The Hole Within

CHAPTER 58

By now Mel had begun working late. I would call her at work and ask when she would be home. She always had a deadline that she had to meet before finally leaving. Often, I would cry telling her that I missed her. Again, she would reiterate the impending deadline and tell me she had to get back to work. I was so intensely lonely. I did not have the energy to do anything so I would lie on the couch and watch reruns of The Andy Griffith Show, I Love Lucy and Judge Judy. We only had about five channels so the options were few. I would lie there and cry because I did not feel good, because I was alone, because I was depressed, because Mel was still at work. I now know that Mel purposely stayed late at work. She dreaded coming home. She dreaded fixing a supper that I could not eat. She dreaded the sickness that greeted her when she walked through the door. She dreaded facing her partner who was wasting away. This was not what she had bargained for, to be caretaker of her sick partner. She hated me. She loved me. And in the end, she stood by me through it all.

My only real entertainment was our neighbor Rachel. Rachel was a homely Hispanic lady with a fourteen-year-old son. She had no job and lived on state assistance. Rachel was a heavy drinker. She had a boyfriend and it was a violent relationship. He would come over and they would get drunk then the fighting would start. I can hear them screaming obscenities at each other. Often this would end in violent crashes and loud bangs against the wall as he threw her around the room and beat on her. Towards the end of the month, as her welfare check ran out, she would send Rodney, her son, over to knock on my door. I tried to ignore it but the knocking would persist. Rachel sent him two by two to three cigarettes off me for twenty-five cents. Yes, despite my diseased lung, I still smoked. At the end of the month I would see Rodney push a shopping cart with Rachel's television set and sometimes the stereo down the parking lot headed to the pawn shop. By the second week of the next month I would see Robbie return with the said television set and stereo. Every month they would hawk their entertainment. Every month they would go to the pawn shop and retrieve them. When Rodney got an earache or a cold/flu Rachel would call the ambulance to take him to get treatment all on the taxpayer's dime. I despised Rachel and what she stood for. I hated the violence when her boyfriend came over. But it was something to break up the long lonely days.

One day they started drinking in the morning. By late afternoon they were both trashed. I heard the typical shouting and name-calling. The typical crashes in the apartment and the loud bangs against the wall. Suddenly, I heard Rachel's drunken voice yell "He's killing me! Help! Someone please help!" I went to the back door and peered out the window. Rachel was hanging half out of her window bellowing for help. Curious more than concerned, I got a glass and held it up to the wall, my ear pressed against it. They were yelling at each other. She accused him of cheating on her. I heard combinations of profanities that I had never dreamed of. I heard slaps and punches as they fought each other. I heard crashes and thumps against the wall so hard I recoiled from the sound. Would he finally kill her? I vacillated between calling the police and doing nothing. From the sound of it she was provoking him. Calling him names and inviting him to hit her. In the end, my dilemma was taken out of my hands as I saw the strobe lights of the police car and heard the siren outside my front window.

Naturally, I went over to it, pulled aside the shear curtain and watched as the two policemen got out of their patrol car. The cops ascended the stairs, hands ready on their Glocks. Rachel's boyfriend came out of the apartment and the lead cop pulled her gun. This was more excitement that I had had in ages! I was waiting for Rachel's boyfriend to get belligerent, to maybe rush at the oncoming police. But he still was watching them and lit a cigarette. The cops yelled at him to drop to his knees and raised his hands over his head. I was disappointed when he followed their instruction. The lady cop got to him first, holstered her weapon and roughly grabbed one wrist and twisted it behind his back. Then she grabbed the other wrist and did the same, deftly snapping handcuffs on his wrists behind his back. Rachel was now at the door and was still cursing him with her one blackening eye. The other policeman told her to back away, that they had it under control. He attempted to calm her and asked her if she was okay, if she wanted to press charges. "Fuck yeah!" She screamed "That fucking cocksucker has hit me for the last time!" The cops led him down the steps and into the back seat of the patrol car. I could not wait until Mel got home so I can share every sordid detail. The next day, I saw Rodney push the shopping cart, loaded down with the television, stereo and everything else of value. That afternoon her boyfriend was back, she had bailed him out and dropped the charges. Catching me coming home from my treatment she apologized for the noise and explained that they were both drunk and that he did not mean to hurt her. Though curious, I was too sick to listen to her so I did not say much and let myself into our apartment.