Should've Held Onto You (CHA EUNWOO)

18 - Dream

Music class; usually, it's the class I dread, only because it's full of kids who don't care about the difference between a quarter note and a half note. It's a given that I love music, seeing as I've been friends with Bin and Dongmin all my life, two of the most musical people I know. If you can remember from the picture I have in my room, I used to play guitar, though it's been a while. With training, I feel I could be a pretty decent singer, and I've always wanted to dance, but how can you tell your idol friends that? At this point, it'd just be embarrassing.

"In partners, you must put on some form of routine. From dance, to singing, to playing instruments- do something musical. Be creative, and have fun with it!" The teacher had said.

"Hm, what do you want to do? Dancing is more of a Bin and Minhyuk thing. I prefer singing or playing some instrument," Dongmin tapped his pen against the notepad he held.

Shrugging, I said, "I'm good with whatever." Kids were talking loudly in the big music room, some already singing or playing instruments around the room. Others sat and picked at their nails or were on their phones.

Dongmin began brainstorming, writing down ideas, but I walked over to the grand piano in the corner of the room.

"Does that sound- Miyeong?" Dongmin looked up, noticing I wasn't there. He made his way over to me, looking at me curiously. A small smile formed on his face. "What are you thinking?"

"Can we practice tonight? You have a keyboard right?" I met his gaze hopefully, and I saw his expression instantly soften.

Dongmin nodded. "Yeah, but what are you thinking?"

"You'll see."

"Miyeong!" He whined as I packed up my stuff as the bell rang. "You won't even tell me what we're doing for our project?"

"You'll love it!"

I vaguely heard him groan as I laughed, heading to my next class.

-----

"Your parents aren't here?" I asked, setting my bag down on the couch. It was just as I had remembered. We had taken a cab here.

"Yeah. Working."

"Aw!" I picked up a frame off the fireplace mantel, and he quickly snatched it out of my hands.

"Yah! Don't look at that.." His cheeks were quickly turning a deep shade of red as he placed the baby photo of him in the bath face side down on the mantel.

Giving him a look, I said, "Seriously, Dongmin? I was probably there when this was taken, sitting on the toilet or something more embarrassing." And he laughed.

When we entered his room, it was pretty similar to how it was over two years ago, but there were papers scattered on the floor near his music setup, more paper all over his desk. His bed was neatly made, as he's always been pretty neat. It's funny to see the difference between his living and work environment. Usually it's the other way around- messy room, clean desk.

Sighing, he said, "Sorry.. Let me just clear some of this up."

As he began shuffling through papers, I sat on his bed, looking at his bedside table on which sat another piece of sheet music, an old and cracked iPod, and a picture of me. Smiling, I chose not to bring it up.

"Ok," He turned around in his rolling office chair, "What'd you have in mind?"

I moved to sit at the end of his bed, facing him. "Do you know how to play Miracles in December by EXO, by chance?"

His eyes lit up. "That's perfect."

"So you know how to play it?"

"I can learn."

I laughed as he quickly opened his laptop, and the sheet music began printing. For a while, I watched him hack through the music. He certainly was talented. I couldn't help but watch him, how he bit his lip, trying to get a rhythm just right, how he tapped his foot occasionally..

"Miyeong?"

"Huh?" I jumped slightly, and he was now looking at me with a slight smirk on his face. Damn him.

"Let's try to run a bit of it, okay? Do you want to sing?"

"Yeah, sure, if you want to focus on learning the piano for right now," I say on the comfy chair he had beside his desk, and he began to play.

"Boiji anhneun neol chajeuryeogo aesseuda," I sang. We got about a quarter of the way through the song when he began struggling with the notes, so we stopped. "It sounds really good. It's amazing that you can sight read that fast."

Shrugging, he turned to me in the chair. "Practice, I suppose. You have a nice voice.. Why didn't I ever know?"

I shrugged back.

"You know.. With a voice like that, I could get you in with Fantagio."

"What?"

"Then your dreams could come true, too!"

"Dongmin.." I shook my head, "It's far too late for me to become an idol." I gave a laugh. "I would've had to have started dancing when I was five, like Minhyuk or something."

He frowned. "It's never too late to follow your dreams and do what you love."

"What is my dream?" He didn't answer me, looking out his window in thought. I continued, "Fame isn't for me. That's your scene, Dongmin.. Me? I need the privacy that comes with being completely and utterly.. normal."

I think he was disappointed. He has all these plans, it's almost as if he's always had them, but never got the chance to voice them. I don't know if he expected some magic to take place and we could be together and best friends and coworkers or something, but I couldn't help but feel bad. It just wasn't for me.

"You know," He broke the silence, "I like that you call me Dongmin."

I shifted my gaze to him, but he still wasn't looking at me.

"Keeps me grounded.. It reminds me of who I am and how I got here. It reminds me to keep being me through all of this, and that I'm still the Lee Dongmin from two years ago, and I always will be."

I didn't know what to say.

"So thank you."

Dongmin smiled at me before turning back to the keyboard, working out the next part of the song.