Teardrops

Chapter 22: Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?

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Chapter 22

Shelly's Point Of View

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...Right?

I turned back over in the too-warm sheets, facing away from the door and trying not to clutch my chest.

"If I chased you away, would you stay?" I whispered with my eyes shut tight.

"Everybody has a dark side, do you love me, can you love mine? Nobody is picture perfect, but we're worth it, you know that we're worth it, can you love me? ...even with my dark side?" I sang the first song that came into my mind, Dark Side, by Kelly Clarkson.

My dark side was just plain evil and I couldn't let them see. But I just did let him see.

"Don't let them in, don't let them see, be the good girl you always have to be! Conceal don't feel, don't let them know...well now he's gone!"

So what if I'm obsessed with Frozen? That song is the story of my life.

Conceal.

Don't feel.

Don't let it show.

...Let it go?

"Don't you see?? I CAN'T!!!!" (Yes, also from Frozen. Deal with it, people!)

"Shelly?" a soft voice behind me startled me and I spun around.

"Where's Donny?" Lexi asked, seeming to be taking note of the tears on my face after I had spun around in shock at her sudden appearance.

"I don't know..." I answered honestly as a new wave of guilt crashed over me like a giant hand, crushing me so that I was forced to gasp for air.

I swear, emotions affect me way too much.

"Shelly, what did you do?" No, please. Please don't ask me that.

"Shelly. Look at me, and tell me everything." She could tell I was still struggling, I suppose, because she added the word that made my resolve crumble.

"Shelly, please."

The word echoed around my head, seeming to continually bounce around in the hollowness I felt inside me.

Please... please... please... please... please... please... please...

"I... I was a jerk." I admitted, trying to calm the racing of my heart as I remembered his reaction.

"What, why?"

"So he would leave."

"What? But- ...oh. Oh, Shelly, you're not going to hurt us."

Ouch. So they don't care if I'm dying then. It won't hurt them-

"Shelly. Stop. I know what you're thinking, and that's not what I meant at all so just stop and listen okay?" She sat on my bed, flustered and struggling to find her words.

"Of course we care. I love you. It's crazy that I do, but it's true. I love you. Shelly, look at me. Please believe me. I love you, and nothing you do is going to hurt me. I will worry, I will hurt when you hurt and I'll probably cry for you even when you won't, but you can't stop that and it's not your fault. Me loving you is my choice, if anyone's, and chasing me away won't change that. I'm sure Donny feels the same way."