You Drive Me To Insanity

YDMTI ~ 16

My eyes were forced to be opened because of the scorching sun light. I rubbed them, trying to make the stinging go away. Finally, it did. I noticed that I was back at Jeff's house, in his bed, with him right next to me. I looked over and saw that he was shirtless, which made my face turn a little red.

Jeff shifted onto his back, revealing his stomach. He had a 6 pack. But I also saw that he had scars all over him. I frowned and looked closer at one of them that looked more recent. It actually wasn't a scar yet, it was a cut, that was kind of deep.

I put my finger against it, rubbing it lightly, feeling the rigged edges. The knife must've had teeth or something.

"Ouch!" Jeff hissed, shooting up. My eyes went wide and I dropped my hand back onto the bed."Mindy, were you just touching my cut?"

"No..." I lied, looking away from Jeff's glare.

"Mindy! Why were you doing that?!"

"I was only curious, Jeff," I said, looking at his cut some more."Where did it come from?"

"I got that cut, trying to protect you. A couple days ago, I got into a knife fight with someone who I thought, had forgiven me."

Jeff...fights....for me?

"Who were you fighting?"

"Someone that isn't any of your business. I'll tell you about her some other time." Jeff replied.

"HER?! ITS A WOMAN?!"

"Yep. A kinda hot won to be exact."

"D-Do...you like her?" I asked, hoping he'd say no.

"A little."

I was filled with anger and sadness. I thought Jeff loved me! I guess I thought wrong...

"Oh...Well...I need to shower...will you got out and get me me some soap the is...more feminine...?" I looked down.

"Of course. I'll be back in ten!" Jeff replied, sounding happy as can be. Lucky him...His heart wasn't just ripped out of his chest....

When I knew Jeff was gone, I started to cry. I actually thought Jeff loved me. Nice joke, Mindy...

I stood up, and looked for a pencil sharpener. Luckily, I found one that was in my bag for some odd reason. I used one of Jeff's knifes to get the screw out, then I took the razor off of the sharpener.

I pulled my shirt over my head, tossed it to the other side of the room, and began cutting.

I cut on my stomach, four times, then each arm, I cut my wrists four times. All together I had 12 cuts on my body.

I grabbed Jeff's hoodie and used it to wipe up the blood. He shouldn't notice. When I knew that I wasn't going to bleed anymore, I stood up. Then, the door swung open.

Luckily, I was in my bra, because it was Jeff.

He looked at me from head to toe.

"Where'd those cuts come from?" He asked, looking at my stomach.

"I had a cat. A long time ago. The cuts re-opened from when it scratched me." I quickly replied."Did you get the shampoo and soap?"

Jeff nodded slowly, and handed me the bag.

"Thanks." I said, dashing past him and to the bathroom.

I was sitting on Jeff's couch with Ben. He noticed instead of wearing the fun, short sleeved, shirts I usually wear, I wore a black long sleeved shirt with skinny jeans.

In the shower, I had cut four more times, in each leg.

20 cuts!

"Hey, Mindy. How come you aren't wearing the clothes that you usually wear?" Ben asked.

"I have to change my clothes everyday, you know." I chuckled.

"You know what I mean, Mindy."

"I'm cold."

"It's 98 degrees outside!"

"It's cold to me. I think I may be coming down with something."

"Well, lift up your sleeves. I need to see in you have a fever or not." Ben replied, staring at me.

"I...th-that's not how you check if I have a fever..." I argued.

"Lift. Them. Up."

I sighed and pulled them up, revealing my cuts on each arm. Ben stared at them in shock, then his red pupils shot up to my face.

"Mindy! Why did you do that?!" Ben shouted.

"Because..."

"Did Jeff say something?"

"I think Jeff....loves another girl..." I said, looking down.

"You act like you hate him!"

"But I don't! I had fallen in love with him. Then, he started talking about some girl he fought with, that he thinks is kinda hot..."I cried.

"Well...I dunno what to tell you..." Ben replied, looking away in thought.

"Please...Just don't tell Jeff..." I said, with tears in my eyes.Ben sighed with a nod."Thank you."

I stood up and walked back upstairs, to Jeff's room. The bed was unmade and my stuffed animals were on the floor, so I cleaned everything up. When I was finished, I got in the bed and started to cry.

Why didn't Jeff love me back? Was it because I didn't have large breasts, and she probably did? Was it because she probably had long, silky, beautiful hair, and all I had was shortly cut, blood red hair? Was it because my skin was pale, and hers was most likely filled with color?

I immediately felt insecure and I cried even harder.

Jeff had to have feelings for me...He had to...Or..maybe Masky will be right...