Why did god take you away from me. Justin Bieber & Kendall Jenner

56.

Brittany's Pov~~*

I never even got any sleep last night, I lay there for like hours and hours, for a comfort I plugged my head phones and listened to Taylor Swift all fucking night, yes everything has to result to that girl okay, it's a comfort and it kinda helps, well sort of, remember laying there listening to You're Not Sorry and Should've Said No and think oh my god this so relates to what I'm going through, yeah I need help, I'm such an emontional  girl. I didn't get up till like one in the afternoon, it's Saturday and I would usually be up by now, I would be cuddling into Justin's arms right now if none of this even happened, the weird thing is I never even said to Justin that we were over holy shit I didn't even think there, well we are over in my head okay and we are not getting back together this time, the many times that we have broken up and I have Said to him that's it, that's it over forever but see this time, this time I seriously mean it, he can go and find some other girl to mess with, he played with my head and my heart and I just didn't even think he was like that honestly truthfully I Didn't, suppose it doesn't make him a bad person but it makes him a stupid, asshole of a person, sorry not sorry

I picked my phone up and couldn't believe it, I had like 50 god dam messages from Justin saying he is sorry and That he loves me and shit, a few voicemails of him and 65 missed calls he's unbelievable, I quickly deleted all the messages he sent me, the voicemails that I don't even want to listen to because his voice will just make my heart bleed from him more, and I dodged all the missed calls, deleting them to, and hopefully that will be the last I hear of it.

I haven't even physically moved from this room since I woke up at one, I've had a shower, washed my greasy hair, brushed my fecking teeth, got changed into some clothes and put make up on to hide my hideous bags and red eyes. See when you fall in love with someone, you never imagine it ending, you don't even have that thought in your head, you think it's gonna last forever and forever but then life kicks in and punches you in the face and makes you realise that, that isn't exactly true, Justin was my first love okay, I've heard the first love is the hardest to get over, but you have to kiss many frogs till you meet your prince sounds cheesy as heck I know but it's true, won't be looking for anyone else at this stage because now after I seen that yesterday I now have trust issues, and having issues like that is not good, god I am so fucked up right now, but I just can't believe he told me he loved me, and he made me believe every word he was saying, wow I was dumb as fuck, well now I know, and this has made me a wiser person, I now know what to watch, I now know to be careful. But ever since I became friends with Justin before we were even together, I knew Lindsay had a sort of thing for him, of course at the time I couldn't care less if she got together with him, but when I started to like him more than a friend then I had to make sure she didn't get him, I had to make sure that it was me, and when I finally got together with Justin she just wouldn't stop, contacting him on Facebook, well she finally got what she wanted didn't she, she won, she got Justin and she is welcome to him, even though it hurts that he physically could be holding another girl in those muscular, warm strong arms of his, thinking about them the way he held me makes me want to cry buckets and buckets more it makes me die inside a little, god I can't do this no more, was everything a lie then, out friendship before we were even together, did he just help me out of my dark place to get some sort of attention from it, did he just ask me to be his girlfriend to try and use me for sex, did he just tell me he loved me so I could believe it, and then that way he could get me into bed, god I don't even fucking know anymore seriously I don't my mind is really a mind fuck right now.

I haven't had anything to eat, can't eat at a time like this, my stomach Is rumbling and I feel sort of queasy to tired to move from this spot on the floor, I heard a light knock on the door and in walked Ashley with a plate piled with pancakes

"You gonna eat something babe, come on you must be starving".

"Not hungry Ash, not hungry just the mere thought of eating any food makes me feel all sick".