Broken mind (Under heavy editing!)

chapter 30 (Is the pain gone go away?)

Lena's P.O.V

I stopped breathing for a few seconds looking at Erick. The words he said were repeating in my head over and over again.

My brother is dead.

He can't be, right?.

I saw him two days ago and now he should be dead. I hope that Erick is laying, that this is just a sick joke of him, but something in the pit of my stomach tells me that's true. He didn't call you the next day even that he promise you that he would.

I started to breathe again when I saw Ben walking to Erick ready to punch him. " Ben! Don't!" I yelled grabbing his arm. He turn around and looked at me.

The tears were now running down my cheek. I saw Erick laughing when he saw them too. " Just remember Lena that's all your fault. If you didn't tell him what happened he wouldn't have come to me."

That hurt.

It was like someone punch me in the stomach, but it was the reality. " I went to your parents house today with my parents and they told us that you aren't invited to his funeral or that they would even tell you that he's dead." I wanted to cry my eyes out, I wanted to scream, shout, drop down on the floor, but I didn't want to do that in front of Erick.

" C'mon guys let's go home and let them be together as long that they can." He and his friends walked of laughing their heads off. When I know that they were gone behind the corner, I broke down crying.

It's my fault again.

I can't do anything good. I, I.. I just want this to be over. Ben wrapped his arm around my trying to calm me down. " It's my fault Ben. It's my fault that he's dead." I whisper against his shoulder. He pull back and looked at me wiping the tears from my cheek.

" It's not your fault, he was trying to protect you against Erick. It was a accident." I tightly shot my eyes trying to think straight. I nodded my head lightly when he told me that we were going home.

The car ride home was silent. I was looking out the window. I didn't saw the people, the cars or the building. I'm I saw them, but it was like I look right pas them. I was just staring at things, listing to my own thoughts.

The most things we drove by passed me in a blur. This thing inside of me said that I needed to go home to my parents, but they never would let me back in. In their eyes I'm dead. So now their lost two kids in just a couple of days.

I didn't notice that we were at his house until I felt the car stop. " Lena?"  I heard him, but didn't look at him. I keep staring at outside the window. " Lena, please say something." I felt him grabbing my hands, so I would look at him which I did.

His eyes were clued to mine. After that he didn't say anything else he just hugged me. My sobs filled the car while Ben pull me closer. 

We sat there for hours not saying a word he just hugged me. I didn't remember much than me just crying and him trying to calm me down, but at the end we both fell asleep in his car.

Ben's P.O.V

The sun was about the rise when I woke up. I look around and saw that we were laying in my truck. She was halve laying on top of me while our legs were tangled together. Her eyes were still red and puffy from the crying she did last night.

It must be hard for her she lost her entire family. I know the feeling of losing someone important in your life. It sucks. It's like your whole world falls apart and you don't know how to get it back together.  

Every day you gone get remand of that that person is gone and your never gone see them again. I carefully pull her on my lap trying not to wake her up. I open the door stepping out the car with her in my arms before closing the door behind me.

The night was warm and with the sun coming up it's gone get warmer, so I walk to the hammock and sit in it. I carefully lay down with her trying to lay her in a comfortable position. Slowly I swing ourselves while I watch the sunrise.

"Ben?"

I took her hand in mine when I know that she was up.

" Yeah?" I answer.

" Is the pain gone go away?" She asked looking at the sunrise. I don't know how to answer that, but I'm not gone lie. " I'm not gone lie, it doesn't go away." I hear her sighed before I continue.

" But the pain that you feel now is gone get less by the years. It's not gone go away, it's still gone be there, but less."  I felt my shirt getting wet were her head was laying, so I knew that she was crying.

" I don't know if I can take more pain Ben. I mean look what happened the last time." She sobbed.

I rub her back trying to calm her down. " Hey everything is gone be fine you're not alone now, I promise that I won't leave you." I kiss the top of her head hearing her sighed in relief. She was silent after that and we just watch the sun ride.

Now and then I could hear her sob, every time I kiss the top of her head, so she knew that I was still there with her.