YouTube ♪♪ Harry Styles

Chapter 32

Tatum's POV.

Watching him leave had to be the hardest thing I've ever had to witness. Just something about the way his shoulders slumped and his head hang low, caused a nerve in me to be struck. I couldn't control the tears that flowed mindlessly down my face.

Hearing him tell me he loves me for the last time ever only caused my heart to shatter into a million little pieces, when I once thought it would bring me some sort of reassurance. I didn't want this to be the end of us, but it was too late; he was probably already on his way back to the airport.

My face was still buried in my hands, the tears rapidly seeping through the holes between my fingers. I could feel the headache that was beginning to form but even that didn't stop my crying.

I heard shuffling outside my room, followed by shouting. My eye brows knitted together as I threw the blankets off me and slowly made my way to the door. I opened it and my hand instantly clasped over my mouth when I took in the sight before me. Harry lay sprawled out on the floor and nurses rushed to lift him onto a gurney.

"What happened?" I shouted to no one in particular. I just need someone to give me answers.

"Ma'am, you should be laying down." One of the nurses instructed me, guiding me back to my bed. I shook my head, pushing her away from me. I ran as fast as my legs would allow me, back over to Harry, who was now laying on the platform.

"Harry," I called out to him, but he couldn't hear me. His motionless body lay on the gurney, his eyes glued shut as if he was in deep thought. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I was quickly drawled back by a pair of arms. "No, no please!" I pleaded for the nurse to let go of me. I needed to make sure he was okay, and the longer I was wrapped up in her grasp, the longer I wasn't at Harry's assistance.

I gasp as a needle was plunged into my arm and darkness quickly overcame me.

The piercing scream that escaped my mouth once I awake from my slumber, not only startled myself but the person laying in the bed across the room.

Wait, person across the room?

My body quickly shot up from it's descended position, and although it was rather dark, I'd recognize those curls anywhere. I stumbled over to his bed and took in all his features. His plump cherry lips were inches away from mine, and they were calling my name. But as much as I wanted to kiss them, I knew that I couldn't. That would be just another string of confusion spiraling about in my head. So I just stood there, motionless; waiting for his eyelids to flutter open.

But after moments of silence, I shook on his arm. "Harry," I whispered, I really needed to uncover why he was currently laying in a hospital bed. Minutes later, his eyes opened and it took him a second to register just who I was. 

"Tatum," His raspy voice come out groggy as he sat up. 

"What happened?" My hands found their way around my arms, desperately trying to warm myself up. 

"Here," He took the blanket that was laying on him and wrapped it around my shoulders. I thanked him before repeating my question. Harry shrugged his shoulders as his fingers ran through his hair. I nodded my head slowly in confusion.

What does he mean he doesn't know? 

I was about to speak when the door swung open and a nurse walked in, "Great, you're up!" She brushed past me and attended to Harry's need. I sighed at the fact our conversation was cut short, but I slipped off the blanket and handed it back over to him. Once I was back in the comfort of my own bed, I flipped on the television and tried to drown out the conversation happening across the room.  But one particular word that the nurse spoke stood out to me, concussion. 

What the fuck happened? 

"I'm going to grab some fresh gauze and some antiseptic to prevent infection in that hand of yours. I'll be right back, don't move." She laughed at her terrible attempt of a joke before dismissing herself from our room. 

"What'd you do to your hand?" I muttered.

He stared at his hand in bewilderment before looking up to meet my gaze, "I punched a mirror?" The words came out in more of a question form, as if he was trying to remember exactly what happened. "Yeah, I punched a mirror," He nodded his head once the words made sense to him. 

"Oh," I mumbled. I couldn't believe he was suffering from a concussion, but the fact that some things just aren't registering with him is scaring me even more. "Harry, do you remember who you are? Like your profession?" I could see his finger tracing the outline of his lips before his casually shook his head. My eyes rolled to the back of my head with the simple gesture he gave. Harry can't lose his memory, he has millions of fans that he just can't disappoint. He can't forget, I won't allow him to. 

I bowed my head in shame. I knew for a fact all of this was my fault. If I hadn't walked away from him that night, we'd still very much be together and he wouldn't have had a reason to fly back home. If I hadn't took that shard of glass and cut my own god damn wrist, he wouldn't have felt the need to come to fucking hospital. And I was still confused on how the hell he even ended up with a fucking concussion. This was all my fault, and I can't change any of it. 

"Harry, I..."

"Nah, I'm just fucking with you." He chuckled, smirking to the point his dimples appeared.

"Oh fuck you, Harry!" I took one of the pillows from behind me and slung it at him. "You are seriously a dick." I hurled another pillow in his direction. He laughed as he dodged both of them. 

We sat in silence for a good 10 minutes before he looked up and eyed me, "Even if I did forget, why would you have even cared? You were the one that told me that you didn't want to be with me anymore." 

I stared at him in disbelief, "I didn't really have a choice, Harry."  

He shook his head at me, "Yes you did, Tatum. You had two choices, to tell me you didn't want me anymore or to take me back, and you choose the easy way out. You told me that you were tired of being the only one fighting, remember that?" He paused, awaiting my answer. I nodded my head. "You're not a fighter, you're a quitter. Because if you loved me at least the tiniest bit like you claim you do, you wouldn't constantly quit on us. You haven't fought for us, if anything it's been me all along. I'm always the one that runs after you. And guess what? I'm tired of running." 

"What do you mean by that, Harry?" I feared the answer I was about to receive. 

"It's now or never, either you want me or you don't. Take your pick." I was scared at the sudden mood change. Just earlier he was joking around and laughing, but now he couldn't be anymore serious. 

"Harry, I can't..." 

"Tatum, do you love me or not?" He stood up from his bed and made his way over to me. I sat up, bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. He held out his hand and I shook my head, but he stayed persistent. After awhile, I finally took his hand and he pulled me up from the bed. "Do you love me or not?" He repeated his question. 

"Yes, of course I do." I muttered, fumbling around with my hospital wristband.

"So, what's stopping you from being with me?" He whispered, bending down to be face to face. His minty breathe fanned my face and I shivered. Only I knew the real reason why I couldn't be with Harry, others had assumptions but I'm sure they were all wrong. "Tatum, what's stopping you?" Harry cupped my chin and lifted my head up.

I felt a tear fall down my face as I sniffled,

"Myself."

A/N: I'm sorry that this chapter wasn't all that exicting! But the end is near, and if you haven't already go save my new book, The List, to your library. It'll take off as soon as YouTube is complete. 

Thank you all for reading, it means the world! Don't forget to vote/comment! (: