I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had...
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We stood at the front door, ready to go inside. I was nervous about meeting his family. What if they don't like me or think that I'm just using him. I felt a warm hand in mine and smiled. Ben opened the door and stepped inside, still holding me.
" Dad, Liz?! I'm home." He yelled through the house.
We heard talking in the living room. Two people came walking through the door. They were both smiling at us. " Dad, Liz, this is Lena," Ben said, introducing me. Even though I was nervous, I smiled and said, hey.
" It's so nice to meet you, Lena finely. Ben talks a lot about you." His sister said, smiling. I laughed and looked at Ben. " Liz." He whined while his cheeks turn red which made me giggle. His dad was looking at me with a worrier Look on his face.
" Are you okay Lena, that cheek looks like it hurts?" He asked. My hand went to my cheek, and I remember what happened a couple of hours ago. " Uhm, I'm fine, thank you." I said, smiling a little he nodded his head before he continues." And don't worry, Lena, you can stay here with us." I nodded and said thanks.
" Now you much be tired, go to bed." He said, looking at Ben.
We said goodnight to them before he leads me upstairs to his room. When I was in his room, I realized I hadn't brought any clothes with me, so I don't have any PJ'PJs turn around to face Ben and saw that he was looking at me with a smile.
"What?" I asked, smiling.
He shook his grabbing me by my waist. " Nothing, it's just that you look beautiful." I don't believe that because I just got beaten up by my dad, and I probably look like a mess. I smiled and looked down at our feet.
" You know, I never thought that you would be here with me in my room." I look up and saw him smiling. " Well, things have changed," I replied, smiling. Things really have to change in the past couple of months. " Ben, I don't have any clothes with me, Uhm, can I.." I trailed off, looking up at him. He smirked, letting me go.
The feelings I get when he holts me disappear when he let go of me. Even when it's just for a few seconds, the feelings are there. That's what I love about him. He gives me peace inside, and maybe that's why I was better in the mental facility because he was there with me.
At home, I was alone, and my parents didn't understand me the way he did. My brother tried, and he succeeded most of the time, but he can't save me from dad or my thoughts. " Here." He gave me one of his t-shirt that was clearly too big for me. " Thanks."
He pulls me against his body and looked me in the eye. " I'm sorry for what your parents did to you tonight. I still believe that it's my fault." I wanted to protest, but before I could do it he, put his finger on my lips or, eventing me to from talking, so he continues. " But I'm glad you're here with me, and I don't care what your parents or Erick do. Your mine, and I'm not letting you go."
He took his finger off my lips when he talked, and by now, his lips were closer to mine. Ready to replace the spot where his finger was before. Our heads leaned in, and our lips touch a second later. The moment we feel my heart began to beat faster. My hand went to his cheek while he unbuttons my shirt slowly. Before things got too heated, I pulled away with a smirk.
" We have to go to bed." I pulled away from his arms, taken off my shirt that he unbutton.
" Lena." He whined.
I just gave him a smirk making him turn around so I can put on the t-shirt. It came just above my knees, maybe a little bit higher. " You can turn around now." He turns around, looking at me before a smirk came on his face. " You look really good in my shirt." I blush a little before I sit on his bed with my legs crossed.
Ben started to get undress until he was just in his underwear. A playful smirk came on his face when he caught me looking at him. " Like what you see?" He asked, walking to me.
I didn't have to change to say anything because he presses his lips against mine, pulling away shortly after. " Because it's all yours." A smile came on my face when he pushes me down on the bed. He lay down beside me and put the cover on us before pulling my back against his chest.
" I love you." He whispers against the top of my head, kissing it afterward. A small smile came on my lips while I intertwine our fingers together. " Love you too." I could feel him smile behind me. After that, we both said nothing.
It wasn't an awkward silence, but a comfortable one. The feeling of his chest rising to breathe against my back made me feel good. Our bodies were so close that we were sharing the same air. Now and then, he would kiss the top of my head to tell me that he was still there, but after a while, that stopped, so I knew that he had fallen to sleep.
Even in his sleep, he pulled me closer. He wanted my warmth against his body. Just to be thinking that a few mounts ago, we both were depressed and hopeless. Not knowing what to do with our life. Because all we felt was pain, nothing more than pain.
It made me numb so that I couldn't feel anything else. I didn't saw any other solution than to hurt myself and, after that, to kill myself. Twice, I try to kill myself.
Both failed, but I wouldn't meet Paige, Sarah, and Ben if I didn't do it.
I wouldn't know their story or help them.
I wouldn't find good friends that are real and are there for me.
I wouldn't have found the boy I loved now. So maybe it wasn't a bad idea to kill me the first time. Perhaps it helped me to get better.
