Kaleidoscope

Chapter Twenty

The following Wednesday, Rose pulled into the parking lot of Dr. Connelly's office and sat in the car to pull herself together. The breeze outside began to stir, pulling the tree branches into a canopy over the entrance to the building, blocking the sunlight. Rose questioned why she was here. This would be the first time she had been in the same room with Tom since their conversation about Theresa. Could she keep her composure when they examined their lives together? Taking a deep breath, she exited her car and entered the shadows of the building.

Tom was already in the waiting room when she got there and he stood when Rose walked in. It felt like they were dating again. Could they turn back the clock that simply? At a loss for conversation, they turned to the magazines scattered on the tables. The riffling of the pages was the only break in the silence of the room. After what seemed like hours, but was, in fact, only ten minutes, they were called into the doctor's office and sat down. The intimacy of sitting so close to one another was not lost on either of them.

Dr. Connelly began with Tom and asked him why he thought he and Rose were separated.

"I don't know exactly, except that I was the one who walked away when things got really tough at home after the accident."

"Yes, you did," Rose interjected.

"Wait a minute, Rose," Dr. Connelly said. "Let Tom finish."

"After the accident, I felt completely shut out with her obsession with Theresa. I knew she needed her, but I never felt included in her feelings or her life."

Dr. Connelly interjected. "Tom, I want you to direct your conversation to Rose, please."

"Is that why you had an affair?" Rose interrupted, once again.

"I know that was wrong, Rose. I couldn't talk to you anymore so I turned to someone who would listen to me. I'm sorry if I hurt you that way. Believe me, it's been over for a very long time."

Dr. Connelly spoke. "How was your marriage before Theresa's accident?"

"It was fine," Tom answered.

"Like hell it was!" Rose said. "You spent all of your time at the office or on your damn business trips and we lost any sense of family we ever had."

Tom was startled at Rose's admission, even at her language. He realized the pent-up anger that was seething in his estranged wife. Where else had he gone wrong?

"And what about Danny?" Rose continued. "He's your only son and you never had any time for him. When was the last time you even had a decent conversation with him before the accident? You never even went to see any of his soccer games."

"Neither did you, Rose. I'll admit Danny got lost in the shuffle after the two girls, but you were just as responsible for that as I was. No wonder he almost flunked out of school."

"Oh, don't lay that on me," Rose answered, color rising in her face.

"Then whose fault is it?" Tom shot back.

As tempers rose, Dr. Connelly, interjected. "I think we need to stop here. It's obvious that there are some buried issues surfacing. Why don't you both think about what has been said here today, and we'll meet again next week. Is that okay with both of you?"

Tom and Rose looked at each other, resentment flowing between them. They were both hurt and exhausted and needed time to process all that had been said. As they got up from their chairs, Tom, settling himself, thanked Rose for coming and asked if she were still willing to go on with the counseling.

"I'll try again, if you will," she answered. Tom reached for the door and let Rose leave first. He followed a few steps behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rose walked to her car in a daze. In her complete absorption with Theresa after the accident, she hadn't realized how much Tom was hurting too. But, he could have been more sensitive to her feelings as well. Clearly, they had stopped caring about each other long before the tragedy turned their lives upside down. But, then there was the affair. Oh, how she hated him right now for hurting her that way. Was he trying to punish her? She could tell right now that these sessions were going to be painful, but if she wanted to move on with her life, she needed to know where things had gone wrong in the past. She had much to think about until next week.

Tom pulled out of the parking lot still in shock with Rose's outbursts. Didn't she hear anything he had said in there? Didn't she realize by now that she had never included him in her life? He had behaved badly, but would it all have dissolved like that if there weren't other issues there? He was glad she had agreed to counseling even if they never resolved their problems enough to patch up their marriage. He just didn't know if he could handle her barrage of anger. It would be a long week.