Not A Simple Love Story

Chapter Thirty Eight

[Thirty Eight]

***Lexi's POV***

3:47 a.m.

I couldn't sleep, and I laid in bed, watching the celling as if something would happen.

'I just don't know if I love him'

My words rang over and over in my head. I honestly don't know what made me say that. I have to love him, right? I mean, he's been there through everything. He knows everything... almost.

Mike and my dad know, but I chose not to tell anyone else. I don't want anyone worrying about me anymore. I can't have everyone be careful around me, or constantly have to check up on me. I can't do this to Cameron. I can't let him love me. I can't let him care. He has to live his own life... a life without me.

I have to push him away, and he has to let me go.

*

"Hey." A voice said, and I closed my eyes.

"How did you get in?" I asked softly.

"Your dad let me in." Cameron said, and I turned to face him once I felt the bed dip.

"Are you alright, Lex?" He asked, and I sighed.

"Yeah, just tired." I said, forcing a small smile.

"You don't have to lie to me." He whispered, taking my hand in his.

"I have to." I said quietly, looking down at our intertwined hands. He took his other hand, and tilted my chin up, so I had to face him.

"You don't. What's going on, Lexi?" He asked, watching me carefully as I sat up.

"I can't do this anymore, Cameron." I said quietly.

"What?" He whispered.

"This. I can't anymore."

"Say it, and I'll go." He said after a couple minutes of silence.

"Say what?" I asked, blinking back tears.

"You know what. Say what will make me leave, say what will let me go. Say those four words if you can't do this. I'll go." Cameron said, sadness filling his warm, brown eyes.

"I-" I whispered, and looked down.

"I don't love you." I said quietly, and Cameron sat there for a moment. I looked up and he nodded, gently dropping my hand. Cameron stood up, and walked out, taking my whole heart with him. A couple seconds later, Mike walked in.

"Did you..." I whispered, a tear rolling down my cheek.

"Yeah." He said quietly, sitting next to me in bed. I buried my head into his chest, and started crying for what felt like an eternity.

Mike gently rubbed circled on my back, eventually calming me down.

"Why did you do that?" He asked softly.

"I had to, Mike. He can't know." I said, looking up at him with tear-stained cheeks.

"He loves you." Mike said.

"I know. I love him, too. It took everything in me and more to let him go." I said quietly.

"Why did you, then? He wouldn't have left you if you told him the truth." Mike said, and I leaned back onto his chest.

"I know he wouldn't. That's why I did. He can't worry about me, and when I'm-"

"Don't say that. You're going to be alright, ok? Don't think like that." Mike whispered, and I slowly closed my eyes, nodding.

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I sat down on the warm sand, watching the waves slowly crash. I needed time away from it all.

"Hey." A voice said, and I looked up.

"What happened to leaving?" I said quietly.

"I don't give up so easily. You should know that." Cameron said, and I cracked a small smile as he sat down next to me.

I watched the waves crash, and the wind gently blew my hair away from my face.

"Mike talked to me." Cameron whispered, and I looked at him.

"What ever this is that you're scared of, I won't leave you alone. Lexi, I know you don't love me anymore, but I still love you. I can help you." He said, turning his body towards me. I shook my head.

"You can't-" I said, a tear rolling down my cheek.

"I know I can't cure what ever it is, but I can try. I won't let you go through it alone. It's us against the world, remember? Everyone is here for you." Cameron said, and I smiled a sad smile thinking about Magcon.

"I just-"

"No. Please, Lexi. I won't run away. I won't leave, no matter what it is. Tell me, please. I want to help you." Cameron whispered, and I took a deep breath.

"You're going to run away, I know it." I whispered.

"I won't. Not one thing you do, or say, will make me leave. Not even those four words you told me before." He said, holing my hand. I gently closed my eyes, and gathered all the courage I had left.

"I'm dying, Cameron."

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i cried writing this.

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