My Favorite Psychopath // Joker x Reader One Shots

#48 dead to me

Requested by XCrybabyHarleyX
Warnings: violence, light smut.

My condolences, I'll shed a tear with your family.

"Oh dear lord, not again" The Joker growled as the opening of the song woke him up. He buried his head under the pillow. If this was what he'll have to hear for the rest of his life, he'd rather have Batsy take him to Arkham.

I'll open a bottle up, pour a little bit out in your memory.

He then heard y/n's giggle. She loved to tease him with her favorite song. J rolled his eyes.

I'll be at the wake, dressed in all black.
I'll call out your name, but you won't call back

"Wake up wake up" Y/n said in a sing song  voice as she got on top of the Clown Prince, showered him with kisses. J sighed, and got up. He loved how she kissed him, he just couldn't stand the song y/n had been playing all day, every day. He was the Joker, a song like this just wasn't for him. Okay, its lyrics may impressed him, but its tone and melodies were just so girly.

I'll hand a flower to your mother when I say goodbye 'cause, baby, you're dead to me.

J got in the shower, the song carried from the bedroom into the bathroom.

I need to kill you, that's the only way to get you out of my head.

"Ugh! My favorite part" The Joker closed his eyes as the water ran down his muscular body. Wait, what was I thinking? No, no, I hate the song. J shook his head, annoyed.

Oh, I need to kill you to silence all the sweet little things you've said.

He got out of the shower, playfully slapped his girlfriend on her butt, before pulled her into a passionate kiss. Melanie Martinez's song playing in the background.

I really wanna kill you.

The Joker was getting ready to start the day. As usual, pulled his purple alligator coat on. Looking at the schedule on his phone: ugh today was Max's turn, the rat who dared scam him. He already got Frost tied to dude up. His victim was waiting for him in the basement.

Wipe you off the face of my earth, and bury your bracelet, bury your bracelet six feet under the dirt.

"You wanna come watch daddy's playtime with his toy today" J asked "Of cause, daddy" Y/n giggled, delighted she was invited. She always loved watching daddy played with his toys.

Rainy days, and black umbrellas.
Who's gonna save you now?
Can you cheat from underground?

The two of them walked hand in hand down the basement. That was the first thing they were gonna do. Screw breakfast, the clown was too excited to play with his toy. And y/n was too excited to watch her clown lover having the time of his life. He was at his happiest when he made blood shed, bones cracked, life drained out of his toy's eyes. That was the time of the Joker's life. God, y/n could watch him forever.

My condolences, I'll shed a tear with your family.

They walked pass the henchmen that guarded every corner.

I'll open a bottle up, pulled a bit out in your memory.

The song carried through the whole penthouse. Y/n was sure every henchman could remember the lyrics by heart at this point.

I'll be in a wake, dressed in all black.
I'll call out your name, but you won't call back

The song carried to the basement. Joker opened the door, revealing a horrified looking man tied up to the chair.

I'll hand a flower to your mother when I say goodbye 'cause, baby, you're dead to me.

Y/n watched as her full time daddy made his way to the table in front of his victim. On the table, lay variety of his toys. He picked up a knife with jester symbol engraved on its handle. Oh, this one, y/n knew this was one of his favorite.

I'll mourn you when you go.
Baby, you're dead to me.
I'll mourn you when you go.

With no warning, the psychotic clown buried the knife deep in his thigh. The poor man cried out in pain.

I need to say sorry. That's the only thing you say when you lose someone.

"Daddy, can you tell him to keep it down? You know, I'd really appreciate if I can just listen to my favorite song. His scream is just annoying" Y/n said.
"You hear that, you little brat? My girl didn't like it when someone interrupting her song" The Joker said with sinister voice. He then walked back to the table, he picked up a bat. This was one of his favorite toys too.

I used to say I'm sorry for all of the stupid shit you've done.

Joker smacked the bat at his head. It cut his skin open. Crimson blood gushing out of it, running down his head, to his shirt, to the chair, and down to the floor. The Joker's swung was pretty deep, but not deep enough to kill him. Oh, no, he wasn't going to make it just one. That was too quick. The Joker needed his time to savor the feelings.

So now I'm really sorry, sorry for being the apologetic one.

The lyrics left the Joker's mouth unconsciously. After hearing it for the hundredth time, he sure knew every single line of the song.

But if I told you I care, if I told you I care, you would think I was crazy.

He hummed the song as he continued to hit the man at his head. His body convulsed a few times, before he stopped moving. The Joker doesn't know, but it made y/n very pleased hearing him sing her favorite song. His voice was beautiful.

My condolences, I'll shad a tear with your family.

The Joker was panting hard, looking at his work. He seemed proud at what he did. The man's eye popped out. Another job done well.

I'll open the bottle up, pour a little bit out in your memory.

Y/n walked up to her clown lover, she wrapped her arms around him from behind, kissing his back. "You got a beautiful voice, baby" Y/n whispered in his ear.

I'll be at the wake, dressed in all black.
I'll call out your name, but you won't call back

"Sooo... you like the song?" Y/n snickered. "Nah, what are you talking about, pumpkin?" He kissed her, so she'd shut up, of course there was no way we will going to admit.

I'll hand a flower to your mother when I say goodbye 'cause, baby, you're dead to me.

The kiss quickly got heated up. Now, it was all tongues. Hers fighting for dominance over his, which of cause, lost in a matter of seconds.

I'll mourn you when you go.
Baby, you're dead to me.
I'll mourn you when you go

Their clothes quickly found its way on the floor. It landed right beside Max's dead body.

'Cause, baby, you're dead to me.

The song soon faded, and the room was replaced by the sound of y/n's moaning, and Joker's groaning.