Teardrops

Chapter 15: Wide Awake (Cloud 9)

Chapter 15

Shelly's Point of View

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How the heck is this girl still alive?

She's a freaking miracle.

"I'm right here," I told Lexi, unsure of what to do.

Suddenly, I thought to check for something. Slowly, I moved my hand to her wrist.

"You didn't." I say, knowing she did. Her sobs grew worse and I hugged her tighter.

"No, no, no, Lexi. Lexi, not like that, I'm not leaving shhh, it's going to be okay, you're going to be okay." I was babbling and I knew it. But somehow it was working, and Lexi grew still in my arms as her crying slowed.

In a daze, I pulled Lexi up to the bed, pushing upward with my good leg. She fell asleep soon after, oblivious to the world.

I found a way to walk without hurting myself, and walked unsteadily to the window and threw open the blinds. Moonlight spilled into the room, like liquid silver into a moulding.

I found the latch, clumsily and used most of the remaining strength in my arms to get the window open.

There was no screen, I wouldn't even have to punch it out in order to fall...

I looked down at the garden below me.

I'd fall, broken, among the other perfect, trapped things of the world. I'd show them they couldn't control me.

I, Shelly, was my own person.

And I would do the unexpected.

Sadly, that meant no suicide....

At least not this way.

I looked back at the bed. Lexi had taught me how powerful a motivator love is. And I couldn't leave Lexi now.

"Not even if I really wanted to." I whispered to a moth that fluttered in and out of the room, past my face.

Free.

I pushed myself away from the window with renewed resolve. Using the wheelchair as a walker, I snuck out of the room and let the door click loudly behind me.

CLICK!!

"Shhhh!" I admonish the handle, before turning to face the empty hallway.

Deep breaths, are you ready? In through your nose, out through your mouth.

I started to jog. It hurt, especially my ankle, and I knew I probably shouldn't be running, but I needed it. After a few seconds, I began to sprint.

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I pushed myself until I could no longer ignore the tightness in my chest and my lungs were burning for air. I walked slowly towards the room, completing the circuit around the 9th floor.

Once inside the room, I collapsed into a cushiony chair by the window. More clouds had come rolling in, and the moon was a mere glow in the sky, barely visible through all of the clouds.

"I'm the fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon..." I whisper-sung, remembering the song. (Look it up, people!!)

"Heyyyyy moon, buddy ole' pal." My sarcastic whisper fell harshly on my own ears.

"Hi," I whispered again, quietly.

The wind rustled the trees in a near-silent reply. I started to sing, softly.