Wounded

Chapter 22

"What did you do?!" I yelled angrily at Luke. It had been a week since Luke found out I self-harmed, and I had come home only to find all of my blades missing. I knew that Luke was the thief. It couldn't have possibly been anyone else.

"I just did something that needed to be done." Luke replied casually.

"It was none of your business!" I scoffed.

"My twin is slowly killing himself, yet that's none of my business? I'm pretty sure that makes it my business, Jai." Luke smirked, angering me.

"Just because you take away my tools doesn't mean I can't hurt myself in other ways." I smirked back, watching his face fall.

"Jai, please don't do something stupid." Luke sighed, causing me to roll my eyes at him.

"Whatever, Luke."

Luke opened his mouth to say something, but was quickly interrupted by Beau running into the room.

"Hey Lukey! I got us two tickets to see that movie you were wanting to see!" Beau cheered excitedly.

"That's awesome, Beau. You're the best brother ever!" Luke said excitedly. I felt a stab of jealousy.  Not only was I not invited just like usual, but Luke called Beau the best brother ever. What was I? Not good enough again?

"Oh, sorry Jai. I just got us tickets. I figured you'd want to stay in your room like usual." Beau explained, noticing the hurt expression on my face.

"It's fine Beau. You two have fun!" I reassured him, faking a smile. "I have stuff I need to do anyway."

"No you don't." Luke scoffed, calling me out on my lie. Beau furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He was about to say something but I beat him to it.

"Luke, please don't." Luke nodded in response, giving up on me just like that.

I left the room before either of them could question me any further. It was always like this. Luke and Beau were always hanging out and doing fun things without me. They even went so far as to make videos I wasn't allowed to be in at all. I wasn't a very jealous person, but sometimes it just really hurt.

Looking quickly behind me, I locked myself in the bathroom and pulled out my lighter. Luke was stupid if he thought I needed a blade to self harm.

I pulled my sleeve up and clicked the flame on. I had cut, but I had never burned myself before. I took a deep breathe and held the flame up to my arm. I hissed in pain and immediately jerked the flame back. I knew it would hurt, but I didn't expect it to that much. I took a deep breathe and tried again. This time I was able to hold it longer.

Yeah, Luke was stupid if he thought he could stop me.

///

It was finally time to film another video. This always happened. We'd post one and then procrastinate for months at a time.

"How about-" Daniel started.

"No, Skip!" James interrupted.

"But you didn't even know what I was going to say!" He pouted.

"Didn't have to!" James smirked, causing everyone but Daniel to laugh.

"What about Jai?" Skip suddenly suggested. "Got any bright ideas floating around in there?"

"We could do the rainbow milk challenge..." I suggested after a moment. Everyone instantly agreed except for Luke.

"Jai, I'm not sure if that's a very good idea." Luke objected, shooting me a look that only I could interpret. I got his message loud and clear. He thought I was trying to hurt myself be throwing up a bunch of milk. I rolled my eyes. Two could play that game.

"Aww is little Lukey scared that his little fan girls are going to find out he isn't invincible after all?!" I teased.

"Shut up, Jai!" Luke snapped, angrily. "You're the one that's going to be throwing up!"

"Really, because last time I checked, you were the twin with the weaker stomach!" I teased. Luke huffed angrily, but chose to drop the subject. It was obvious that he had already lost that argument.

We made plans to film the next day, and I started to wonder if maybe things could get better after all.

Yeah, right. That'll never happen.

///

Luke cornered me after Daniel and James left and Beau retreated to his bedroom. I couldn't say that I wasn't expecting it, but I was still surprised by it.

"What are you playing at, Jaidon!?" Luke demanded.

"Nothing! I just thought it sounded like a fun video to film. Think about it. We never throw up like normal people. We'll be fine while everyone else embarrasses themselves with how easily they throw up." I explained. Luke took a moment to let it all sink in before cracking a large grin.

"Wow, if only people knew how evil we really were..." Luke joked. 

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure only Beau knows the truth about us." I laughed.

"Speaking of the truth," Luke started, causing me to groan. "Who else knows about you...cutting yourself..."

"You're the only one..." I answered before realization dawned on me. "Actually Dylan and all his little cronies know too."

"You mean you told them but not me." Luke looked genuinely offended.

"No they found out without me wanting them to."

"How?"

"I can't tell you."

And that was the truth. Although, Luke found out I self-harmed, I didn't want him to find out about any of the other stuff as well. Those were still my tightly kept secrets and I intended to keep them that way.