Wounded

Chapter 24

"So, I heard you blew up at Beau earlier." Luke commented nonchalantly. I shrugged my shoulders at him in response. Maybe I had, but that was none of Luke's business. I just wanted him to leave me alone.

"So, you blow up at Beau every day. It's Beau. You know how annoying he can be." I countered. Luke shot me a sad smile in return.

"Jai, I think we both know what this is about. You're jealous of me. Honestly, I don't know how I never noticed it before." Luke laughed, as if all of my problems were just summed up in those few sentences.

"Luke, I'm not jealous." I sighed. "I was just angry and took it out on Beau. To be honest, I really don't care if he loves you more than me or not." I explained honestly, Luke stared at me for a moment before accepting my response.

"I'm worried, Jai." Luke bit his lip. "You're losing weight, You're cutting yourself, and you even tried to kill yourself. I don't want to wake up one day and find you dead. We're twins and I don't know what I'd do if you weren't in my life."

"I'll be fine, Luke. I always am."

///

Beau decided the Janoskians were going to have an emergency group meeting after school. No one knew what it was about, not even Luke. I felt my anxiety increase as we headed to school. Luke and I once again had to walk because Beau had senior stuff to take care of.

The Whole time I was thinking bad thoughts. What if Beau knew? What if he told Mum? What if he hated and disowned me? I subconsciously started to harshly scratch at my wrist, grabbing Luke's attention immediately.

"Jai? What's wrong?" Luke asked, reaching over to yank my hand away from my wrist. "Come on. You know you can talk to me."

"I'm fine, Luke. Really." I attempted a smile but it didn't reach my eyes. It was obvious that Luke didn't believe me either.

"How about we skip school today, Jai Jai?" Luke asked me, smiling mischeviously. I bit my lip in thought. There were just so many things that could go wrong. It was a terrible idea.

"Mum is going to kill us if we do." I explained nervously. "She's already mad enough at me. I don't want to make her hate me even more."

"Mum could never hate you Jai. You're my twin brother and her son. You've just been stressing everyone out lately." Luke reassured me. I thought about it. What more did I have to lose? I was already slowly falling apart, nothing could happen that could make it worse than it already was.

"Ok, I guess it couldn't hurt..." I agreed, causing Luke's eyes to light up with joy. He hurriedly grabbed me by the arm, causing me to hiss in pain, before dragging me off to a nearby park we liked to go to when we were younger.

We sat in silence for several minutes, neither of us knowing what to say. Even I had to admit it was pretty awful. Not only were we twins, but Luke and I used to tell each other everything. Now, we could barely even say two words to each other without starting an argument. It was sad because it was also all of my fault.

"I hate this!" Luke let out a frustrated sigh. "It's supposed to Luke and Jai against the world. Whatever happened to that?"

"I don't know." I answered, resting my head on my knees. It was true. Luke used to be the one person I could trust, but things had changed for the worse. The more I had been bullied, the more I hid from Luke. I couldn't help it. I was ashamed and I hated myself for being so weak. My brothers were both so strong-willed and seemed to be able to move past anything. I, however, was nothing like that. I chose to avoid confrontation at all costs, even if it meant gaining a few bruises in the process.

"I wish we could change everything and be best friends again." Luke sighed, causing my head to shoot up. 'Best Friends'. That was a term that I had no right to use. I was alone because I chose to walk down that path of life. We things started to get rough, I pushed Luke and everyone else on my life away. It wasn't fair to treat them like that, but what's done is done. I honestly don't know if I can even fix it anymore.

"Luke, I'm sorry." I mumbled hesitantly. "Everything is my fault and I'm sorry."

"Jai, what are you asking about?" Luke asked, raising an eyebrow at me. He was obviously confused and I couldn't blame him. He didn't know how much of a disgrace I really was. I couldn't be the twin brother he deserved, and I hated myself for that.

"I've been lying to you for too long..." I started, watching as Luke's face adopted a more serious expression. I took a deep breathe and looked down before I could change my mind. "I'm sorry. You know Dylan, right? We used to be friends, but now we never talk."

"Yeah, you guys just drifted apart. It happens. You can't stay friends with the same people forever." Luke responded, trying to cheer me up.

"It's more than that though." I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to watch Luke's face when I finally told him. "Once we started to get popular on YouTube, he started to constantly insult me and put me down, and eventually it started to get physical."

"What do you mean by physical?" Luke asked, his voice strained. It was obvious that he was trying to hold his anger inside long enough for me to finish.

"He gave me these." I explained, lifting my shirt up to reveal the fading bruises that littered my chest and stomach. I felt Luke flinch back at the sight of them before he stood up and started to pace back and forth, clenching his fists tightly.

"How long?"

"Months. Almost a year or more."

"Why?!" Luke raised his voice. "Why did you let it go on this long? You should have told me, Beau, somebody, Jai! I'm guessing you didn't try to fight back either!"

"I didn't want to disappoint you." I whispered, causing Luke to stop pacing and kneel in front of me.

"Jai, listen to me and listen good. Nothing you could do would ever change the fact that you're my twin brother and my other half!" Luke shook me slightly as he spoke. "Now, I'm going to go find Dylan and make him wish that he had never even met you!"

"No, don't!" I yelled, stopping Luke from going anywhere.

"Why shouldn't I. He drove you to the point of being suicidal! He made you try to leave me, so why shouldn't I give him what he deserves?"

"Because of it wasn't for him I'd be Dead right now!"