took the lead and asked him how it was being back home. Without realizing it, she had opened the can of worms that he was so afraid to share with her.

"Um, things are okay. There's lots going on in my family."

"Families are like that," Kim answered.

Danny swept the hair off his forehead and stared at the menu, giving himself more time to gather his convoluted thoughts. One thing at a time.

"How's your brother?" he began, stalling for time.

"He's great. He was asking about you the other day. Did you tell me once that you only had sisters?"

Here was the opening Danny was waiting for. He dove in.

"I have an older sister, Jen, who's in graduate school studying to be a Physician's Assistant, and another sister, two years older than me."

He paused, not sure what to say about Theresa. Did he really want the conversation to be so heavy so soon? But this was what he was here for, so he went on.

"You see, there's this situation. My sister, Theresa, was in an accident on her way back to school one Thanksgiving. She was driving and her best friend was killed and it left Theresa paralyzed."

Kim stared deep into Danny's eyes seeing the pain he was trying to mask. She let him continue.

"The reason I was so stunned when I first met you was that you're a dead ringer for her—same hair, same eyes—you could be twins. I didn't know how to handle being reminded of her, so I avoided you. I'm sorry, Kim. I wanted to get to know you but I was afraid."

Danny ran his hands through his hair and continued to look down at the menu sitting in front of him.  He didn't know what reaction to expect from Kim so he just waited.

Voices in the coffee shop competed with the thoughts in Kim's head as she tried to process what she had just heard. She still didn't know what made him leave school, but she could understand his discomfort around her. It suddenly all made sense: the stares, the stolen glances, the avoidance. No wonder he couldn't be around me. I wonder what changed to make him call me now, she thought.

"How is your sister doing?" she asked softly. "I can't imagine losing my best friend under such horrible circumstances. And then dealing with ...the other, the paralysis." The words were stuck on her tongue, not wanting to come out.

"She's coming along okay, I guess," Danny answered not wanting to delve any deeper into the family troubles. Abruptly changing the subject, he asked her how UMass was and how her studies were coming along. He realized he didn't even know what she was studying. Kim got lost in the conversation about herself and rattled on about Tess and rooming together next year and maybe looking for an apartment instead of living in the dorm. She immediately became self-conscious at her self-absorption and tried to steer the conversation back to Danny and his sisters, but it was too late. He had moved on and she could see that he wasn't ready to explain any further.

"Could I see you again before you go back on Sunday?" he asked, his nerves causing his fists to ball up under the table.

"I'd like that," Kim responded. She left one hand on the table to see if he would reach for it. When he didn't she grabbed a napkin to wipe up a spill, dispelling any embarrassment either of them had.

"I'll call you later and maybe we could see a movie or something," Danny said.

"That would be great."

With dusk beginning to cast shadows on the accumulated snow outside, Danny offered to walk Kim to her car. She shivered and he reached out to put an arm around her. She leaned into him, once again feeling his warmth spreading into her veins.