Why did god take you away from me. Justin Bieber & Kendall Jenner

124.

JUSTIN'S POV

I held her small body in my arms as she slowly drifted off to sleep her chest rising and falling each time. We got here safely, I thought he would have came for his right away but I'm surprised he didn't. But now we are somewhere he can't even find us and that's the way I want to keep it for a while. I don't know how long we'll be here just till everything blows over. I can't let him take her again, because now can I be sure that I won't see her again after he takes her I found her out of luck and got her out of luck those things don't usually happen. Especially when she tells you that he was going to take her all the way to England to live and I would never have knew that, but she is here now in my arms and that is all that it counts. She's so precious and means the world to me, I blame myself for not protecting her enough. And as for saying I was going to break up with her I was being stupid and thinking out loud, of course I'm not going to break up with her what kind of person would I be if I did that. My mom was right again like she always is, I have to be there for Brittany if I were to break up with then that would make her worse and I wouldn't know what she would do, it's best I just don't think of it anymore.

I caressed her arms and shoulders as she slept turning over occasionally, she's adorable. I looked down at her in awe sleeping on my lap with the sheets covering her right up to her waist. I feel like a really bad boyfriend at the moment I feel like a jerk, an asshole, she's way to good for me she always has been and I always have known she deserves better than me, but I couldn't let her go even if I tried it's impossible. Tears started falling from my eyes, hitting the pillow, removing Brittany from my lap letting her head fall onto the pillow, i removed myself from the bed and the bedroom and sauntered off downstairs to the cabin kitchen where I just let everything all out. I don't like to cry in front of her I have many of times but it only makes me think is she judging me, I just love her so much and I just feel like the worst person in the world right now. Why can't everything just go right eh? Not once have things went right, when things do go right somehow, someway there is always something that ruins.

I grabbed one of the knifes from the knife holder sitting at the side on the kitchen counter. I held it tightly in my hands as it began to cut deeply into the palm of my hand, feeling the blood trickle up my arm I bit my lip in pain, somehow I deserved this, I was putting so much pressure on the knife that I really wasn't aware of how bad I was cutting myself.

"Justin what are you doing up at this hour come back to bed please". I jumped out of my skin at the sweet angel behind me. I really didn't even hear her coming, and now there's me standing here with a cut hand. I dropped the knife into the sink the cut wasn't just a scratch okay

"Go back to bed baby I'll be up in a few minutes". I was trying to make it sound like I was completely fine, a mean the pain was evident in my voice, I sounded like I was struggling and she's going to suspect something maybe I was time ticking bomb ready to explode

"Justin are you okay? What's wrong".

"Nothing, nothing just couldn't sleep so came down here to have time to think don't worry about me really".

"But I can't help not to Justin, why do you sound like your in pain".

"I'm not in pain baby".

"What have you been doing? Justin turn around so I can look at you". I could feel her presence behind me, she's going to see your hand anyway. Her arms snaked around my torso, her head against my back her body so close.

"I love you Justin remember that... Hey baby let me see your hand".

"I don't think you want to".

"Justin let me see your hand now". She rolled back my sleeve I managed to cover it with it but now it's soaked in blood, she gasped once she saw, her hand coming up to her mouth
"J-Justin w-what h-happened".