wait for me [illumi zoldyck]

Chapter 16

(updated: March 26, 2021)

Flashback

"You should stop indulging in such nonsense," mother scolds blatantly, as I approach her.

"I don't understand," I murmur, peering up at her from where she looms in the dark corridor.

I've just returned home with father from visiting the Hano family. Father had to visit to discuss some business, and I took the privilege to see Mia. Our trip was meant to be short, but I insisted on staying longer to spend more time there. I do not understand what mother is referring to exactly. Perhaps she is angry that we took a while to get back. 

"Illumi, you do not need friends," mother goes on to explain. "You have your family. You must understand that if you were to ever make any friends you would end up betraying them or they would end up betraying you, at some point. They are a weakness." 

"So I cannot be friends with Mia?" I ask, feeling a stirring of emotions from within me which I choose not to acknowledge. A frown finds its way onto my face.

"You should not consider her a friend. You are simply partners, nothing more," mother explains. 

She crouches down beside me, caressing my cheek softly. I sigh deeply, feeling wetness on my cheeks. I did not realize that I was crying. Mother wipes away my tears, having noticed them before I did.

"Mia could be a part of the family, mother," I insist, the idea suddenly coming to me. I brush her hand away from my face.

Mother watches me, chuckling softly at my idea, as though it sounds amusing to her. "And how will you do that?" she inquires, pulling her hand away and standing back up to her full height.

"I'll make her my wife!" I decide, the idea sounding like a perfect plan. A small smile finds its way to my face, happy to have found a way around mother's predicament. "I will marry her and then I can be with her forever."

Mother sighs. "Maybe one day, I'll discuss things with your father," she hums, straightening out her dress from any wrinkles that may have been created from the brief moment she crouched to wipe my cheeks.

I turn to continue making my way down the hall, deciding that our conversation must be over.

"But if she is to become your bride, you must protect her like she is your own family. Do not forget that, Ill," mother calls out, watching me walk away. She then turns, leaving to go find father.

++

Illumi

I gaze out of the large window of the airship, from the small compartment we sit in. 

Mia is asleep beside me, laying her head upon my lap. I absentmindedly run my hand through her rampant curls. A small smile reaches my lips at the recollection of the last few days we've spent together, enveloped in each other's arms. 

For a long time, I refused to acknowledge my feelings, heeding my mother's warnings of friendships. Father, on the other hand, never minded that I kept Mia close. He even asked me once, when I was much younger, if I would be happy marrying Mia one day. However, as we grew older, father never brought up the topic again. And soon enough, she became engaged to Takeo Akagi. However, despite all of this, and despite the time we spent apart, this is for certain. I've never felt like this for another person. 

I consider what will happen now that we have chosen to be together. Riku Hano will surely abolish any alliance he has agreed upon with the Akagi family, after hearing that it was all a ploy to kill his family. And despite my own family's withering alliance to the Hano's, father will definitely be more than open to amending the neglected relationship which began waning after Marlo Hano's death. The cause of which I still do not know. 

Father has always avoided telling me the core reason for our break away from the Hano family. I was simply instructed to stay away from Mia, suddenly and forcefully. At first, I considered secretly visiting to explain my sudden disappearance. However, as soon as father caught wind of my intentions he threatened to kill her. 

Eventually, I made a deal with father. 

"If you can get Riku Hano's blessing to marry his daughter, then I will not stop you from seeing Mia."

Of course, I could not simply show up asking to marry Mia after being away for almost two years. So, I visited hoping that I could have her help me with a favor for Hisoka, knowing full well that it was something I could take care of on my own. I wanted to first mend my relationship with her before asking her hand in marriage.

But then she got engaged. 

Even after learning about her betrothal, I could not bring myself to leave her side once more. So, I selfishly brought her along with me to help Hisoka. I selfishly disguised myself as him to be able to hold her one last time, before she could never be mine. 

I glance down at the sleeping woman beside me. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, I am a hypocrite. I've always Kill that he could not have any friends, but here I am. 

But, this is different. We are in love. My smile does not fade.

Mia begins to stir in her sleep, eyes fluttering open. I gaze down at her green eyes, which stare back into mine softly. 

"Good morning," her voice is soft, sleepy. "How long was I asleep for?"

"Not long."

She sits up suddenly, bringing a hand up to her forehead. My smile falters. "What's wrong? Are you hurting?"

My eyes rove over her body. Is she injured? How could I not have seen it?

"I'm okay, it's just a headache," Mia murmurs, smiling softly at me. But the smile does not reach her eyes. I can tell that she is not being completely truthful with me, but don't press her any further. The urgency to find her brother deepens, and I am grateful that we are almost at Sibitzu island. We will not have to wait much longer.

"How much longer until we get there?" Mia asks, turning around to face me, rubbing her forehead with the back of her hand. I watch her carefully, reaching out a hand to hold her arm securely.

"Not that much longer," I reply absentmindedly, focusing on her face. She is hiding how much pain she is in, but I can see through her acting. I've known her for far too long. 

Reaching out my hands, I gently grip her waist, pulling her close to me. She comes to stand between my long legs, placing her hands on my shoulders. Our height eye-to-eye, from where I sit. All I wanted, at this moment, is to be with her and nothing more.

Mia smiles warmly, running her hands through my long hair. I close my eyes and lean my forehead against her chest, relishing the moment and feeling her heartbeat against her chest.

"Are you okay?" She chuckles, looking down at my hunched figure that grips her body closely. I nod my head, not replying. I can't help but notice how small she is. 

"You're so warm" I murmur, after a while. 

Mia rests her chin against the top of my head, humming softly. My grip tightens slightly, not wanting to let go of her.

"Illumi," she calls out softly, rubbing my back.

"Hm?" 

"What if I don't make it?" she asks.

I shut my eyes, breathing in sharply. 

"I won't let that happen," I reply.

++

Flashback

"What do you mean, mother? Mia would never betray me," I frown.

"Maybe, maybe not but then again friends always end up leaving you at one point."

++

What do you guys think about:

- Kikyo's advice to Illumi?

- Illumi's deal with Silva?

- The fast-acting side effect of Takeo's nen?

Don't forget to comment and vote ✔️