The Hole Within

CHAPTER 51

Mel left her job to work for another agency with better pay. I left shortly after and went to work at a group home for emotionally disturbed kids. It was a hard job dealing with those disturbed children. My heart went out to them. I had always been interested in Psychology, going through what I went through and I had taken classes at UVCC. I had an idea that I wanted to work with kids who had been abused but I found the task too daunting. And I was tired. I was fatigued all the time. I did not feel good, though I could not exactly say what was bothering me, I just did not feel myself. I continue to use the pills to keep me going but I was often absent from work. By the end of my three-month probation I was relieved when they let me go. I went home with trepidation hoping that Mel would not be mad at me. Lucky for me she was not home yet. I climbed into bed and slept.

I was still getting my Social Security Disability and Mel got a raise so we were okay financially even though I was unemployed. It was decided that when the lease was up we would go our separate way from . I would see Mel off to work, do the dishes and fall into bed, exhausted. I would wake around mid-afternoon and watch a little television until I grew sleepy again. Mel would wake me when she got home and we would spend the evening together. After several weeks, Mel insisted that I go see a doctor. I went to Dr. Middleton. He diagnosed me with "That damned flu," told me to get plenty of rest and sent me home. So that is what I did. Rested. A lot. For a while Mel was ok with my condition on the weekends. We would get out of bed only to make a food run. Most of our time was spent in a sleepy cycle of arousal, release, satisfaction and sleep. Mel began to grow weary after a month so I went to the doctor again. Dr. Middleton ran blood tests for just about every kind of infection. At the time, I was too uneducated about what was going on in the world to be worried about HIV. He put me on a two-week course of antibiotics and had me schedule a follow up appointment. When I went back in he said that everything was negative except for the hepatitis screen. I had contracted Hepatitis C. He wanted me to go see a gastroenterologist. He did not think the Hep C would be causing my issues so he put me on a two-month round of antibiotics and still my symptoms did not improve.

I was having trouble getting a full breath so the doctor ordered a chest x-ray. Getting the results back, he called me to come to his office. Mel and I went and nervously waited for him in an exam room. Mel eased my tension by making me laugh with her antics. Dr. Middleton came in and told us that there was something concerning on the x-ray, there was a spot that could be cancer or something else so he ordered a CT scan and referred me to a pulmonologist. We were panic-stricken. One never expects to hear the word cancer in a doctors' office. I went through the next two weeks in a daze.

How long was it till the lease was up? Where did you move? And, how was Charlie about going your separate ways?