The free will ( eng)

1. Recall - Miguel

Hi and welcome to my page! 

 For Swedish readers there is another version already finished, " Den fria viljan".  You find it on the menu.

For all you new readers in wattpad, its better to download the app so you can save wherever you are reading. Under the arrow there is the menu  with all the chapters. If it doesn't show,  just press the upper right corner.  It's also possible to write comments not only in the end of each chapter, byt directly after a paragraph. You can also add a link to a favourite song or something else. 

Below is what I started writing seventeen years ago, when I was very sick and very miserable and only 29 years old. I felt like a hundered. Being a mother and servant of to babies, one age ten and the other 33 and working  100 hour weeks.  It is the beginning of my story.  Maybe I will find the time to write what happened  before and after this story. There is a lot more.

" Sometimes a book leaves you with more questions than answers. They take long time to read because you spend a lot of time not reading, but thinking. Thinking and pondering about the truths of life and if what you read is really true. Often you find that it is, that the author has put words on just that simple truth. Afterwards you feel more complete, content and satisfied, as if you are in some kind of connection with the author and that you also know what he knows and has put in printing. Those are the best books. I hope I also can accomplish that. Writing about questions and facts of life that I have been or are thinking about. There are no real answers, only questions. Someone smart said, the problem with this world is that the ignorant are so sure of themselves and the wise are so full of doubts.... I won't have answers, other authors might have. The important thing is to reflect upon things. And to remember what is true for one person is not necessarily true for another.

A question I have been thinking about a lot is if we really have a choice and a free will to do what we want. Are most people victims of circumstances? It doesn't mean we have to act like victims and play martures. We are given a hand to play with and we try to do the most of it. Sometimes we get to crossroads and have the opportunity to choose a path but that is not always. Sometimes the road just takes us somewhere we don't really want to go, but have no strenght to get off. It takes courage to be true to your soul, says Paulo Coelho. Its very true and shouldn't be so hard to accomplish. So why don't we? What is stopping us? " Everbody" says we always have a choice about what we do and the course of action we take. How true is that really? 1/3 of the planet, the poor who lives on less than 2 USD a day would disagree. What options do they have? " I think I will skip getting water from the will today, or getting wood for the cook-fire, because I need to get my nails done ..." is hardly a thought or choice that crosses their minds. Almost ½ of the rest of the world ( the women) would probably also disagree. Poverty would probably not be their reason, but long and strong cultural traditions, most of them saying that they have to get married, form a family and take care of that family. I have read a lot of books with that theme, of oppressed women ( mostly Islamic or African ).It upsets me that it can still be that way in many countries when we are now so industrialized and "gender-equal" in others.

What could I have done different? Did I really have any choice? Would I do the same again?

A central thing about human beings is that we want to be happy. I think most of us aren't. We chase for it all our lives but the few moments we have when we feel happy are rare. Endless books have beenm written about the subject and how we are going gto achieve it.

I think most people in the industrualised world keeps focusing on other things , like work and family to avoid getting time to feel what they really want.

It all started when I was a child, 15 years old, or a young woman you might say. In some cultures I would have been married already and perhaps expecting the first child. I would probably not have had anything to say about my choice of husband... or if I wanted a child...would I have been a victim? I leave that up to you to decide. Anyway we had recently moved my mother and I, since my parents had broke up. My father wanted to be generous and invited me to go on vacation with him. It sounded lovely. To get away from all the cold and grey in Stockholm on the dullest month of the year.... "