Teardrops

Chapter 31: For Narnia

Chapter 31

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@0----Shelly----0@

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She let go of me as soon as it was certain that I was going down with her. I tried not to bump into her as I crashed into the water, I didn't want to hurt her, for any reason. The water enclosed me completely and bubbles exploded around us in an enormous torrential upwards flow. Finally, after kicking straight down, hard, my head broke the surface and I was trying to tread water and avoid being swept downstream.

Neither effort was going very well for me. The shock of the water made my body lethargic and I began the violent process of choking on water, Until I felt someone grab my hand and pull me to a rock. It was Lexi.

"Come on, silly goose, stop drinking the river all up." she chided, and as soon as I was sitting on the rock, I stuck my tongue out at her.

"I wasn't drinking it." I protested.

"Mmhmm. Okay, stop breathing the river all up." she smirked, and my breath huffed out of my chest because she was so beautiful it was almost terrifying. The love in her eyes swept me away and the charming smirk on her face grounded me and pulled me in closer.

I shook my head to clear it. I knew I wasn't falling for her in a romantic way, but still my feelings were starting to scare me. I wanted her to protect me but more than that, I wanted to protect her. How are you supposed to be both the one sacrificing to make everything better for someone and at the same time, curl up into a ball and let them take all of the blows for you?

There's no way to make sure neither of us gets hurt.

I sighed, regretting it, because I was afraid Lexi would notice and question it, but she was preparing to jump back in when I came out of my mind and back into the real world.

"Monkey balls and coconut juice!!" Lexi screamed as she hit the water. I shook my head, this girl was crazy.

And you love it.

All of our crazy voice people love her.

Freaking magician does this to us.

She's an angel.

I love her.

"You guys, shut up." I whispered, to the voices in my head. Did I make them up? Is it part of my cancer? Was it some pre-existing disorder that I had?

"Shelly?" I forced myself to be more aware of my surroundings when her voice startled me out of my reverie. Lexi was now hugging my legs, using them to anchor herself against the current.

"Oh. Huh? Yeah? What?" I blurted, in shock, fervently wishing she hadn't heard me telling myself to shut up.

"Are you okay?" she looked me straight in the face, but I couldn't meet her eyes. I stared at the water droplets clinging to her cheeks.

"Um, yeah."

Liar.

Shut up.

"Are you sure?" she questioned, and my heart beat out an irregular beat.

"I- yeah. I'm okay." I had been about to tell her the truth, that I didn't know, and I wasn't sure about anything.

"No." she looked down for a moment, but then her eyes stared back into me, "Please, don't lie to me."

My heart ached, then, for her. I hadn't thought of it as lying to her. I was just- trying to protect her from what a mess I was-

Yeah, okay. I guess I was lying.