I'd be dead with out you.

Chapter 31.

It had been two weeks since the guys came home and I don't remember leaving the apartment except for when I went to work. Alan came to the shop with me a couple times and just watched me work or talked with john but he didn't leave much either. We were so wrapped up in each other that we hadn't seen any of our friends at all. I had today off so we stayed in and I worked on my cooking skills. Alan was knocked out on the couch after watching some stupid basketball game that Austin came over to watch.

"Don't forget I switched your day off next week to Thursday," John texted me.

"Okay thanks," I replied while grabbing my calendar and something red caught my eye. I stared at if for a few moments as my heart rate increased rapidly. When I finally processed what I was looking at I dropped the calendar and ran outside. I didn't know anyone who had been through this besides Evan and it so wasn't the right time.

"Honey! I'm home!" I announced walking through the door. I slammed it behind me and tried to keep my cool as I walked back to them. "You're probably going to regret ever giving me this key but I really have to talk to you Evan!" I said quickly opening the door. I saw Austin crying and I didn't really know why. He seemed fine ten minutes ago.

"Angel not now," Evan murmured looking at Austin concerned.

"Evan did you make him cry?" I tried to joke in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Angel It's not the fucking right time!" She yelled making me jump. I wasn't nearly as emotional as Evan had been but I was definitely as jumpy.

"Sorry, sorry," I said retreating to the living room. I couldn't just go home yet. It wasn't possible to face Alan without talking to Evan first. I did text  him telling him where I was though so he wouldn't go postal. The last time I disappeared he nearly died.

"It's okay we can handle it if it does happen," I heard Evan whisper. I wonder if this was about Austin's heart condition. "It's possible it could happen but wouldn't you much rather be optimistic about his? we achieve nothing by getting upset or blaming ourselves. Bad things happen but we can deal with them just like we'll deal with it if it turns out it inherits marfan syndrome from you. There's treatments and ways to manage it, it's no the tend of the world or their life. We will make it's life just as good as every other kid and it'll be happy and as healthy as can be either way. This is not your fault and i'm not going to let you sit here and watch you tare yourself apart over it," Evan said trying to sooth her husband.

"I'm sorry," was all I heard him say in response.

"No don't be. I love you the way you are, just like this baby will. Don't every be sorry for this because you have no control over it." Evan said.

"We could have not had a baby," Austin said confusing me. Didn't he want this?

"But we did, and we were so happy , why can't we just go back to that? at this point there's nothing we can do but accept it," Evan reasoned. "I hate this. I hate seeing you beat yourself up. IF there's a chance that everything will be okay then we just have to pray for it, we have to believe beyond every shadow of a doubt that everything will turn out okay because it's just better for us and the baby." Evan said. I hope he would be okay.

"You're right," Austin said sounding broken. "This is beyond us now. There's nothing we can do," He accepted.

"There is nothing for us to do about changing it's genetics but there's everything for us to do about how it's life will be," Evan said. "You have this so you know better than anyone else that it's treatable, that they can manage it and once we have that part squared away it's life will be perfectly normal and we'll be kick ass parents to an amazing kid," Evan finished. She would make a great mom .