"PUTANGINA!" Alyssa screamed her heart out.
Alyssa and her friends were on a hilltop somewhere outside the city proper.
She drunk almost half of the bottle she was carrying on her hands, before looking at her friends who were also drinking their own beers.
"Ano'ng mali sa akin? Tell me, Amy," Alyssa slurred, "What's wrong with me?"
Amy and Bea remained silent as they were watching their friend bathe herself in alcohol.
"Pangit ba ako? Kapalit-palit ba ako?" Alyssa laughed half-heartedly, quoting Liza Soberano's movie line.
"Tangina, si Liza nga na napakaganda, iniwan eh!" Alyssa said before laughing.
"Actually, Liza aka Cali left Enrique aka Gio in that movie, ate Ly," Bea countered.
"Whatever," Alyssa said before sipping her beer, "The fact is, iniwan pa rin siya ni Enrique kasi napagod siya kakasuyo kay Liza na napakamanhid at close-minded! Tangina nila."
Amy smirked, "To whom are you most kampi ba? Cali or Gio?"
"Wala!" Alyssa retorted, "Puro sila mga tanga! But see, they still ended up together in the movie!"
"Cliché," Bea nodded.
"Pero hindi nangyayari 'yung ganun sa totong buhay," Alyssa whispered, "Kahit ginawa mo na lahat, kahit binigay mo na lahat, kahit sinabi mo na lahat – balewala pa rin."
"Kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao, kung hindi ka niya mahal, wala pa rin. Balewala pa rin lahat!" Alyssa laughed bitterly.
Amy and Bea glanced at each other before looking back at Alyssa.
"Iiwan ka pa rin niya," Alyssa continued, "Kahit pinaramdam mo na sa kanya kung gaano mo siya kamahal, kahit gaano siya ka-importante.... iiwan ka pa rin niya."
Alyssa sits on the ground, "Tangina, di'ba?"
She opened another beer bottle and drinks it up till it's half empty.
"Bakit ganun?" she continued, "Kung ayaw niya na, sana man lang sinabi niya para hindi na tumagal pa ng ganito."
"She made me feel special at some point, I know I wasn't just assuming because I can feel it," Alyssa huffed. "I told her that I liked her, I thought kahit konti may magbabago, but nothing."
Another tear fell from her eye and she wiped it harshly off her face.
"I tried to understand her, understand everything. Nilamon ko na nga ng buong-buo yung pride ko, but still, ang tigas niya," Alyssa grunted.
"Maybe she really doesn't feel the same, Ly," Amy patted her shoulder.
"Yeah," Alyssa murmured, "I guess, she doesn't."
Alyssa suddenly let her body fall on the ground, not minding of she'll get herself hurt.
"U.T.I. eh," Alyssa smiled bitterly, staring at the sky, "Umasa tapos iniwan."
"Baka nadala ka lang sa... attachment," Bea cautiously said, "You know what I mean?"
Amy and Bea also lay down beside Alyssa; the latter became quiet for a while before talking.
"Alam ko, alam ko namang walang kami," Alyssa sighed, "Alam kong hindi naman ako pwedeng magreklamo, but still, bakit ganun siya? Bakit ang manhid niya?"
"Give her space, Ly," Amy said.
"I gave her everything she needed," Alyssa mumbled, "I even gave her, her freedom."
