The Hole Within

CHAPTER 36

Most days were spent in a kind of group therapy. Knowing all our stories, Tim would confront each one of us and call us out on the bullshit we used to pad our pain. We had one bathroom break in the morning, had lunch and have one bathroom break in the afternoon. Often, the afternoon sessions would go well into the night, Tim breaking down our defenses. These days were grueling. I would go to bed so emotionally exhausted I would go to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. When we were not in session Tim used as for free labor. We cleaned the house, worked in the rocky yard or went to out to buy groceries. 

Kelly and I were the newest so we always got stuck with the most unpleasant chores. I found that I liked his company. He was funny and often made me laugh. Paired up as we were we spent the majority of our time together. Kelly was often flirtatious and I welcomed the levity. Before long he was spending most evenings in my bedroom where we would talk and laugh. I felt no attraction to him though. He was not good-looking and certainly was not a bad boy. Nevertheless, I accepted his furtive advances. He had very little experience with girls so we mostly made out and fondled one another.

One day we made a grocery run and somehow came across magazine full of erotica. Curious, we purchase a small book and hid it in my bedroom. That evening we were like two young children who had come upon their father's Playboy. We took the book out and begin to read. The erotica was full of acts neither one of us had done. Our excitement grew and so did so did his penis. Still reading, I reached down and unbuttoned his jeans. His dick was hot and hard. He gasped as I eased him out of his pants and shorts and begin to stroke. He put his own hand over mine, showing me how to stroke him the way he liked. I enjoyed the erotica more than the movies I watched with Dave. My imagination was far better at conjuring up beautiful women. Sometimes it was Liz, sometimes it was Diane, sometimes it was a nameless beauty I had seen at the market. Pumping away on his cock with one hand I reached down between my legs and fingered myself while Kelly held the book up with shaking hands for us to read.

Several times Kelly tried to learn how to touch me to make me come, but his clumsy attempts always left me frustrated. Sometimes we would take care of ourselves while reading, reclined side by side on the mattress. One night Kelly asked me to take off my clothes. Then he confided in me that he had never seen a woman naked. I complied and stripped. He watched my body with reverence. We had been reading and we were both aroused. He leaned me back onto the bed and took my left breast and his hand. As he lowered his mouth to my nipple a strange feeling came over me. It was if my nipple were connected to my clit and my excitement mounted. Finally, he moved his mouth down my body, giving gentle kisses as he went. Down my sunken stomach, kissing my jutting hip bones, kissing my mound of black hair as he spread my legs apart. This was a new feeling for me. No one had ever kissed me so gently, so lovingly, no one had caressed my breasts, running their hands over my body. His touch was so gentle it was like a woman's. I felt alive as he brought his mouth to my pulsing pussy. The first stroke of his tongue on my clit caused a fire to ignite deep inside me. I had never felt anything like it. My own fingers had never elicited the same response. Kelly licked, sucked and teased and I came with such force I felt as if my head would explode. Though I was frequently made to give Dave head, he had never returned the favor. This was heaven and Kelly liked it too as he began to tease me with his tongue again, one hand working his rock-hard cock. The second time was even more intense and I cried out as the orgasm rocked through me. Apparently, Kelly had come to as he was wiping at his hand and groin with his discarded shirt. Thus, started our nightly ritual. We went through our days exchanging leering looks, anticipating the orgasm filled night. Kelly began sleeping with me on my mattress, after a while he just moved in. We never had intercourse, though. Kelly said he was not ready and that was just fine by me. When his mouth was on me I could just lie back and close my eyes and as orgasm after orgasm ripped through my body. I could imagine I was with anyone, anywhere. Kelly's touch was always gentle, his lips always soft, not at all like the rough hands and mouth of a man. Out of obligation, I did give him head a few times but he did not care much for it and I hated it.