Fatal (Matthew Espinosa) editing

Three

"Arabella, damnit!" My mom yells as I lay on my bed emotionless as she continues to scream at me. "You could have warned me about you having the washer running before I got into the shower! Fucking aye! I froze my ass off! Your such a inconsiderate bitch!" She screams looking at me from the door way.

Tears welling in my eyes. I should be used to her calling me that. But sadly I'm not. This is how it is every night.

Her screaming at me and my grandma because we didn't do what she wanted. "Well, for fucks sake mom. I didn't know the water gets cold when I wash my clothes!" I snap at her.

"Get out!" I scream repeatedly as the tears finally fell. "Fine, be a little bitch." She snaps slamming my door closed as I sit up on my bed, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Right now would be a great time to have Matthew on the phone comforting me, just like he used to.

I find my phone on the bed as I curl into a ball. Going into my videos saved to my phone finding the one that helped me every night. The one where Matthew had sent me when me and my mom were fighting.

I press play as he starts to speak. "Bells, don't let her get to you. Don't let her bring you down, that's what she wants. Smile not because your happy but because you can. It always helps. Remember I love you and I will be here through thick and thin. Your beautiful okay." He says.

My eyes burning more. Memories flashing through my mind as I thought about the past. "I miss this. I miss him." I whisper into my pillow as I slowly fall asleep.

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Waking up the next morning was a struggle considering I didn't sleep to well last night. I had the same reoccurring nightmare of myself dying and Matthew standing there watching me die as I screamed for him to help me.

But he wouldn't. I pull myself out of bed and go to the bathroom brushing my hair and teeth before pulling on some clothes for today.

Nothing extravagant. Just some light blue jeans from Wet Seal and a navy blue v neck with a white spaghetti strap under that.

I pull my hair up into a high pony tail as I apply my makeup. When finished I grab my phone off of the charger and pull my iPod out of my backpack the headphones still attached.

I stuff the ear buds into my ears and play, The Mother We Share by Churches.

I walk into the living room and sit down on the couch unlocking my phone and going onto twitter.

Tweeting a whole bunch of stuff.

- I miss the old days when you cared and didn't constantly yell at me. . -

- Hate fighting w. my mom. -

- Ugh I needa stop before I cry again . (: -

- Smileeee. Not because your happy but because you can. . #memories -