Kaleidoscope

Chapter Fifty

Should I call her, Danny thought as he struggled with getting in touch with Kim. Maybe texting would be better. It wouldn't involve too much conversation. So, he texted and told her he was coming home in a week and hoped he could see her.

He didn't hear back from her immediately, making him uneasy. The only thing he could do was wait.

He went back to the rehab center after Jen's party with plans to leave for good in a week. That would be a month since he left home and he felt he was ready. He would continue to go to the family sessions for as long as Dr. Connelly wanted them to meet. And he would have his once a week NA meetings to go to. It was essential to his recovery.

He got out of the cab, paid the driver and went to his room. Just then, his phone beeped with a message. He quickly drew it out of his pocket and saw that it was Kim. She said very simply, 'Call me when you get home. I'd like to see you.'

A smile creased his face. She was still in the picture. But, there was so much he had to tell her that might scare her away. He needed this week of counseling to stoke up his courage to meet with her and tell her the truth.

He ran into Ellie, and she welcomed him back.

"How was the Graduation, Danny? You must be very proud of your sister. How did you feel being home again?"

"We had a perfect day, and it felt good being home," Danny answered. "Things are still strained, but I think they're getting better. But, I need to talk to you about something in our next session."

"I'm here for you, Danny. I'll see you this afternoon."

Danny already felt better knowing he would be able to confide his uneasiness about talking to Kim with someone impartial. He went to his room to think.

At 3:30 he went to Ellie's office for his private session. He would have group later this evening.

"Come in, Danny, and we'll get started."

Danny looked around Ellie's office, noticing the paintings on the walls for the first time since he had been here. I must be getting better, he thought, realizing he was coming out of himself and into the real world for the first time in a long time.

"Ellie, I'm getting ready to go back home at the end of the week, but I have one major problem I need to talk to you about before I go. You may remember my saying that last year, when I was still in school, I met this great girl who, it turns out lives very close to me back home. But, I couldn't bring myself to ask her out because she stirred up too many memories for me. She is the spitting image of my sister, Theresa, the disabled one. Every time I looked at her, all I saw was my sister. Then, of course, all the other shit happened, and I ended up leaving school." Danny fell silent. Ellie waited for him to continue.

"I ran into her over Christmas when she was home on break and then again at Easter when I got up enough nerve to call her and ask her out. Of course, I couldn't have done it without my little boost. So, right there she was making my problem worse. But, she was so worth it, or at least I thought so at the time. I ended up telling her about my family and why I went away for school. She comes from a really nice family and couldn't get behind the reason I left when my sister was in so much need. I know she didn't think very much of me right then.

"The worst part of it is she still wanted to keep in touch, and we've texted. She'll be coming home this week. In fact, she may already be home. My problem is this: she doesn't know about my addiction. She knows I've been away, but she doesn't know where or why. She said she'd like to see me when I get home and I know if I want to keep seeing her I need to fess up. I know we've talked about this before, but I just don't know where to begin, and I'm afraid I'll lose her."

Danny stopped, waiting for Ellie to say something. The room was still. She finally spoke.

"Danny, what's the one thing you want to take away from your time here? The one thing that's most important."

"Honesty," Danny replied, without a second of hesitation. "I know I have to tell her but how?"

"The same way you told your parents and sisters. Just be upfront. You're recovering now, very successfully, I might add, and you're in a good place. Addiction will always be part of your life, and if you want a relationship with this girl, she needs to know what she's facing, too. If she cares about you, she'll understand, or she won't, and you'll have your answer."

"Good point," said Danny. "I guess if it is meant to be it will happen."

"Just remember all the good things you have to offer someone, have confidence in yourself, and, above all, tell the truth. These are good life lessons for everyone, not just recovering addicts. Now go, be with your girl, and good luck. Anything else I can do for you?

"You've been a big help, Ellie. That's it. I guess I'll see you later for group. Thank you so much for always being here to listen."

"That's what I do, Danny. I'll see you later."

"By the way, I love your artwork," he said with a huge smile on his face.

Danny went back to his room and texted Kim. He told her he would be home Friday and would call her if that was okay. He was determined to talk to her as soon as he could before he lost his nerve. He began gathering some of his belongings to pack, looking around at the place he had called home for a month. He saw everything in a different light than when he first arrived. This place had become his sanctuary and savior. He prayed he would be able to function on the outside.