Should've Held Onto You (CHA EUNWOO)

39 - Debut

"So here I have to do the product rule and the chain rule, right?" I asked, biting on the end of my pencil as I stared at the math problem. Maybe if I stared hard enough it'd work itself out.

"Yup! You're really getting the hang of this," Jinwoo complimented, his eyes squinting as he smiled widely. He's too precious.

Scoffing I replied, "Wait until I've actually solved it to say anything."

He laughed, uttering some words of encouragement as I worked on the problem. When I finished, surprisingly triumphant, he gave me a high five. "With this, you're on your way to an A again."

"Because of you," I complimented before frowning, "I'm just upset I slipped in the first place.."

"Hey, it happens to the best of us. You have a lot to focus on; school work, the musical.. love.. SM Entertainment.."

My head snapped to look at him as he gave me a small smile. With a sigh of frustration, I groaned, "Damn it, Minhyuk. Look, I'm not trying out for SM, Johnny oppa just thought I'd be a good fit, but he was wrong."

"Miyeong, what do you want to do? No fears." His eyes bore into mine, and I sighed. "Because I think you want to give this a shot. And no one has to know you did. You have zero obligation to tell anybody anything."

"I just don't like keeping things from my friends," I confessed, "And you're not being honest if you say you think I'm SM Entertainment material."

Shifting more to face me, he shrugged, "Why not? You're pretty and you can sing incredibly well."

"I'm not like.. Red Velvet or Girls' Generation. And my styles more stereotypical boy group anyways."

"I'm just saying," Jinwoo said softly, "Do what your heart says. Even if you audition, who's to say you'll make it? And if you do, you don't have to accept. You're not losing anything unless you choose to lose confidence in yourself- you can only gain experience and knowledge."

Nodding slowly, I replied, "Thank you. For everything."

He smiled that smile again, "Now back to calculus!"

——-

"I kind of want to ask her to the formal," Myungjun pointed to a girl in his year from the lunch line. She was seated with many other people, a boys hand entertwined with hers.

"Uh, I think she's taken Myungjun, sorry.." I bit my lip.

"We can't go as friends?"

"Do you even know her?"

"I know of her."

All of us exchanged looks as we walked to the classroom.

"Anywayssss," I drew out as we sat down, "About the formal. I want to call off the stupid date rule thing."

At this, their heads all snapped up to look at me, Sanha's sandwich falling from his mouth. Sumi continued eating.

"What, why? There's this really hot girl in my Language class!" Minhyuk whined.

Rolling my eyes, I said, "You can go with whoever you want, but I think it'd be nice to not feel the pressure of having to get a date. We can just go as friends."

I watched Jinwoo glance at Sumi so quick I almost missed it. "I think that's a great idea, Miyeong. Your first formal back with us, spent with all of us as friends. It'll remind us how strong our bond it."

"Yuck! I didn't know I ordered cheese with my hamburger!" Minhyuk joked.

"I think it's a good idea," Dongmin sent me a smile.

But I could see Bin looking disappointed.

——-

"Can I get more soda please?"

The table laughed at a joke Bin told as the waiter refilled Dongmin's drink.

"Ok, so there's an actual reason why we gathered here," Dongmin said, taking a sip from his drink. "JinJin hyung?"

Jinwoo nodded, facing Sumi and I with a smile.

The boys had called Sumi and I here to a pretty upscale restaurant, saying that they would pay. I didn't really know why we were here, but they convinced us.

"An actual reason that's not feeding my appetite with delicious food?" Sumi smirked.

Jinwoo gave a laugh, "Actually yes... We officially have a debut date!"

All the boys smiled at us, Myungjun doing jazz hands.

"What?! Oh my god, guys!" Sumi squealed.

"That's amazing!" I smiled widely. "I would hug you guys, but there's a table.."

They laughed.

"So when is it?" I asked excitedly.

"A month from now."

Sumi scrunched up her eyebrows, "A month? Isn't that like really soon?"

"Well," Bin answered, "The dates actually been discussed for a while now, but we weren't allowed to say anything."

Sanha added, "We were told that if we worked hard, the date would become permanent. I guess we've done well!"

"I'm so happy for you guys.." I fawned.

Sumi nodded, "So I guess we're about to be friends with major celebs right? Everyone's going to want to know you."

"Hopefully people like our stuff. But we're not 'celebrities,'" Dongmin chuckled. "We're just us. And we're finally getting closer to our dreams."

At that moment, Jinwoo made eye contact with me. It was like he was looking into my soul, questioning me. What's your dream? I didn't know. It feels like I've always lived my life for other people; my parents, Jay and Sarah, Sumi and Astro. It feels strange to be contemplating something so focused on myself and my wants and desires.

"Miyeong?" Sumi called beside me.

Snapping out of it, I said, "Oh, I'm sorry, what?"

She raised an eyebrow at me as Sanha said,

"We were talking about how the musical's going."

"Is the musical turnout going to be insane with you guys debuting?" Sumi asked, getting back into the normal conversation.

——-

A/N- I'm sorry for the forever long break- life's hectic right now, but I hope you enjoyed!