I am doomed.
Four months ago, Mika left me with nothing but a note. I did everything to search for her, or maybe not everything because I still didn't know where she was.
How can someone be so dumb, yeah?
I knew I felt something that night when she said that she's in love with me. I felt it before, too – before I met Dennise.
Mika was a very special person for me, even before Dennise came into the picture; she was like everything to me.
I admit I had a crush on her way back when we were younger, but then, things change when Dennise and Ara came into our lives.
When she left, I felt like she chose Ara over me. Was this how she felt that night?
Damn, it hurts.
There was a light feeling in my stomach the moment those words of confession left her mouth. All I wanted was to hug her and ask her to stay that night but—
"Hey, you're zoning out again."
Dennise happened.
"Oh sorry, Den. I'm just thinking of some...thing." I faked a smile.
I've been faking a smile all this time; I could be a champion of it. I just can't smile like I used to now – ever since that night.
"Okay ka lang ba? You don't look fine." she reached for my hand.
I caressed the knuckles of hand, the pale complexion reminded me of someone, and I miss holding her hand, too.
"Okay lang ako, Den. Don't worry." I pulled my hand away and stood up.
"Order lang muna ako ng ice cream natin okay?"
She stared at me for seconds before nodding. She was obviously reading me like a book, trying to decipher the hidden codes of being broken.
I really am broken, I am incomplete. If only Mika was here, she'll know it even I'm not saying anything.
After Mika left, I was devastated. I lost my partner and after she left, she took a big part of me, too. If only she's back here, then everything would be fine, I think.
"But she's not here." I whispered.
"Pardon, ma'am?"
The staff of the ice cream shop we're staring at me like I just said something wrong.
Of course there's something wrong, Mika's gone.
I shook my head as I ordered, "I'll have strawberry and chocolate ice cream, please."
I sighed after he got my order, my best friend is gone but she's affecting me more than she ever did when she was still here.
I spent days asking Mika's family and her friends where she was, but they would just say that they don't know – or they weren't allowed to.
*
"Tita, please, sabihin niyo naman po sa'kin kung nasaan si Mika." I pleaded.
"I'm sorry, Ly, pero kabilin-bilinan niyang 'wag ipagsabi kahit kanino, kahit sa'yo." tita Bhaby said.
"Is she okay?" I gulped. "Magkasama pa rin po ba sila ni Ara?"
"She will be." tita Bhaby smiled. "Yes, Ara is taking good care of her raw."
I should be the one taking care of her. Not Ara or anyone. It should be me.
"Thank you, tita, and sorry po sa abala." I smiled apologetically.
