Wounded

Chapter 17

"You boys have fun and try to take it easy on your grandparents." Mum told Luke and I as she was dropping us off at their house. I could vaguely see Luke roll his eyes at her, but she only ignored it. Just like she always does.

"Of course, Mum!" Luke said cheerily, batting his eyes at her.

"Luke, go on inside. I want to talk to Jai for a minute." Mum ordered, catching both of our attention. Luke glanced at me before making his way inside. I stiffened sat the thought of what she wanted to say to me.

"What is it Mum?" I asked curiously.

"I know that you've been upset by something these last few months, but just try to pull it together for me. You're Nonno and Nonna are too old to deal with any shenanigans. So, please, try not to create any more trouble with Luke. For me." I was left standing there stunned as she gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and left. It was true. My own mother thought I was a problem. I dint know how to cope with that. My entire life I've always known she loves me and my absent father shouldn't matter, but what if that was just a lie? What if this entire time she only loved me out of obligation?

I ran inside and tried to pretend that nothing was wrong. I was tough. I could handle this.

When I walked inside, my grandparents were cooing over Luke and I couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy. Luke was loved by everyone no matter where he went. Me on the other hand? My grandparents were the only people that truly loved me. I just wanted to spend some time with them and feel loved for once. Luke, however, had to come along and ruin that.

I walked over to the three having the time of their lives in the kitchen and stood there hoping someone would notice me. Nonno didn't. Nonna didn't. So, why did I even come here?

I felt a tear drip and fall down my cheek. I may have wanted what Luke had, but I know that I'll never actually get that.

I'm alone.

"Jai?" I looked up to see very one glancing at me worriedly. I decided to fake a laugh for the sake of their happiness.

"I'm fine. I'm just really tired. I'm going to get some sleep." I lied before basically sprinting to the room Luke and I stay in whenever we spend the night here. I flopped down on the bed I usually slept on. It's funny, but I've never felt more alone than I do now. I had a twin, so technically that meant I was never alone, but honestly I thought that wasn't true in the slightest. I was all alone and it was my own fault. I had pushed everyone away when I needed someone the most. I couldn't do that anymore. I decided that as soon as this weekend was over, I was going to find James and tell him everything. He was my best friend and he deserved an explanation.

"Jai?" I shot up at the sound of Luke's voice and quickly wiped the tears off of my face. Luke was looking at me with an expressionless look on his face, and I had no idea what was running through his head. I didn't really want to find out anyways. Luke and I just weren't close anymore. I sat up completely and faked a smile towards him, causing him to frown.

"What is it, Luke?"

"Cut the crap! What's your problem. One minute you're crying and then the next you're smiling. Just tell me what's wrong already." Luke huffed, running a hand through his hair stressfully.

"I'm fine, Luke." I spoke softly, trying not to antagonize him any further. Luke let out a sigh and sat on my bed next to me. He sat there quietly for a few minutes before clearing his throats and speaking his next words softly.

"You know Ava Kelly, right?"

I nodded.

"Did you know she cuts herself?" I immediately froze, which didn't go unnoticed by Luke.

"What? How do you know?" I asked, staring at Luke intently.

"Come on, Jai. You've seen all of her bracelets. They're not fooling anyone. Honestly, the more she tried to hide it, the more obvious it became. No one wears that many bracelets for no reason." Luke looked me dead in the eyes as he was saying this, and that was when I figured it out. Luke knew I cut myself. He knew, he just wasn't saying anything. He didn't want to say anything. Saying something would be acknowledging it, and that was a conversation neither of us wanted to have.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked. I was curious. Or maybe it was because deep down I craved for someone to notice that I wasn't okay. I wanted Luke to be that someone. I had once trusted him with my life, but that was then and this is now.

"No reason." He shrugged. "You know I love me some gossip. Plus, Dylan told me that maybe I should tell you about her. He said you've been crushing on her pretty hard."

"Dylan said what?!" I shouted, surprising Luke. Luke blinked in confusion at my behavior before answering me.

"He told me you liked Ava. It was kind of weird. I thought you two hated each other now."

"We do. I can't stand the guy and I don't like Ava." I laughed.

"Oh well, that's good I guess." Luke nodded. "You remind me of her, though. A lot."

Luke walked out without another word and left me sitting there more confused than ever.

At first, I thought that maybe Luke knew. Maybe he knew I self-harmed and thought about dying on a regular basis. But maybe he didn't. It's easy to see the secrets of strangers, but almost impossible to see the secrets of those closest to you.