Kaleidoscope

Chapter Six

September 2016 - Campus of UMASS

Cold ran down Danny's spine as he watched her enter the classroom. The girl with the athletic body, swaying auburn hair and sparkling emerald eyes moved effortlessly to her seat. He blinked, certain he was seeing his sister walking again.

He sat immobile, trying to untangle his brain. Reality grabbed hold of his shoulders and shook him. He looked over to where she was sitting. He knew it wasn't his sister. Should he try to meet this version of her? Would she have the vibrant eyes, the eyes of vitality, passion, and the wonder of the future — the eyes his sister once had? All he could remember now was the resurgence of grief he saw every time he looked at his sister in her wheelchair — the sadness, the resignation that poured out of her body. Did this girl sitting so calmly in the front of the class really look so much like her or was it his imagination playing tricks on him? There was only one way to find out. When class was over he got up from his seat in the back of the room and slowly approached her.

He walked by her desk, clumsily knocking over her backpack perched precariously on the edge. The contents spilled on the floor. Damn, he thought. He bent down to help scoop them up and their eyes met, her beautiful green eyes. Like emeralds. Like Theresa's.

"Sorry. I'll get these," he said totally unglued.

"No problem," she answered. Dimples creased her cheeks as she smiled back.

"I'm Danny." He felt himself blushing with embarrassment.

"I'm Kim. I'm sorry, have we met before? I feel like you recognize me and I'm not sure I can place where."

"No, you just remind me a lot of someone. Sorry if I was staring." Unnerved, he made a bee line for the door.

He heard her call out , 'See you,' as he left. What seemed like a slow-motion encounter had only lasted moments, but he was sweating despite the cool autumn air.

He walked across the campus quickly trying to dispel the images cluttering his mind. What were the odds that one girl could propel him hundreds of miles back home when he was here to get away?

Still reeling from his encounter with Kim, he almost ran headlong into Coach Wilson.

"Hey, Danny, nice to have you onboard," he said. "We've seen some great things from you."

Danny was nervous. He may have been great in high school but here he was competing with the best of the best. He would have to prove himself all over again. At least now he was among strangers – no one to see him screw up. Although no one ever saw him anyway.

"Thanks, coach, I appreciate it. It's great to be here."

A sudden feeling of confidence came over him with the coach's words. He had done some great things and had been noticed. That's why he was here on scholarship. The coach's words filled a void in him that had been present for a long time.

By the time he got to the locker room to change, he had a renewed sense of assurance that he was in the right place doing the right thing. After all,l this is what brought him here to begin with.  He ran onto the field and was greeted by all the new players. As they began to run their drills, he could see that he had his work cut out for him. For a moment, flashes of Kim and then Theresa, ran through his mind. How could they possibly look so much alike? A ball came crashing into him and brought him to his senses. He had to concentrate or he'd make a fool of himself. He shrugged off his thoughts. There would be time for them later.

When practice was over, Danny started back to his room. By this time, the sky was already beginning to darken, the night descending a bit earlier here than back home. He looked around him at the sheer beauty of the campus. It was just far enough away from home. But, it wasn't without its challenges. He had learned a few things in the week he had been here.

Adjustment #1 – He was not alone – he was living with a stranger.

His roommate, Chuck, was a nice enough guy but certainly not interested in studying and far from quiet. Sometimes Danny just needed to sleep or study and Chuck spent hours on the phone, creating quite a disturbance. He missed his room at home and was almost homesick. ALMOST.

Adjustment #2: His time was not his own.

Every time he thought he had a moment to himself, Chuck would come whirling in with some friends wanting him to go over to the Student Union. Danny, not wanting to be rude, would go.

Adjustment #3: He was one of hundreds navigating a new world.

He didn't make friends as easily as others, so he knew he needed to come out of his comfort zone and put himself out there.  This wasn't high school any more.

The grass is always greener, isn't it? he thought.

When he walked into his room, Chuck wasn't there; he looked forward to some peace and quiet before the hallways erupted in the usual boisterousness he had come to know as dorm living. Looking up at the ceiling from his loft bed, he tried closing his eyes to sleep. His hands tensed as he feared the dreams that always came with sleep. Seeing Kim had made the accident all too vivid for him. He tried to banish the memories, but they were always present.

Suddenly, Chuck barged into the room, ruining Danny's chance of getting some rest.  It was just as well. He wasn't going to relax any time soon. He threw on his sweatshirt and went over to the Student Union with Chuck. Now he needed the noise to distract him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Never one to fuss over her looks, Kim suddenly began to pay more attention to her appearance, determined to get Danny to notice her again. They went back and forth to English classes playing their little dance. He would nod, she would nod back and then he would skip out of class. She pulled on her big girl attitude and cornered him one morning before he managed to get past her.

"What do you think of the professor?" was all she could think to say. So much for the attitude!

"I guess he's okay," Danny replied.

Not very talkative, she thought as she tried to pull more out of him.

"Where are you from, Danny?"

"Just outside of D.C. in Virginia," he answered, eyeing the door to escape.

"No kidding. I live in Arlington. Small world. So, who do I remind you of?" she continued. She was on a roll now.

"Just someone back home. Well, I gotta go to soccer practice."

"Sure. Nice talking to you."

Danny walked away leaving Kim as confused as she was the first time he had looked at her. But, oh, those eyes. He would be hard to forget.

Why can't I have a decent conversation with her? Danny thought as he disappeared into the crowd. I was never this bad in high school, although there was the time I wanted to ask Sally Thurmont out and never had the nerve. I never even went to my senior prom. Maybe I am a loser, like Theresa always said. It's just that every time I look at Kim I see the Theresa that used to be. She's so damaged right now. I mean, she's still Theresa, but everything has changed for her. She still thinks she's responsible for Kelly's death. Mom is so wrapped up in her, it's even worse than before. And I don't know where Dad's head is anymore. He hardly speaks to any of us.