Unbroken

18

"You'll never hear me say that you, the real you, is anything but good." - Sam Winchester

I woke up to the sound of fire crackling.

"Did you really think you could get out of here?" Lucifer asked as I opened my eyes.

"No! No! No!" I yelled as I stood up and grabbed the bars. I pushed on them and pulled on them until my hands felt broken. "No." I said weakly again as I fell to my knees and started crying.

"Little Lena finally broke." Lucifer said. "The best part is I had nothing to do with it, I can just wait and watch you destroy yourself."

"Shut up." I mumbled.

"Oh and what's going on between you and Sam. Do you have the hots for him?" He asked.

I didn't answer.

"Oh you do, isn't that just delish, both my puppets found eachother." He said.

"He's not your puppet, I'm not your puppet!" I yelled at him.

"It doesn't matter because you're stuck down here with me and he's up there." He pointed out.

"At least they're all away from you." I said. "Which reminds me."

I walked toward him and he stood up. He knew I was mad. He backed up a bit. I punched him in the side of the face. "That's for Crowley." I told him.

"I'm getting real sick of this Lena." He said holding onto his cheek.

"I'm getting real sick if you too." I said walking back to my side if the cage.

I felt him grab my wrist, I turned around surprised and scared that he could touch me now. I tried to pull away but his grip was strong.

"Maybe I could cut your time here short." He said.

His hand went around my neck and he held me up in the air. I remembering him doing the same thing to Rowena, except there was no one here to save me. I held onto his wrist and tried to claw myself out of his grip. I could feel myself getting light headed and there was no use in crying out for help.

"Wake up! Come on Lena wake up." I heard Sam plead.

I opened my eyes and I was back in his room. The light was on and he was standing over me with his hands on my shoulders.

I pushed him away from me. I jumped off the bed and moved to the other side of the room. "Stay away from me." I yelled.

"Lena it's okay, it's me." He said.

"Its not real." I cried.

"What's not real Lena?" He asked keeping his distance.

"I don't know, I don't know what's real." I said falling to the ground. I kept my hands over my ears like I was trying to keep in what sanity I had left.

I could see Sam kneel in front of me through the tears. He pulled my hands from my head. "I'm real Lena." He said putting my hands on the sides of his face. "I'm here. I'm real."

I wrapped my arms around him and he pulled me in again. He held me like a child. I would have felt stupid if I was so messed up already. I was soaking the collar of his shirt but I don't think he cared.

The door to the bedroom swung open. I jumped. In one hand I had a fist full of Sam's shirt and the other was controlling a ball of fire that stopped inches from Dean's face then faded away. My grip loosened on Sam.

"What happened?" Dean asked joining us on the floor and putting an arm around me.

"A nightmare." Sam almost whispered.

"You're okay Lena, we've got you." Dean said.

"Do you?" I asked wiping away tears. "How do I know this isn't a dream, I could wake up and Lucifer could be sitting across from me again."

Castiel appeared in the room. He keeled beside Sam and touched my forehead. Making it easier to catch my breath and stop shaking.

"What did you do?" Sam asked.

"I calmed her by slowing her heart rate." Cas said.

"Thanks." I mumbled. "I need some fresh air." I said wiping the last of the tears from my face. I got up and left everyone in the room. They were probably more confused than I was.

I walked up the stairs and put of the bunker with bare feet. I kept walking down the road until I found a patch of grass to sit down in. I watched the sun, it was still trying to make it's way into the sky. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The smell of dirt and grass tickled my nose.

It was a cold morning and the wind shook the branches above me and the tall grass tickled my bare legs. I felt so small and weak and nothing scared me more. I wondered what my dad would think of me now. He raised me to be a strong hunter, fight and win or die fighting. I was always told to kill the monster no matter what. But at this point this only thing I'm killing is myself. He would be disappointed, I'm not the hunter he wanted me to be, and I'm not the woman my mom believed I would me. I let them both down now.

I tried to think what my dad would do now. He'd push his feelings aside if he had any and look for the next hunt.

I stood up and made my way back to the bunker.

I ran to my room and threw my bag on my bed. I checked my guns to make sure they were loaded and I started stuffing my clothes into my bag.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.

"Going on a hunt, what does it look like?" I asked.

He moved away from the door and sat on my bed. "It looks like you're running away."

"Well I'm not." I told him though I knew it was partly a lie. I was running away from fear and my feelings. Maybe fear of my feelings.

"You're not going anywhere Lena, you're not okay." He said holding onto my arm so I would stop packing.

"Dean I need to go, I need to hunt to clear my mind, and I need to check on Boston." I said pulling out of his grip.

"Those are excuses." He told me.

"No their not." I argued.

He stood from the bed. "Fine the we're going with. It will be the three of us in Boston again."

"No please, can't I go alone." I asked as if I really needed permission.

"No, we are going end of story." He said walking out of the room.

I sighed and fell onto the bed. Dean always wins.