Thank you for your Love..

Chapter Nine

"Do you still love me?"

The room was filled with silence. I asked him the question that i was still asking myself.

Do i still love him?

"Tiff, i love you like your my world. I love you but that's it. I know you have your life now. You have your boyfriend and i'm not going to crash your relationship. If seeing you happy with him, it makes me happy too." He stopped fixing his clothes and sat beside me. This is the question that i always i ask myself. Do i still love him?

"What if i don't have Michael, would you still go back to me?" I touched his face to get his attention. I looked straight into his eyes.

"I never leave you Tiff. I might not be here but i left my heart and my soul here with you." He smiled weakly and removed my hands on his face.

"I came back here for work and.. you. But i know i can't have you Tiff. I can fight for you but i know you love him and his with you now. I'm not the type of person that's stealing someone's girlfriend. You know me." His looking towards the picture frame, smiling. I grabbed his hand and entwined it with my hand. It's still fit to each other. Why didn't i feel this with Michael? Why? I really want to know why.

"Life has been.. Hmmm.. Let's say, so evil to me. Since you left, i rejected many boys that wanted to court me. I was still longing for you for the past four years. Four years.. I was really a trash. Mom always tell me that you'll be back, just to make me feel alright." I sighed. I looked at our hands, still entwined. Hoping that it will not end and we'll just stay like this.

"I let Michael to court me. His the first one that i didn't reject. All through out his courtship, i was still in love with you. When i became his girlfriend, i told to myself that i need to force myself, to move on." Tears forming in my eyes. I wasn't expecting that this day will come. Him, sitting beside me again.

"I forced myself to do it. We hug each other but that's it. Can you believe that i still didn't kiss him on the lips. We still didn't have sex. And even sleeping with him, i didn't do it." I said between my tears. He run his thumb on my cheeks to wiped away my tears. He move closer to me and put my head on his shoulder.

"I'm scared Hayden. Michael and i was together for a year and i'm still looking for you. I'm still looking for the one that will enter my room without my permission because you got my parent's permission. The one that climbed in my bed and jump onto it just to wake me up. The one that's always whispering his good morning to me and that's making me shiver. Little actions Hayden and i'm still looking for that." I continued to cry. This was the real me. I don't know but when it comes to Hayden i can cry my everything in front of him.

"Michael do sweet things. He even proclaim his love for me in front of many people." I smiled between my sob.

"But you know the feeling of being safe and home huh?.. This. Sitting here beside you and so close to you." I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked into him.

"I never felt this with Michael. I love him but.." I slowly turn his head to look at me. I've seen him crying before but tonight his really crying hard.

"But i love you more than i love him. Through out the years, it's still you. But i can't just leave him and say to him that 'i'm not in love with you, i'm sorry i have to leave you'. I won't do that. He became my rock and he gives me happiness, all those times that your not here." I wiped his tears then hugged him. I felt so safe. Wrapping my arms around him, i miss this. I miss us. I have Michael now, i should be happy.

"I know. It's my fault Tiff. Like i said a while ago i will not steal you from him. His your boyfriend and i was just an ex boyfriend. I swear, i will not destroy your relationship. I want you to be happy and if his making you happy then it's okay for me. If i will see you settle down with him, that's the time i will have to find a girl that can give me happiness. Just happiness, i don't mind if she can't give me the love that you once gave me. I just want to be happy." He slowly released himself from the hug. He gave me a small smile and go back in organizing his things.

Hayden's matured now and i'm proud of that. His not thinking for himself but his thinking for the others too.

"Can you kiss me? Just a kiss?" He looked at me shock with what i said. I reached for his hand and pulled him closer to me.

"Just a kiss, nothing more." I cupped his cheeks. His tensed and shaking but i want him to feel comfortable. He sighed and slowly moving closer to my face.

"Your boyfriend might get mad." I shook my head. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He softly put his lips into mine. This! This is what i'm looking for. This man really know me. He released himself from the kiss but i pulled him more. I kiss him deeply and passionately. His not returning the kiss at first but later on i can feel that we're moving in sync and his returning the kiss.

"Tiff. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Sorry." He slowly loosen himself from my hold and looked at me with apologetic eyes. He changed a lot. I'm not his girlfriend that's why his saying sorry for kissing me. Good!

"It's my fault. I want that and i can't resist you." I smiled. I go back in organizing his things. I put everything piled and organized. He just need to put these in his closet.

"I'm going now. Just put those in your closet." I smiled and stood up from the couch.

"Thank you Tiff. It's really a big help. You know i can't even fold my clothes." He softly laughed. We walked towards his front door.

"You sleep well. Night." He kissed my forehead and slightly hugged me. He really respect me, i swear.

"Night too. Call me if you need anything." I kissed his cheeks. The feeling that i have to go back to my unit but i really can't leave this man. We looked at each other for a matter of seconds then laughed.

"Go back to your unit Babe. I might put you to my bed, if you didn't get out." He opened his door, laughing. I love how he called me 'babe'. It's like before when we're together.

"I'm waiting for that, that's why i'm still here." I teased. He looked shock with what i said. I tucked my tongue out and softly laughed. I walked out of his room and started to make my way to my unit.

"It was nice seeing you again Hayden." I winked and gave him a flying kiss. I can hear him laugh as i enter on my unit. I rushed towards my bedroom and launched myself on my bed.

His here, really here. I'm so happy now. I was on the cloud nine as i kiss his lips again. I miss him. Really miss him. I have Michael now and i can't just left him. How can i handle this situation?