Kaleidoscope

Chapter Thirty-Three

"Mom, can we talk? Do you have some time now?"

Rose glanced over at her son while continuing to clean the kitchen.

"Sure, Danny. Is this about that young lady you're seeing? I'd love to hear more about her."

"No, Mom, it's not about her. This is about me—and you and Dad and Theresa and Jen and the whole mess of us."

Rose placed the dishrag on the counter and turned to face her son, his words getting her attention.

"What do you mean, the whole mess of us?"

"You can't tell me we're even close to being a normal family, Mom. But, I need to talk about me now. There's something you need to know that I've been keeping from you."

Danny brushed a stray hair from his eyes and began.

"I didn't tell you everything about why I dropped out of school. Yeah, I almost flunked out, so I quit."

"That's old news now, Danny," Rose interrupted.

"Mom, you're not listening." Color began to leech out of Danny's face as he tried looking directly at his mom. He couldn't meet her eyes. He pretended he was in a therapy session, conjuring up another face to ground him so he could spit out his life for the past seven months.

"I know I wanted to get away, but once I got up to school, I realized how alone I was." Danny's eyes kept shifting away from his mom as he spoke. And then his life began unfolding like a slinky bouncing down a staircase, picking up momentum as he described his first foray into alcohol and drugs and subsequent collapse of his entire support system. He described his first party where beer was the drug of choice and then the fateful night that he was handed something else. The mere thought of the pills had him craving one to get him through the conversation. He felt as if he were in the confessional.

He tried to read the look on his mom's face. Part shock and part compassion gave way to anger as she tried to wrestle with her disappointment in her son.

"Are you telling me that you're taking drugs? Here under my roof? How dare you?" Her voice rose an octave as she berated her son.

Danny ducked out of the way of her tirade. It was pretty much what he had expected from her. He waited until Rose had exhausted herself and then he interjected.

"I want to check into a rehab center for a while, Mom. But, it's expensive and I don't have the money. I'm really trying to kick this thing, but I need your help."

"You should have thought about that before you went down that path, young man."

Rose paused, thinking of her next words.

"It will be best for all of us if you're gone for a while so, yes, I'll help you out. But, don't you dare come back here until you're clean."

Rose turned her back and walked upstairs to her study and closed the door.

Relief washed over Danny as he sat down for the first time since he had entered the kitchen. The sky was darkening with an approaching storm, the wind beginning to turn the new Spring leaves, but Danny's world was suddenly lightened. He felt clean for the first time in months. He hadn't felt this good since he had come home. It was ironic that the hardest part was still ahead of him, but admitting to his failings was a huge first step for him. He was determined to kick his habit.

As he was headed for the stairs to go up to his room, he ran into Theresa in the hall. He wondered if she had overheard any of his conversation with their mom. Her face was expressionless, so he guessed not. If he were going away she would have to know, but his mom would probably take care of that after he was gone. It was best left unsaid for now. He continued to his room. He had another decision to make. But before that, he had to call his sister.