I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had...
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"Lena, wake up." I hear someone say. I open my eyes and saw Ben and Paige standing next to my bed.
"No, I want to sleep," I said, closing my eyes pulling the blankets over my head.
"No, we need to go. We have a therapy group in ten minutes," Paige said, pulling the blankets off me.
" Fine, I'm up," I said, standing up.
"Good, now get dressed," she said, walking out the room, leaving Ben and me alone.
" I want to say sorry for last night, that I just walk away from you." He said, looking at me with his hand in the pockets of his sweats.
"It's okay. I get it you wanted to be alone." I said, taking a tank top and some sweat pants.
"Yeah, I never told anybody that story here except Dr. Ryan." He said.
"Uhm, Ben, can you turn around so I can change," I said, holding up my clothes.
"Uhm yeah, sure." He said, turning around. I put on my tank top and sweat plus a hoodie so nobody could see my scars.
" You can look," I said to him. He turned back around and said.
"We have to go."
He walks out of the room with me following him. We walk to the social space and sit in the chairs.
"Good morning, everyone." Dr. Ryan said, sitting down.
"So who wants to go first?" She asked, looking around. She sight when nobody answered and said.
"It's okay to be afraid. But it's what hurts us that makes us stronger." I look around and saw that nobody was gone raise their hand to tell something.
"Okay, if nobody is going to say something, we're going to continue what we left yesterday." She said, writing something down on her clipboard.
An hour passed, and we were done. I look around and saw everyone was talking to someone. Excepted Piper and me, I saw her looking around. Our eyes meet for a second before Piper looked away, standing up walking out the room.
Later that night, I was walking to the restroom. I couldn't sleep, and I need it to get out of my room. I walked inside and looked in the mirror to my reflection. I saw a broken girl. Who had lost her life a couple of times and try to find it back somehow?
A tear run down my cheek when I think about the fun time I had with my family before I became this mess. I splash some water on my face and hear someone throwing up and silent crying after. I turn around and look at the stalls.
"Hello? Are you okay?" I walk to a stall and slowly push it open.
"Oh my god! Piper, what are you doing?!" I said, kneeling beside her. She was sitting on her knees crying, trying to throw up.
"No, go away, leave me alone." She said, trying to throw up more, but I stopped her by taking her hand.
"Piper, look at me. You don't need to do this. Your perfect the way you are." I said, whipping away a tear from her cheek.
She nodded, and I helped her stand up.
"Come, let's get you clean up," I said, pulling her slowly to the sink.
She splashes some water on her face and turns back around to me.
"I-I'm going to bed." She said, walking past me to the door.
"Wait, Piper," I said, causing her to turn around looking at me.
"If you need to talk to someone, you can come to me," I said. She nodded and walked out the door. I keep staring at the door when it's slowly close.
Why would she do that? I walk out the door and into the hallway. I was walking down the hall when I hear someone scream. It was a voice of a boy that came from the door next to me.
I walk to the door and listen to the voice.
"Get out my head!" Someone screamed.
" No, don't!" I lay my hand on the doorknob and slowly twisted.
I open the door and walk inside, closing the door behind. The room was dark, but I could see someone lying in bed. I walk closer to the bed and saw who was in it.
Ben.
He was sleeping, but it looks like he had a nightmare. He was tossing and turning, trying to fight something. I walked closer and stood beside his bed. I could see the sweat on his forehead. He must be scared." No, I won't hurt her." He said as his hands clench to his bedsheets. I sit down on the bed, trying to wake him up.
"Ben. Ben, wake up." I said, shaking his shoulder a bit. He shot up, breathing heavily, looking around.
"L-Lena? W-what are you doing here?" He asked, still breathing fast.
"I was walking in the hallway, and I heard you scream. Are you okay?" I asked.
"Uhm, yeah, just a bad dream, that's all." He said, closing his eyes, trying to breathe slower.
"Okay then, I have to go. Are you sure you're okay?" I said, standing up.
He opens his eyes and looked at me.
"No, I'm not." He said, laying back down.
"I can stay if you want to talk about it," I said, sitting back down.
"if you want to."He said, sitting up against the bed frame, moving a bit so I can sit next to him.
I sit next to him, and he pulls the blankets over us.
"So, do you want to tell me what your dream was about?" I asked.
He looked at me and took a deep breath like he thought what he wanted to say and whatnot.
"Uhm, I was dreaming about that night that I kill them." He said, looking away from me.
"It was like I did it all over again, but not only I could feel my pain but also theirs." He said, still not looking at me.
"It's okay, you saved your sister, and they were bad people," I said, taking his hand in mine.
He looks at our hands and then at me. I give him a small smile, and he smiles back. I know what he has been through with his family. So those nightmares are normal I have them too. We talked all night about our problems and what will happen in the future.
I had to go back to my room before anybody saw me walking out of Ben's room. It was six in the morning when I was back in my room. I crawl in bed, letting my eyes close when my head hits the pillow.
