Should've Held Onto You (CHA EUNWOO)

38 - Audition

"Noona," I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned to see Sanha, a timid yet curious look on his face.

With a smile, I asked, "What can I do for you?" As we were talking I began walking toward the empty classroom we ate lunch in since it was too cold to eat outside like we usually did. However, as I began moving, Sanha grabbed my arm gently, causing me to stop. "Huh?"

"Miyeong.. what's going on with you and Eunwoo hyung?"

There it was, the question I'd been dreading and had nearly forgotten would be asked. It hadn't actually been that long since Sanha overheard Dongmin flirting with me on the winter trip, but with the never-ending chaos of life, it had slipped my mind.

To be honest, I didn't really know what to tell him. Should I be honest with him? Should I make up some stupid scenario that would definitely be believable but I'd kind of feel bad? In the end, I settled for being sort of vague, but not lying.

"Uh, well.. We're kind of figuring out how we feel... about each other. We don't really want to tell anyone yet since we're not really sure where anything's going.." I nervously explained, chewing on the inside of my lip, gripping my lunch tray tightly in my hands.

But Sanha smiled and nodded. "Don't worry," he began walking, me falling in step beside him (obviously he was taking small steps for me), "I won't tell the rest of the group."

I muttered a small thanks, slightly embarrassed as I'd never really had a serious conversation with the youngest member of Astro, however I knew I could trust him.

Right before we entered the room, he said sincerely, "You're good for him."

——-

"Park Miyeong," The teacher called me as the bell rang, signaling the end of math class.

Dongmin sent me an encouraging smile before I made my way up to the front desk. When the other students had all left, the teacher spoke.

"Miyeong, I'm sure you know why I'm speaking with you. You're one of my best students, yet your test scores are only getting lower. I talked to some of your other teachers, and they agree that your focus has been lacking. You're a star student, Miyeong. You know that."

"I'm sorry, Seonsaengnim.. I've been very distracted lately, but I know that's not an excuse," I bowed my head. How could I look him in the eye?

"You can tell me what's going on, Miyeong."

And so I did. Partially. I left out the fact that I was caught in between a weird love triangle and my best friend's broken heart is taking a toll on me. I settled for "friend drama". But I spoke on the musical and the recent death of a friend and my hurried trip to America, which was only making me further behind.

"I truly want to focus, it's just been hard." The last thing I wanted was to drop the musical or something. I couldn't! Especially not as a lead. Not to mention, I really enjoyed it. I just need to work harder..

"I think the best option for you would be to get a temporary tutor to get caught up on the material you're behind on. Normally, I would ask the top student in this class currently to help you, but seeing as that is Lee Dongmin, I think it's best if we go with someone different. As well as you two mesh together, I think it could be good for you to have time away from him." It was like he knew. It was as if he could see the gears turning in my head. I didn't have to say anything. "How about a senior? Park Jinwoo? I know you're friends, and he was one of the top students from last year."

And so I made a point to ask him later on. Surprisingly, I didn't dread extra study time.

——-

"Awesome, everyone, take a ten minute break."

I walked over to my water bottle off stage, unscrewing the cap and taking a swig. We were working on dance numbers for the musical, and I was working extra hard.

Noticing a paper sticking out of my book that I left out of my bag, I tilted my head curiously. I grasped the paper in my hand, setting the water bottle down. In bold letters at the top of the page, it read:

SM ENTERTAINMENT AUDITION FORM

With a confused look, I met the eyes of Johnny, who was leaning against the armrest of one of the auditorium chairs near the aisle. He sent me a wink, and I looked down once more, partly to more closely observe the paper and also to avoid his gaze. At the bottom of the paper was a blue sticky note which said, "I think you'd do great."

Ever since Dongmin began his journey to stardom (I'm talking elementary school when he decided he wanted to be an actor), I'd begun my journey in the opposite direction. I told myself and everyone around me that I never yearned for the limelight, that a normal life was for me, that my talent wasn't good enough and didn't need to be known. I even told Dongmin that just a while back. Now, in this moment, im not sure what compelled me to begin filling out the form right then and there, but I did. After all, should I sign with an agency want me in some weird occurrence, I'd never choose SM. Don't get me wrong, they yield amazing results and talented artists, but their standard of beauty is exceptionally high, and I just don't think I'd fit in there. Trust me, I'll preach about SM's artists any day. From EXO to Red Velvet to NCT; I love them all.

So why did I fill out the form?

"What are you working on?"

I too-hurriedly put my book on top of the form I was filling out, causing Rocky to raise an eyebrow. I gave him a sheepish grin.

He slowly reached for the paper, and I swatted his hand away many times, but after a while his threats of causing a scene made me give in.

"SM Entertainment?!" He whispered in a shocked tone, gripping the paper tightly. He brought it up to his face and squinted as if he hadn't read it correctly. "Nope, that's what it says.. You're auditioning??"

"No!" I stood up to feel less small next to his standing figure. "Yes.." I slouched down in insecurely. "I don't know.." I hugged, flopping back into my chair.

Rocky sat beside me. "Does Sumi know about this?"

I shook my head, not meeting his gaze.

"Does Eunwoo?"

I shook my head again.

"Miyeong, does anyone know about this?"

"Johnny does," I have a small, awkward laugh.

"Breaks over, back to work kids!"

Sighing, Rocky handed the paper back to me. "Don't work on this here."