Letting Go (Niall Horan AU)

Chapter 45

Niall
...........

It's the day after Ambers funeral and we're packing up to go back to London. After almost two weeks in Octobers home town she's almost bagging to go back. I understand that she has too many bad memories here that fade out the good ones, and understand I her feeling.

We board the plane after bidding our farewells to Ambers family and Octobers own. Just after the plane takes off October is already asleep and all I can do is wait until we're back in London at last.

When we reach the frat house Harry rushes out of the house and hugs October close, stroking her hair.

"You'll be okay Toby, you'll be okay." He whispers to her as she softly cries into his chest. I can't help but to feel jealous. Of both of them really. Harry is hugging my girlfriend and comforting her, and October gets to hold the man I thought I loved they way I never can again.

When October quiets down Harry helps take our bags inside and we leave them at the bottom of the stairs. I find the notes and new assignments Harry collected from our professors for us. I shuffle through the stack until I finally give into my boredom and decide to go hangout with Tober and Harold.

"What're ya watchin?" I ask as I plop down next to October and him. I see they are too close for my liking and pull her onto my lap.

"Forrest Gump." Harry answers in his slow voice.

I nod and reach into their popcorn bowl taking a handful and shoving it into my mouth.

"Niall you eat like a pig." October laughs picking up the popcorn that fell our of my mouth into her hair.

"You know you love it." I say with my mouth full.

"Your disgusting." She says rolling her eyes and smiling.

"Could you keep it down over there? In trying to watch a movie you twats." Harry says.

I throw some popcorn at him.
"Aw c'mon Haz don't be so serious all the time." I tease.

"Whatever." He says rolling his eyes like my girlfriend often does.
"Wait... Did you just call me Haz?" Harry asks looking over at me.

"Erm- ya I did sorry." I say turning pink. "It was just friendly ya know." I stuttered trying to say I didn't mean anything of it besides being friendly.

"No don't be sorry, I was just caught off guard. In fact I- I kinda miss you calling me that." He says also turning pink.

"Okay." I breathe out. And the air is filled with pure awkward.

"Okay..." October Says trying to clear away the awkward but fails.

We watch the rest of the movie in silence then proceed to my bedroom.

Harry
............

After, Niall and Toby leave I wash the dishes to try to keep my mind off of everything.

It works, but too soon all the dishes are sparkling and I return to my bed. As I lie down and stare at the dark ceiling I can't help but realized I'm fucked.

All these feelings I have are gumbled up in one big mess. I love Niall and I just can't seem to stop and realize that I can't ever have him again. And Toby. Dear lord Toby makes me so happy and she understands me, and shes just so beautiful, and I can't help but wonder... Am I falling in lo- no. No, I am not. I can't, not with Nialls girlfriend. Not with the girl that is finally revealing the old Niall, not the person who can finally love Niall the way he deserves. I can not ruin it for them. They're saving each other and I refuse to be the one to tear them apart.

After all I put Niall through he deserves Toby, and Toby deserves him.

At this point the most I deserve is a kick in the balls.

Wow I'm such a dick, always have been. Maybe I was a bigger dick a couple years ago but the dickness is still there. Is dickness a word? I have no idea.

I hear Toby and Niall laugh upstairs, and realize I may love them both, but I can never ever let that ruin them. I guess this is my punishment from god. Karma has finally made its way to me after all these years. I have to suffer just being friends with the two people I care most about, and it's going to kill me everyday. But I'm going to deal with it anyways, because being around these two people is worth the heartache.

Hey there, you finally got a chapter to six votes :) thank you so much maybe this one can get 7???? I'll update when it does, love you guys. Bye. - tris