haunted (S.M)

eighteen

I watch as the clock ticks. Slowly, but surely, it does. Everything seems to be going in slow motion, nothing feeling quite real as Simon's hand rests on my waist and his body cuddles in to mine. I look in to the dark, seeking something-but I'm not quite sure what. I feel like I'm missing something, like I'm forgetting something I should definitely know. I wish I knew what it was.

Simon:

"What's up with Addie today?" Harry asks, as we sit at our lunch table.

"How do you mean?" I question back, taking a bite out of my sandwich.

"I dunno-she just seemed off earlier, probably just me." He shrugs.

I consider his evaluation and backtrack over our interactions throughout the day. I stayed over at her dorm, she woke up before me and I ended up having to leave for my first lesson, I haven't seen her all day.

"I haven't seen her." I realise.

"Uh-she isn't a dog, Simon, she doesn't need to be fed and given water every few hours." Harry laughs at his own joke.

"No-it's, today is something, she told me and fuck-what the fuck was it?" I groan, putting my head in my hands. 

"Mate, it's just a Monday, no big deal." He says through a mouthful of pizza.

"I'm gonna go find her, see you later." I stand up and begin to walk away.

I jog up the stairs two at a time, attempting to find my ever-evasive girlfriend. I turn the corner and find myself staring at her. She sits against the row of lockers which house her own, the corridor is eerily empty apart from her presence. She sits staring forward, her eyes focused on the wall opposite. She looks tired. I walk towards her, steadily.

"Addie?" I greet her, as more of a question.

She doesn't reply.

"Hey, it's just me, talk to me." I kneel in front of her, her eyes still not meeting mine.

She still ignores me.

"I can't keep doing this Addie, I can't keep trying to make you okay if you don't tell me what's bothering you, you need to talk to me." I sigh, standing up and pacing back and forth in front of her in anger and exhaustion.

"Then don't." She whispers, her voice waking me up inside.

"What?" I look towards her.

"Don't do it." She shrugs, looking to her feet.

"You're kidding, right? I would do anything for you Addie, any-fucking-thing, I'm not here for fun, I didn't empty my own heart to fill it with you for the fun of my health, I will always do anything for you, just tell me." I groan, slamming my fist off of the locker above her.

"You like to talk about stuff." She observes.

"Yeah." I sigh, sitting beside her.

"I don't." She mumbles.

"I know." I nod, taking her hand in mine.

"I don't want to talk about it, I didn't ask you to come find me and sometimes I just don't want you to know every thought that is going through my head and every feeling I'm feeling because that's personal to me, you need to get that, Si." Her words seem to linger longer than usual.

"I'm sorry." I mumble back, gently kissing her forehead.

"I think I want to be alone right now." She whispers.