I Hope To be There: Superflash

4. Where Strength Lies

Kara POV

"Okay, Winn, you really need to find out what that thing was and who sent it." I demand putting my hands on my hips, talking about the octopus robot. Winn sighs and continues typing rapidly, his eyes darting from one corner of the screen to another.

"I'm doing everything I can, Kara. But it'll take a while." I nod with a worrisome look in my eyes.

"Don't worry." Barry assures me and I seems to drop it for a moment, all though I can't let it go. I'm worried it might strike again.

"Anything yet?" Alex appears behind me and I shake my head. She looks at Barry next.

"They'll find it, Kara. For now take it easy." She instructs and I nod apologetically, observing the screen carefully.

"James!" I hear Barry greet and I slowly turn around. James flashes a smile and bro hugs Barry; they seem to enjoy the chatter but his eyes then land on me with hate. He stops talking for a minute but then resumes the talking with Barry, enthusiastically.

For some reason, anger fills me up when he looks at me that way and I walk up to the pair.

"If you're gonna be throwing dirty looks, you better watch out they don't land on me. I'm sick of your 'silent treatment' bullshit. We both lost a friend okay!? Mon-El is gone but that doesn't mean that our friendship has to go down with him!" James seems to be absorbing the information and his eyes widen. Winn and Alex look at each other with unsure glances.

Barry opens his mouth to speak but closes it rapidly after I throw him 'the look'.

"I know Mon-El is gone, Kara. I know! I can accept that but what I can't accept is that I'm looking at his killer right now." His eyes remain clawed into mine and I feel tears threatening to flow in streams.

"I did not kill Mon-El. And you know it." I whisper, with a clenched jaw while pointing at him on the chest.

"You did, Kara." Is the last thing he says before walking away in silence. I remain strong but as soon as he's out the door, I lock myself in the storage room. I can hear Barry's footsteps outside but I can't let him see me like this.

I can't control my breathing and my chest hurts. I realize, I'm having a panic attack. Barry pounds on the door but I refuse to open.

As typical Barry would do, he brakes the lock by making it vibrate. He opens the door and sits next to me. I can't hear what he's saying but I'm guessing it's between the lines of "breathe" or "it's okay."

After a minute, I compose myself. I can now, see, breathe and hear clearly.

"It was 2 months ago..." I pause. "-Mon-El and I were something else to each other. It was a connection. I-I don't know how to explain it." I throw my hands in the air and look at the roof with a smile, remembering him.

"The thing is...his mother. She was batshit crazy and so I challenged her. If she lost, I would finally be able to keep Mon-El without starting World War 3. He told me-" I choke in my tears but then manage the strength to continue.

"He warned me not to do it, but I just wanted to be in peace. I wanted to know that he was going to be mine and only mine. Selfish, I know.

" Finally, the day came and I was losing the fight. I was pretty damn sure she was going to kill me, but before she could, Mon El got in the way and after a few seconds, he was already gone." I finish the story and remain there, looking at the stupid roof.

"I would've done the same." Barry brakes the silence, that takes me by surprise.

"What?" I ask.

"I would've done the same, Kara, because I'm as selfish as you are. But you know...love can drive us batshit crazy like it drove MonEl's mom." I smile and hug him. His warmth is the only thing I need right now.

We stay there for a while until Winn announces that he's got something.

Time to shake it off, I tell myself.

---

"So, I examined one of the legs you chopped off from that god knows what and turns out, It's made of a metal that's almost impossible to find, unless you know the right people at the right time. Or...if you're a very secretive yet lethal organization. which leads me to believe that we might me talking about..." Winn taps his fingers in a drum roll.

"Cadmus." I figure.

"Exactly." He points a finger at me.

"Who's that?" Barry asks, raising an eyebrow.

"With luck, you'll never have to know." I tell him but he's still scratching his neck. I look at Alex who seems to wander off into her thoughts. I approach her and tap her on the shoulder. She snaps out and looks at me with a smile.

"They won't mess everything up again, Alex. I'll make sure of that, okay?" I tell her but she doesn't seem so sure.

"It's just that...um." She hesitates to tell me something but after a few seconds she lifts a hand up. At first, I have no idea, what that means but then I look at the ring and go absolutely ballistic.

"Oh my god, Alex! Im so happy for you girl! Holly cow!" I can't help but jump up and down and then Barry joins in after hearing the good news.

"My sis is getting married!" I sing at the top of my lungs. Then Winn follows. We jump and cheer but Alex seems not to be joining in the chant. I stop and look at her.

"What's wrong?" I ask her and she closes her eyes for a moment.

"Maggie want to get married in Hawaii." I get even more exited.

"That's great!" I exclaim.

"But...we were supposed to leave a month before the wedding...tomorrow." I still don't get it and she can tell I'm puzzled.

"If Cadmus is back, I can't go, Kara. I-" I cut her off right in the middle of her sentence.

"There's no way in hell you're staying here. We can handle it. And plus, Barry's going to be here for a while, while Winn figures out a way to create a inter dimensional portal." I explain, she smiles and her eyes look red a puffy. I hug her.

"If you don't get on that plane with Maggie, I'll drag your ass to Hawaii." I scold and she nods, accepting that she has no choice.

"My sister is getting married!", I continue chanting.

---

"Kara?" Barry asks, grabbing my waist as I almost stumble into my face. The ringing in my ears seems to be squishing my head and I can't think straight. It hurts too much. I feels like I'm screaming but I can't hear myself.

Barry seems to be panicked.

"Don't call Alex!" My lips move and he seems to understand. I fall to the ground with my hands on my ears. My head pounds even harder.

"Hello, Kara Zor-El. Remeber me?" There's a voice inside my head. It hurts so bad.

I scream but I still can't hear myself. I can see out on the corner of my eye that James is by my side, shouting something but my vision starts to worsen.

"I'm Lex Luthor." I pass out after that.

Oh boy...