A Mithzan/Max x Reader. Radiation.

Chapter 11- Guilt

((I'm soo sorry guys! It's been so long since I've updated, I know. I just went on vacation for the Fourth of July, so I've been distracted. I promise I'll write a lot more once I'm home again. I apologize for this, seriously. Please forgive me and enjoy this chapter!)) ((Also someone asked me to write about the pack, so what's your thoughts on that? Tell me if you think I'm adding too many characters. I won't be offended, lol.))

In a haze, you walked side-by-side with Ross all the way back to the tower. You guessed Ross was also in shock, since he barely spoke a word the whole trip back. Not once did he look at you either, his eyes remained fixed on the road ahead until you reached the tower. Ross knocked on the door and Barney opened it. You both walked in and he stared at you in concern.

"Everything go okay guys?" He asked. For the first time since leaving the destroyed raider base, you broke free of your trance. You dropped off your bag next to your office doors and sighed.

"Well, raiders were a piece of cake. In the basement, I um ran into an old friend." Barney watched you carefully.

"Who was it?" He asked.

"Luna. She's dead now." You gave him a half smile and shrugged.

"No way! You killed her?" Barney grinned. "I hope it was painful." He chuckled.

"Well not exactly. She didn't give me much prep time so one bullet to the head was all I could manage." You explained. He walked over and gave you a high five. But your facial expression didn't match the energy in your high five. In fact, your face paled and Barney noticed.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, placing a hand on your shoulder. You sighed.

"Yeah I think so. I just...I killed her. She had dreams...goals. She was a real human and I killed her." You sighed. You had this empty feeling in your chest that no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't shake it.

"General, she tied you to a chair, tortured you, shot your feet, and worst of all she gave you a concussion! This bitch had it coming!" He gestured to his head.

"Barney, I'd appreciate it if you didn't yell at my wife. Thanks." You turned to face Max and when he got closer, you threw yourself into his arms. "Hey, what happened baby?" He asked, wrapping his arms around you firmly.

"It was Luna. I killed her. I should feel happy, but I just don't." You sniffed, talking into Max's chest.

"Hey, don't get upset. It's just your emotions catching up with you." He rubbed your back in comforting circles.

"But..but I kill tons of raiders and other people everyday, and don't feel any guilt. Why now?" You sputtered.

"Sweetie, it's okay to feel guilt. It's a normal human emotion. Eventually you won't feel bad anymore because what happened, happened." You pulled back from his chest.

"Thanks Max, I love you."

"I love you too, darling." You both shared a passionate kiss, and Barney made a puking noise behind you. Max broke the kiss and the moved to punch Barney in the arm, but Barney jumped out of the way. He laughed and walked into the medical office. You stepped away from Max and he placed a quick kiss on your forehead before departing upstairs. Then you decided to check on Adam.

"Hey guys." You greeted as you walked through the door. You saw Adam sitting on the table and Barney using a stethoscope on Adam's bare chest. Adam smiled and waved. You walked over to a chemistry table on the other side of the room and began making some stimpacks. Later, you emptied your bag of weapons and explosives, storing them in their places. Then you went to bed for the night.