YouTube ♪♪ Harry Styles

Chapter 23

"5, 6, 7, 8." Paul called out to the boys and I in rehearsal. We all attempted to dance the moves he had just taught us, but we all ended up failing miserably. The boys belted out in laughter as I just shyly smiled at them. Luckily, no one has noticed my lack of emotion along the past couple days. But on the other hand, all I wanted was for someone to see through that fake smile I managed to plaster on my face every day, and tell me everything's going to be alright. But no one has and I fear that no one ever will.

I pulled at the long sleeves, making sure nothing was exposed as we all took a mini break. I sat cross legged on the floor, sipping from the water bottle placed in my hand, as the boys goofed off a few feet away from me. Admiring them from afar, a sly smile played on my lips watching how genuinely happy they were together. They were all so comfortable and carefree around each other. It was astonishing how strong of a bond they have, and I only wish I had something like that.

To say I miss Ariana would be a huge understatement. And although I was aware that I could've handled our situation better, I was still right. And the fact that she hasn't even attempted to patch thing up only proves my statement to be true. And seeing her pretty much almost every other day, doesn't help our issue at all. The silence and eye contact that we shared every time she came over for Zayn was so unbelievably awkward. She'd give me a small grin, which I never returned, before continuing on up the stairs.

"Can I talk to you?" A soft voice spoke up above me. I looked up to notice it was Zayn, I gave him a small smile, standing up from my spot on the floor. He guided me over to a more secluded area before sighing. I figured it be something about Ariana, but the words that flowed from his mouth shocked me. "I saw them." His fingers gestured down to my hand that was covering my wrist.

I stayed silent. I had no idea what to say. All this time I thought no one noticed. I was under the impression that everyone was too wrapped up with what they were doing that they'd never notice the harm I was doing to myself.

"Why, Tatum?" His features turned soft and I could tell he genuinely cared.

I shrugged my shoulders, I felt a warm tear slide down my face and my throat was beginning to knot up.

"You can talk to me, please..." His arms reached out, pulling me into a tight hug. The tears flowed freely at this point; I couldn't contain them any longer, no matter how hard I tried. His hands ran smoothly up and down my back in attempt to soothe me.

"Everything's been so hectic lately. With the tour right around the corner, rehearsals every other day, losing my best friend, my mother showing up out of fucking nowhere, and the hate I'm constantly getting from your guys fans...it's just so hard to balance everything out." I finally managed to mumble into his chest. I felt his head nod in understanding as he rested it against my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry you have to go through all that. The boys and I will try to control our fans. I will have Ariana come over later tonight and you guys can talk things out. And hopefully that'll ease up the stress that's been placed upon you. But please, you have to promise me you'll stop. For the boys, for me, for Harry. We don't want to lose you over this. Can you do that?" He questioned me.

"Yes," I muttered softly before thanking him. "Wait, did you tell Harry?"

He shook his head, "No, because you're going to."

My eyes widen and I shook my head, "Zayn, no. I can't, that would destroy him." I pried myself out of his embrace.

"Would you rather him find out by accident? Knowing he couldn't help you would hurt him even more, so you need to tell him." And with that, he strolled back over to the boys. I ponder everything Zayn was saying, and he was right. If I didn't tell Harry and he just so happen to come across them, he'd be devastated because he didn't have a clue just how unhappy I was.