Wounded

Chapter 6

I stared down at the tiny scabbed over cut on my wrist. It wasn't much, but it was proof of what I had resorted to. I didn't regret doing it. I had been sad for so long, and for some reason cutting had given me a sliver of that control back. It was barely anything, but it was enough.

After last night, I was cold and shivering. I had probably gotten sick from being in the rain for so long. Mum had already left for work today, so really all I had to do was convince Beau to let me stay home. I shakily got out of bed and ignored Luke's strange glance from where he was already getting dressed for school. I made my way across the hall to Beau's room, and knocked on his door with my blanket wrapped tightly around my shoulders.

"What?!" Beau almost screamed in frustration as he opened his door. I flinched back out of reflex and stared down at my toes. I hated to be yelled at, especially after all of the bullying I had to deal with. I was silent for a moment, but when I finally did speak, it was barely above a whisper.

"Can I stay home, today? I feel really sick and dizzy." I asked hopefully. I could practically feel Beau's frown as I heard him sigh dramatically.

"I don't care, Jai. I have too much to deal with right now without you adding to it. Just....i don't know...try to realize that the world doesn't just revolve around you for once." I was finally able to make eye contact with Beau, and felt tears burn at the back of my eyes as soon as I did. I really was nothing but a burden to him. He had just made that more than clear.

I turned around and headed back to my room before Beau could see my tears. I could cry in front of anyone else but Beau. He's probably make fun of me and tell me to stop being such a baby as soon as he saw my tears coming down.

"Jai?" Luke questioned as I walked into our room in tears. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine Luke. Really, I'm just sick, that's all." I tried to convince Luke, but he didn't seem to believe me. He but his lip as he nervously stared at me, trying to figure out if I was telling the truth or not.

"Okay." Luke nodded. "Then, I'm staying home with you."

"What? Why?" I was confused. Luke was completely fine. He didn't need to stay home with me.

"To take care of my baby brother, course!" Luke chuckled like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I had to roll my eyes at his shenanigans. He was always making jokes about the two minute difference between us.

"I'll be fine, Luke." I sighed. "Besides won't it look weird for both of us to miss school?"

"We're twins, we practically share an immune system." Luke dead-panned, almost like he was telling the truth when we both knew that notion was utterly ridiculous.

"You're ridiculous, Luke." I laughed lightly as I wiped my face of leftover tears.

"Yeah and there's something bothering you, isn't there?" My twin suddenly became serious. My eyes widened slightly at his question. I turned my head away as I tried to come up with some sort of excuse for my off behavior.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just sick of being compared to you all of the time.
What's wrong with that?" I avoided eye contact with him, not wanting to give myself away.

"There's nothing wrong with that. I feel the same way, but you've just seemed different lately..." Luke trailed off.

"No I haven't." I scoffed, causing Luke to hesitantly dropped the conversation at hand.

"Whatever you say, Jai." Luke sighed. "Do you need another blanket?"

"No, I'm good." I replied. Honestly, though, I probably did. I was shivering really badly, and it didn't seem like I was going to stop anytime soon. That's what I get for walking in the rain, though.

Luke and I ended up going into the living room to watch movies as Beau was leaving for school. He saw Luke and I huddled on in the couch and raised an eyebrow.

"So, I take it that both of my little brothers are slipping school today?" Beau asked, shaking his head at us.

"Jai doesn't feel good, so I'm simply staying home until it catches up with my half of our immune system." Luke told Beau with a straight face.

"Do you really expect anyone to buy that excuse, Luke?" Beau asked in disbelief.  Luke nodded as I cuddled deeper into his side, not wanting to deal with Beau.

"Well Jai actually is sick." Luke admitted. "He's shivering and practically on fire right now."

"Is he?" Beau questioned and walked closer to me to put a hand on my forehead. However, I flinched away from him before he could make contact. Both of my brothers were confused by this. We never flinched away from each other, but that was exactly what I just did.

"Sorry." I whispered, causing Beau to slowly nod his head and place his hand down on my forehead.

"You're burning up, Jai." Beau noted as he removed his hand from my head. "Try to feel better. And also try not to get Lukey over here sick, too. I hate dealing with sick twins."

I nodded slowly as Beau walked out the door and left for school. Luke was staring at me in confusion and worry, though. I knew he was a little weirded out by my behavior towards Beau. That just wasn't like me, but I had done it.

I bit my lip in frustration as I tried to remain normal. That was growing harder and harder by the day, though. I was falling apart and there was no stopping it.