Should've Held Onto You (CHA EUNWOO)

7 - Breakdown

MJ oppa, as he wanted me to call him, offered to drive me home. Well, at first they wanted Sumi and I to spend the night in the practice room with them, which was weird enough, but I had told my mother I'd be home. She was pretty happy to hear that I had already made friends. She'd be even more happy to find out who they were.

Sumi was getting picked up by her parents, so she didn't need a ride.When MJ stood to give me a ride, both Bin and Dongmin stood up abruptly, saying in sync,

"I'm coming too."

"Ok, ok, calm down. But just so you know, you're both sitting in the back," MJ laughed, leading us out to his car.

The car ride was silent, besides the scary sounds MJ's car would make and me giving him directions. He tried to turn the radio on, but it sputtered before making a cracking sound. He assured that it "does that sometimes". I prayed JinJin oppa's car was more stable.

When we reached my apartment complex, I thanked MJ for the ride, saying goodbye to the two fussy boys in the backseat.

"I'll walk you up," they both said at the same time, glaring at one another.

"Um.." I smiled sheepishly as they argued.

"No, I will," Dongmin smirked at him.

"Haha, no, I will," Bin laughed, like it was a joke.

Dongmin's smile turned to a glare, as he countered, "I've known her longer."

"She likes me more."

"I'm older than you."

"By like a month."

"Guys!" MJ shouted. "You're making hyung's head hurt." I quietly chuckled as he referred to himself in the third person.

Shaking my head, I opened my door to leave. "Don't worry about it. I appreciate it, really, but I can make it on my own."

"But-"

"It's fine," I bowed to them. "Thanks for the ride, MJ oppa. I'll see you all tomorrow." And with a wave, I got the hell out of there. As I entered the building, I laughed a little to myself. Poor MJ.

That night at dinner, my dad asked me if I had a good time with my friends.

"Ne," I smiled thinking about them. "I think we'll continue to get along really well. They're really funny."

"What's their names?" He asked, taking a bite of his food.

My mom looked really happy for me, which made me all the more happy to tell them.

"Do you remember Sumi, Dongmin, and Bin?" I asked.

Her eyes widening, my mother dropped her forks. "Yi Sumi?! And Moon Bin and Lee Dongmin?"

"Mhm, they're in my classes, and we've picked up where we left off." I told them all about Astro, and they were amazed, remembering eight year old Dongmin and Bin pushing Sumi and I on the swing set years ago. "So I'm also friends with the rest of Astro now. There's MJ, or Myungjun, Rocky, or Minhyuk, JinJin, or Jinwoo, and Sanha. They're all super talented, it's really impressive."

"You're going to have to bring them all around this weekend when your father and I are off work. It'd be nice to see Binnie, Dongmin, and Sumi again. And you're other friends seem lovely," Eomma smiled at me, and I nodded, assuring them that I would if they weren't busy. Appa informed me that him and Eomma would be going back to work tomorrow and that I should try to get as much unpacking done as I could.

It was around seven pm, and I had done all my homework already and unpacked more things. I was lying on my back in bed, scrolling through Instagram. It was weird to see everyone from America having fun and remembering that I'm not there anymore. As I was about to like a post, my phone began to ring in my hands, "Blue Jay" coming on the screen. I looked at it for a moment, confused, I checked the time. It was indeed seven, which meant it was three in the morning there.

"Hello?" I answered in English.

"Hi, Miyeong." His voice sounded sad, like he was crying almost.

"Jay?" I sat up in bed, "What's wrong, Jay?"

"I really miss you."

My heart shattered. I was having fun here. To be honest, I barely even thought of them much today, yet he was in pain. I hated myself for it.

"I miss you too, Jay," I sighed.

"I just.. it's only been a day, so it seems pathetic, but I don't know what to do. My brother's getting worse, and my father won't listen to me. And I hate that I'm bothering you with my problems when you're a world away from me. But everything hurts, and I miss having you beside Sarah and I." His brother had been in the hospital for a year now. He had leukemia, and things were improving when I left, but I guess not anymore. Jay has always fought for his father's approval. Back home, we used to sit together late at night and just let everything out.

"Oh, Jay. I'm so sorry. Continue to have hope for Collin. He'll improve if we continue to be positive. Don't worry about your dad right now, he's struggling with this too. Let him know you care, okay?"

"You always know what to say."

"What are friends for, right?" I grinned a bit, still feeling a little upset.

He sniffled slightly, talking in a hushed voice. "Miyeong? I really like you. I think I love you."

I said nothing. What could I say? I didn't feel the same way, and I couldn't lie to him, that wouldn't be fair at all. No matter how much he was hurting, I couldn't string him along just to make him feel better temporarily. I wasn't that type of person. And, for some reason, pictures of Dongmin filled my brain. I shook my head, trying to rid my thoughts of him. Why must you think like this brain?

"Miyeong? Are you there?"

"I'm here." I closed my eyes. I wish I had Sarah's help here. "Go to sleep, Jay. I'll text you and Sarah at lunch tomorrow. If you need something, don't hesitate to ask, but for now, Sarah will be there for you if you need her, okay?"

"Okay.. I love you Miyeong." With every word, my heart sunk more. I felt so bad or him, and as his voice came through the phone all cracked and melancholy, I wanted to cry for him and take away all his pain.

Ignoring him, I said, "Goodnight." I waited for him to reply the same before hanging up.

Hanging up the phone, I sighed, laying back in my bed. I sent a text to Sarah telling her what was going on before falling asleep.