I promised myself to take her back, I have to try. I have to make a move right away. If not now, I might not be able to take her back ever again. If I have to take her back, it should be now or never.
I saw her smile with him, but it wasn't the same anymore, it doesn't reach her chinky eyes.
I heard her laugh, but the melody was gone, it was a dead laugh.
I saw her eyes, but it doesn't twinkle anymore, the love in her eyes was gone.
She's not the Mika I used to know-I used to love.
"I have to bring back #TeamBabe!" I said after hiding the letter she gave me.
- - -
"What are you doing here, Alyssa?"
She was surprised, why wouldn't she? It's a cold and dark evening but I'm in front of her parents' house right now beaming at her.
"It's our anniversary, babe." I said.
"In case you forget, Alyssa, let me remind you", she trailed off.
"We broke up three months ago, I know." I continued for her.
"Then why are you-"
"Because I love you. I still do, Mika. Always have and always will."
"Alyssa-"
"No, let me finish. Just listen to me, please." I took her hand. Her silence was a signal for me to continue.
"When you left me, I realized a lot of things I was unconsciously neglecting when we were still together. Things that was left unsaid and I knew now that I was to blame. I was so fucking dense." I wiped the lone tear that fell from my eye.
"I knew now that you want me to fight for you and I'm sorry if I didn't, but now I will. I am a lot braver now; I am not letting you go ever again. I will listen more to my heart than the people around us, I will always listen to you because you're holding my heart. I won't do dumb things that would cause a breakup between us." I cupped her face as I look intently in her eyes.
"I am nothing without you, Mika Aereen Reyes. The feeling of pain in the pit of my stomach, and all through my heart is the sickening sensation of lost love. It is craving for your attention, your affection and every part of your body and soul. After you left, nothing was ever enough for me. They could have given me the world and I would still have been left wanting you. Craving for your love-craving for you."
"But I don't want to ruin your life, Alyssa." she whispered.
"I already ruined it when I was so dumb and let you go, because in all honesty, you are my life."
"But Jerome-"
"Do you love him?" I asked the hardest question I've ever asked in my life.
She didn't answer. She just stood there silently looking back at me with those beautiful yet sad eyes-tears are starting to form. I took her silence as a 'yes'. I wiped my tears as I was slowly taking a step away from her. Every step seems so heavy and so painful.
"Happy anniversary, babe." I said with a smile as I turned my back at her and started to walk away.
She was crying hard. I can't stand seeing her cry, especially when it's because of me-stupid Alyssa. I'd rather take all the pain than to see her cry. It hurts me a hundred times more to see her in pain because of me.
"I will only make you cry because of happiness, babe." I whispered as she was lying beside me.
"Promise?" Mika looked at me.
"I promise."
It was a long time ago; I told her that tears of joy would be the only tears I wanna see falling from her beautiful chinky eyes. I guess I'm not good with promises. I should stop hurting her more because it hurts me the most.
I think this is goodbye.
No more #TeamBabe.
