Wounded

Chapter 20

So upset right now about Chester and these awful people making jokes and memes about his death! It's so disrespectful and I'm absolutely disgusted right now!

Anyway, rant over, in with the chapter!

"Jai! Jai, come on wake up!" I opened my eyes to find someone shaking me. My vision was hazy, but I could recognize Luke from anywhere. I blinked my eyes a few times until my vision started to clear up.

"Luke?" I croaked. "What's wrong?" He had tears streaming down his face and he looked angry.

"What's wrong? I walk out of our room to find you with your wrists slit open and bleeding everywhere. What do you think is wrong, Jai!" Luke screamed. He was beyond angry. That was when I took a moment to take in my surroundings.

I was in our room, that much was obvious. Looking down I noticed that someone, probably Luke, had haphazardly wrapped my arms in bandages. I bit my lip. I never wanted Luke to see me like this. I looked at him next.

I almost wished I hadn't.

Luke had bloodstains all over his shirt, and even more blood on his hands. My blood. He should of just let me die that way he didn't have to deal with this.

"I...Luke..." I struggled to find the right words to say.

"What?" Luke's voice sounded empty, broken almost. "What, Jai? Don't you think I Deserve an explanation?"

"You wouldn't understand, Luke." I sighed, looking away. It was true. We may be twins, but Luke and I had never really been on the same page. We were just two different people. Luke couldn't begin to understand what I've been through.

"What? Are you serious, Jai?" Luke raised his voice slightly. "What makes you say that?"

"Because you had to ask."

///

Luke and I cleaned up all of the blood I managed to leave behind after I somehow managed to convince him to not tell anyone. There wasn't really a lot of it, to be honest. I had cut deep enough to make me pass out from blood loss, but not deep enough to kill myself. Explaining that to Luke made him feel slightly better about the whole thing.

We then went back to pretending that nothing was wrong with me. I was confused and slightly disappointed by that. Luke cared enough to get mad at me for it, yet he didn't care enough to do something about it. He was just going to let the whole incident melt away into the past, and that hurt.

//

"Boys, how was your weekend?" Mum asked as she picked us up later that afternoon.

"The best." Luke and I chorused in sync, causing her to raise an eyebrow at us before shaking her head and chuckling. It always seemed to crack her up when Luke and I accidentally spoke in sync.

On the way home, Luke and my Mum were busy talking, but I just silently say in the backseat. They talked so easily, but yet they couldn't begin to even take the time to try to talk to me.

I had my heavy music (which Luke happened to enjoy on occasion as well), FIFA, and art. None of my interests seemed to interest my mother. She thought my music was too rough. She viewed FIFA as a waste of time and she preferred photography to art.

I used to think that maybe if I could just get her to try to understand then maybe she would. After all, she put up with Beau and everything he put her through. Why couldn't she do the same for me?

I had already given up on Luke. Did I need to give up on her, too?

///

I walk in our house to find Beau, Daniel, and James watching movies on our couch. I felt a stab in the chest when I realized that James had been around Beau and Daniel. James could have told Beau at any point that I wasn't okay, but he didn't. Instead, he chose to ignore it and that was something that really cut deeper than any knife ever could. I had called my so-called best friend to say goodbye and he chose to pretend it never happened.

It was similar to how Luke, my own twin brother, found out I self-harmed, but chose to ignore it instead of trying to help me. At the time o thought that Dylan was right. That killing myself wasn't worth it in the end. Now, I wasn't so sure that was the right decision.  The people I cared about and that I thought cared about me, pretended to not know I had a serious problem. I honestly didn't know how to feel about that.

"Luke, Jai, come watch some movies with us!" Beau called out to Luke and I. Luke grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over to the couch, causing me to wince in pain. His eyes widened in realization once he noticed where he had grabbed and he immediately let go. "You okay, Jai?" Beau asked, noticing me wince.

"I'm just fine." I answered quickly. After a minute of sitting there I changed my mind. "You know what? Actually I'm tired. I think I'm going to take a nap before dinner."