Days has been too slow for me. Everyday i'm still looking for my baby bump. Weeks has gone and i'm still processing the fact that we lost our baby. I feel so sorry for my fiancèe, for everyone. We are all excited for my baby boy and it's killing me that i lost him. I undergo on a surgery, removing those little stretch marks that i had when i got pregnant. It's really different now, back to my flat stomach.
One morning, Jason greeted me his good morning and planted kisses on my face. He kissed my tummy and later on said his sorry to me. He always kiss my tummy and it's really a heartbreak for us that he can't do that now. He can still kiss my tummy but there's nothing with it now.
Since i went home from the hospital, i always visit my baby boy's room. The things that we bought and even the gifts that i received, it's all there. The fact that it will not be use for my baby, it's really making me weak.
Every night i always cry to Jason. He always said that there's a purpose with everything that's happening. I always told that to myself too, but seeing my friends and my sister having that baby bump and still carrying their babies with them, i want to break down. I want my little boy back and i know i can't have it.
Mornings and nights came, i'm forcing myself to move forward. I know it will be hard for me, for us actually. Alistaire was always looking at my tummy but later on shifting her look to something else. She always made me happy. Dancing around our room and even telling the story of little mermaid was really helping me.
Jason always made my day a special one. He always start our morning with cuddles and ends it with kisses. He even asked me for a date and his really sweet about that. Without him, life will be miserable for me. We talked about making baby again. He told me that not now and he wants it to be special. I don't know what he means by that. As long as his with me, that's the special thing that i have.
"Morning princess. How was your sleep?" Jason whispered, brushing the loose hair strands from my face.
"Good. Morning too baby." I peck a kiss on his lips and pulled him for a hug.
"I already prepared our shower. Come on." He carried me up from the bed and walked directly to our bathroom. He slowly put me down and as my feet touch the floor, i removed my clothes. Our tub was ready. Petals on the water, candles that was lit and the aroma of the lavander, it was all here. I waited for him as he was removing his clothes. We both dipped on the tub and never cared with the world.
I felt relaxed as he stayed behind me. Kissing my neck down to my back, it really made me shiver. I turn around and put my legs on both side of him, wrapping it on his waist. I started to kiss his lips. Deeply and passionately, i slid my tongue inside his mouth. I felt a return tongue coming from him and that started the battling of our tongues inside his mouth. The heat that's coming from him was really addictive.
He slowly pulled me up from the tub and we stand in front of the shower. He started to caress my breast with his powerful hand. He stayed behind me and i keep on grinding my butt on his lower. Squeezing my breasts and repeatedly pinching my nipples, it was getting me weak. I can feel his hardness behind me. I turn around, wrapping my arms on his neck. I kissed him again. A torrid kiss that i gave to him, he returned it quickly.
Slowly, he lifted my legs and wrapped it on his waist. Not even a wink, he slid inside of me. I gasped as i felt him inside of me. No words can describe this make out that we're having.
"Ohh.. Baby.." I moaned directly to his ear and licking that ear that i know that has an effect on him. He thrusts more inside of me. My legs were getting weak but his grip on my legs was tight. Back and forth his still enjoying our standing position, well i was too.
"Fuck." I felt his release inside of me and that made me moan more.
His mouth crushed against mine as he kissed me with all his love and i returned it to him. Heavy breathing came out from both of us after we reach the climax of this making love.
"I love you." I softly said, still searching for my breath. I leaned in and kissed him gently. We are both catching our breaths, smiling and lock in each other.
"I love you too." He said in a shaky and deep voice. Brushing the loose hair strands on my face, he kissed me again. We stayed like this but later on Jason slowly pulled out from me. I unwrapped my legs from him and reached for the control of the shower. It was our first sex after my miscarriage, actually almost two months of not having sex.
We stayed on the shower a little longer. I rubbed his hair smoothly, finding it as the cute one. As we stepped out of the bathroom, we're both plastered with smile.
"Smiling like you won on the lottery." I giggled then walked towards our wardrobe.
"I already got the jackpot Missy." He grabbed my waist and placed a soft kiss on my shoulder. I removed myself from his hold. I searched for a better and comfy clothes for today. I run my fingers to the set of clothes that was hung around. I stopped as i reach my dresses, it's my maternity dresses. I don't like to change the mood here now, i want to move forward. I passed on it and decided for a sleeveless top and a high waist short. I quickly put on my clothes, realizing that his already dressed.
"Let's cook some breakfast baby." I pulled him out of our room and made our way to our kitchen.
"Good Morning Mam.. Sir.." We just nodded with our maids greeting. Damn! They are already making our breakfast. No chance to cook.
"Guys, we'll be cooking for lunch huh. I thought i can cook breakfast today." I cheekily said. They just laugh at me and apologize for that. While waiting for the breakfast, we sat on the garden's couch with the mugs of coffee in our hands.
The soft water waves coming from our pool, the hot wind that was blowing and the organic scent that was coming from the plants, it's all relaxing. A bright and sunny day welcomed us and it's gonna be a good start.
"Baby, we can make another one, right?" I broke the silence as we are both on our deep thought. I was leaning on his shoulder, while he was draping his arm on my shoulder.
"After that making love a while ago, i think.. Yes." He smirked. I hope it will turn out to pregnancy again and i'll be very careful if that happens again.
"If not, we'll try again okay?" I tilted my head to see his face and cupped his cheeks.
"We will not stop Staphanie." He laughed. I hit his chest and entwined my hand to his. His idea was really tiring, i think. Just thinking of it, my body will get sore and all.
"Mommy.. Daddy.." We heard a soft little voice coming from the door of our house. Lea opened the door slowly as i gestured to her that she can leave Alistaire.
"Good Morning." She both kiss us on our lips. Her breath was really good, i love how her milk blended with her breath.
"How was my princess' sleep?" I put her on my lap, facing me. I cupped her cheeks because she's so cute with the face that she's making.
"Good. Mommy.. Daddy.." She looked at us both, pouting her lips. Ohh! What a cute little girl.
"Hmm. What was that?" Jason moved closer to her as she wrapped us on each of her small arm.
"I love you both." She sweetly said. That made me stop and look at her. Isn't she so sweet? Tears forming in my eyes, but i quickly wiped it.
"Really? Mommy loves you more than anything else in this world." I hugged her tight as she remained on my lap. She's my daughter, really ours.
"And i love your Daddy like his my world." I touched his face as i released from Alistaire's hug. I can't stop loving this man.
"I love you Mommy." Alistaire kissed my lips again. I was glad that these people was showering me with love.
"I love you baby." Jason placed his finger under my chin and turn it, to face him. He gave me a short, meaningful kiss.
"You both are the sweetest." I hugged them both as i keep on stopping my tears to fall. I really can't believe that life has been this good to me.
"Mam.. Excuse me, are we going to serve the breakfast here?" I released from the hug as i heard that and nodded on our maid. Later on they served the breakfast. A really good breakfast for the three of us. Alistaire was on her fruity cereals while Jason and I, have egg, toast, bacon and sausage that save us from hunger.
"Any plans for today Steph?" Jason wiped his mouth with the clean cloth.
"Let's go to Mom's house." I smiled. He gave me 'are you sure look' and i just nodded. I know Sierra was there because she always visit Mom. I used to avoid some of my friends and also Sierra because seeing them pregnant was making me feel sick. I can face them soon.
As we are all done, we made our way to our room. I asked Lea to fixed Alistaire's clothes and give it to me as soon as she's done cause i'll be putting Alistaire to shower.
"Honey come on. Shower time." I wave at her, standing in front of the bathroom door. She quickly jumped out of the bed then run towards me. I carried her in my arms and stepped inside the bathroom.
"Who did this to you?" I noticed a small insect bite on her arm as i was removing her clothes.
"The small one that is flying Mommy." She made a sad face as if she was eaten by a monster. I started to put her in the shower and rubbed her whole body.
"What is that small one called? I will report that to police cause she bite my princess." I teased. She was thinking with her hands on her mouth while pouting. Such a cute one!
"I don't know Mommy. It was like a black itchy thing." She shook her head as if it's really a big deal. I put her shampoo and massage her hair thoroughly.
"I will report that to police so that they can catch that black itchy thing. Okay?" I softly laughed because of that. She doesn't know mosquitoes that's why she called it that way. I wrapped her in her small robe and carried her in my arms.
"Daddy look. She was bitten by the black itchy thing." I laughed. I put her down on the carpet in front of our couch. Jason will be the one to dress her.
"Ohh. I will find that itchy thing and bite it also. They bite my princess." Jason sadly said then hugged Alistaire. I don't know where she got that insect bite, maybe on the garden. Our whole house was really safe from those. It's really a big deal for me cause i don't want any mark or scar on her body, just like me of course. Even we're totally carried away with our making out, Jason wasn't putting me a hickey, cause he wants me to have a flawless skin. We're just so self-conscious.
"Baby, are you going to change your clothes?" I looked at him cause his on his blue short and grey shirt.
"No. It's okay right?" I nodded. His looking good, i swear. After the thing that we had a while ago, we just glow like this. It's just sex that we need, gosh!
As soon as we our done with everything, we decided to go to Mom's house. It's just two streets away no need for the traffic rules. I brought some of Alistaire's things cause i know she'll be a messy one today. I even told our maids that we'll not be having lunch at our house.
Our gate opened and Jason quickly parked it on the space. I miss our house. It's past ten now and for sure everyone is awake.
"Morning Mam.. Sir." Evelyn opened the front door. I hugged her and asked if where is the others and they are on the dining room as per her. We started to walk towards the dining room. They were having a small talk about their late breakfast. I slowly entered the dining with Alistaire on my arms and Jason behind us.
"Stephanie!" Steven squealed and launched a big hug on me.
"Where's Anika?" I whispered to him. He get Alistaire from me and hugged her so tight.
"She'll be here later." I nodded. I kissed Mom and Sandy. Jason followed behind me. Too sad, Sierra wasn't here. This house was really different now. I want to go back here but i can't leave my house and my babies.
"You stay here today?" Mom asked. We remained standing while Alistaire was stole by my brother.
"Yea. I'm sick staying at our house. Miss you Mom." I hugged her lightly. Since that i had the miscarriage, mom never leave my side. Lucy also did the same. She stayed at our house for three days and really took care of me. Everyone did those action and it's really a heart felt.
"Did you eat already?" Mom tapped my shoulder.
"Yea. We've been up by six, just done some exercise." I grinned. I felt Jason got tensed about my words. I wrapped my arm on his waist and lean on his shoulder.
"Jog?" Mom sipped her coffee.
"Swim." I smirked remembering that we had sex at the shower. God!
"Good exercise.. Alistaire you didn't kiss Mama." Mom turned her head to my little girl. Alistaire got up from Steven's lap then go straight to my Mom. Soon Sierra's baby will be the center of everything and i don't like the fact that Alistaire will get jealous.
We all headed to the entertainment as they are all done with the breakfast. Lucy came because Mom called her. It was a piece of life that i'm really happy of, my family.
"Honey, how are you feeling now?" Lucy touch my face.
"Better Mom. Jason was really helping me. Thank you again." I hugged her but released her soon from the hug. I remained leaning on her shoulder. She's really a great in law.
"You feeling sore or anything? Just tell me." She seriously said. Mom was busy talking with Alistaire and Sandy. While Jason and Steven was having a talk about cars, boys issues!
"Sore." I softly laughed. She tilted her head and looked at me.
"You have sex?" She softly whispered. I just nodded as she shook her head. She mouthed 'protection' to me and i shook my head quickly. We both laughed so loud and that made the others look at us.
"Why?" Mom asked being confused.
"Your daughter-" I cut her off by putting my hand on her mouth. I'll be embarass if Lucy tell that.
"I'm just asking Lucy if we can stay on their house tomorrow cause i miss her." I lied and wiggled my brows to Lucy.
"Really? Ohh that will be great." Mom smiled. Jason looked at me, really searching for the truth, i just gave him a wink.
We stayed laughing around. It was really good and it's really helping me to get rid of my miscarriage though it's really a heart break for us. Anika already arrived and she's asking me about the plans for summer. Of course beach, nothing else. We're gonna be rocking the beach with our beach wears. Looks like a plan and i'm excited with it.
